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This weekend, all the family was together......some work and alot of play.
Yesterday, I was in mom and dad's house alone.....everyone else was outside. As I walked through the hall, I felt dad there, he passed away in Jan., this hasn't happened to me before. Dad thrived on his grandkids and g-grandkids......they were all there and g-grandson had just learned to ride a bike without training wheels before I went in.
Many times I've wanted to feel dad, and haven't......but this time I wasn't thinking about him...just enjoying the family, as he would have wanted me to do.
It was so real, I could smell him and I could feel him smiling. I wanted to run and get everyone, but didn't because I didn't want to lose the moment. I stood there in that hallway, feeling his happiness and love, not wanting it to end.
After everyone left, I came home and took a shower, while hubby went to get movies. I had a meltdown in the shower.......missing him and wondering about what happened......am I going crazy? Could I tell anyone what happened? Would they think I'm nuts?
So, when hubby got home, I told him.....first saying "Please don't think I'm crazy!"
He smiled and said " Guess what? He was with me and son yesterday too!" And he told me that they were sitting out by the pool, trying to figure out how to get the liner out. There was an empty chair, hubby felt dad there, looked over and said he could see him plain as day, sitting there, arms folded and fingers intertwined.......thinking with them. He said he started to say " Well, do you what to put your two cents in on this?"....But, thought our son would think he was crazy.
He said it felt so good.
Then he went on to say that he's been wanting to ask our granddaughter something. She and my dad were close....realllllllllllllll close. She said, when dad died, that he came to her and told her not to cry, because he was happy and well......she never cried.
Well, the other day after months of trying to get her to ride her bicycle without training wheels, she went outside by herself and just started riding it.......no wrecks, no problems. Hubby wanted to ask her if her KingPoppa was with her.
Are we crazy, have any of you experienced this with the death of someone soooooooo close?
I have only felt him one time, and that was in a dream, he hugged me......and I haven't felt him since.
Dad loved his family so much.....a week before he died he told me that he didn't want to die, he wanted to stay with us......he wasn't afraid of dying because he knew where he was going......but he wasn't ready yet because of us. |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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| Not crazy! I believe the Father allows us to visit our families. |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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| Bub: See, I don't know where I stand on that :( I just know Dad was there yesterday........he wasn't there Memorial Day and the same people were all there.............why yesterday? I was really thinking that I was losing it.......this is all so new to me........I've been doing well, lately....not crying everyday. |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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| I just need to understand what hubby and I experienced? And to know if there are others who have been there too? |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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Awe....Cindy Lou....I am learning Don't ask why....just say thank you!!! I love you lady!!! God is good ALL THE TIME!!!
p.s.~ okay seriously...you are just a tad crazzzyyy....but that's why we love you....hehehehe |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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Love ya too, Miss!
Yep, I'm a little crazy........but then I don't have to make excuses for my silliness, LOLOLOL |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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| We don't have to understand it- LOL We will get to ask Jesus later. For now, just enjoy it! |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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| Bub : that's true........I just am soooooooooo not used to this and then to find out it happened to hubby the day before |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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hmmm....what happened to hubby....STOP LEAVING ME HANGIN....BUBS DON'T DO THAT!!!!
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| June 08, 2008 |
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| It's in this blog..........LOL |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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LOLOLOL
you crack me up Suga! |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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| LOL |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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hehehe not that...
Dear Cindy Lou,
I have been reading some of your blogs and comments. I see that you have sent up a prayer request and report about your husband. How is he feeling? I noticed in the above blog that your husband was trying to get a pool liner installed. Does this mean that he is feeling much better? Your husband has been on my mind alot, and if you would please give me an update that would be much appreciated.
Also I noticed that Hubby wanted to ask granddaughter something...Was KingPoppa with her...did he ever ask her? You know a child or baby, I believe, is more in tune with the Spirit. It would be interesting to hear her response.
Also, as I have to be heading off for a while, (my Daddy awaits) I would like to ask that you have a blessed Sunday. hehehe...I love ya lady!! Bubs too!! |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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| BTW you always give more in the comments...than you do in the original blog, so give me more lady... |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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Who, just watch that you don't dwell on the wrong aspects because it becomes a form of worship in us. Keep it on the Father and our Lord Jesus not the questions and the event.
Praise the Lord for the gift He gave you. |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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| The experience may have been given to you by the Lord, CindyLou, but I wouldn't dwell on the thought of an actual visitation. My concern is that you could be treading on dangerous spiritual grounds there, sister. |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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Dat was what I was trying to say- TY Mike |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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Miss : Hubby is better, just pray that it continues during this week at work :) No, he hasn't asked her yet :) He does a little then rests, then does a little more, then rests......
Mike and Bubs : Ok, maybe I didn't explain what I'm feeling right. I don't personally believe in actual spiritual visitations.....I think that's not of God......but I felt dad there and so did hubby.....I have never felt , man, how do I put this so you understand.......I've never felt like someone who passed on is still with me.......does that make sense......and it really threw me because I don't feel it all the time. I do feel that God was comforting me. I just wondered if anyone else has felt this? I was so in shock that I thought I had to be nuts......one of those where you don't automatically think about God. Does that make more sense? I don't know if I'm still explaining it right or not. I think God gave me a feel of dad, because honestly....I've been filling myself with God....I had drifted away during dad's illness and for a while afterward, I got caught up in taking care of dad so much that I pushed God to the back burner, then afterward hubby fell back into drugs for a little while ( escaping from dad dying)......now we're both back where we belong. I don't know......but Dad knew about hubby's drug problems and loved him anyway, and hubby promised Dad to take care of the family and mom right before Dad died. He started off failing God and Dad, so I feel that now God allowed us a feeling because we're so personally close to God, where we should be. |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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That deserves a WOOHOO!!! And then I think you answered your own questions about it!
God is good that way- hehe |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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| wooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooooooooo............ |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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| LOL.. dontcha love it when He does that? |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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| Yeah...........sometimes, LOLOL..................this one was a shock though, wasn't seeking, LOLOL |
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| June 08, 2008 |
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Lara Nell : God is getting the glory :) It is a learning experience, and that's funny for me to say. You see I worked home health and hospice for 9 years.....I'm used to death, I'm used to people talking to me about when they die, I helped pick out clothes for burial, I'm used to the signs of it not being long.
The story of how it happened with my dad is beautiful......absolutely God 100%.
My dad had Parkinson's and only 3/4 of his heart functioned. First heart attack, they lost him...but shocked him back...that was when he was 65. He always said that everyday he got up he would put his feet on the floor and thank God for another day, because he'd already died once and we all live on borrowed time.
Parkinson's took it's toll, and in Jan. he fell....I lifted him up and hubby helped me get him back in bed.....he didn't want to go to the doctor. But, by morn, he was hurting. ER room......they said 3 broken ribs and right hand broken....nursing home or go home.....he wanted to come home....so we did. Hubby and I moved in a 1 bedroom apt. with them and I took care of him round the clock. Breathing treatments every hour and all. Four days later, he wouldn't sleep....48 hours up with him. He told me to sleep, I said no. I asked him why he wouldn't sleep, he said because if he did he would die. I told him that he told me he wasn't afraid of death.....he said he wasn't, but that he wasn't ready to go yet. Then he said he was going to see his friend (who was dead) and even told mom goodbye, he looked off and I thought he was gone.......but he turned to me in fright, I've never, never seen him look that way. He said "Cindy, I'm not going there! I wanted to see him, but it's bad there" And tears were rolling. I went through his whole life with him that night, until hubby said "You can't do this anymore" Back to the ER. They said I couldn't do this by myself anymore.....and Dad said, "I want to go to a nursing home"........so they took him to a rehab to be there for up to 2 weeks.......the day we were to go and get him and take him to the nursing home they called.....he was in ICU.......light heart attack and pneumonia.
When we got there, I knew.....and with the family there, I held his hand and told him if he wanted to go it was ok but if he wanted to fight, we'd fight with him. And we held hands around him and I prayed. He held on.....one of my sons was in Canada on business and the other was in Indiana on business.......the one in Canada got home and got to talk with him.....all the family did, except the son in Indiana.........the morning he was coming home I told dad that he was on a plane, and tears rolled down dad's face. This was the son that was named after him and the one he lived with. I helped bathe him and he started to go.....the nurse asked me if I knew what was happening. I said Yes. And I went back to him.....held his face, kissed his tears, and told him it was ok to go.....he'd always been there for me and it was time to let me be the strong one.......he looked at me, the looked up, then closed his eyes and sighed. He was gone. God was sooo merciful and sooooo good to me! I was so blessed! Dad hadn't looked so peaceful in years. I finished washing his hair, washed his face and combed his hair. And laid with my head on his shoulder till they came to get him. To alot of people, I'm sure it sounds horrible....but it wasn't! I was blessed to be the last person my dad looked at before he looked at the face of Jesus!
One reason this was all so important to me, was that over and over patients told me that their families couldn't handle it and they told that with pain and tears in their eyes. |
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| June 09, 2008 |
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| Lara, yes it is :) |
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