TEACHER:       John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:              You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER:         Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN:             K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER:         No, that's wrong
GLENN:             Maybe it is wrong but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER:       Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:         H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:       What are you talking about?
DONALD:         Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER:       Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE:           Me!

TEACHER:      Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:             Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER:       Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE:             I is...
TEACHER:       No, Millie. Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE:            Alright.  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

TEACHER:       George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree but also admitted it.  Now Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS:             Because George still had the ax in his hand. 

 TEACHER:       Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
 SIMON:            No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. 

TEACHER:       Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.   Did you copy his?
 CLYDE :           No, it's the same dog.

TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:       A teacher.