I have said before on another post that some people live their lives thinking the grass in always greener on the other side. Unfortunately, people also think there is someone "better", than the person they have in front of them.  So they go from one relationship to another looking for that "perfect" mate. And they make their judgment more on the superficial things than the important things (the character of the person and the personality) . Men look for the "Beauty/Sexy" and women the "Mr. GQ", or some look for the "big bank account".  And even when they get involved in a relationship they never fully and totally commit in their hearts - just in case the "better" mate comes along. They end relationships as soon as it becomes inconvenient because of any number of problems that can arise; or the "looks" start to fade from their partner: or another "better" person comes into the picture.

The result of this kind of attitude is multiple marriages and divorces: or cohabiting; or never having a real, loving, meaningful relationship, just many superficial ones. So often the worse result is children born out of wedlock, and/or not growing up with their father (or in some cases mother); or worse yet – never knowing who their father/mother was. It also results in abortions and children living in homes or being in the foster care system because they never get adopted.

When it comes to looking for a mate, yes, there must be a physical attraction, but that attraction could/should come from the `beauty" of the person within and not from the physical appearance of the person. Do not over look that Sister-in-Christ or Brother-in-Christ because they're not your "type" or they do not fit society's standard of "beauty".  Remember that in the Bible it says:  Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised (Prov. 31:30). And women, even through this verse was meant for men to realize what was the important quality to look for in a woman; women must also look for this in a man. Do not fall for looks, charm, wit, power, or wealth – look for God fearing integrity, morals, and values – remember this man is suppose to be the Spiritual Head of Household, and you are called to submit to him – so make sure he is a godly man and that he will love you as he is called to – the way Christ loved the church. 

We must learn to look at others the way God does – look at their character. Is this someone whose character you admire and respect? Look at their personality - is this someone you would like as a friend; someone you feel comfortable with and can talk to about anything and everything. The person you pick for your spouse should be someone who you can consider your best friend, your helpmate, and your lover (when married). Someone who has the same faith and love for Jesus as you do (be equally yoked); with whom you can pray,  worship,  study the bible, and serve the Kingdom of God with. Someone you can feel secure in knowing they will honor their commitment to you because they know that commitment was made in God's name. Someone you can depend on to "have your back" at all times and forever.
 

Your number one priority when looking for a mate must be PRAYER! Ask God to bring you a mate. Ask God to reveal to you who your mate is. If you have someone in mind – ask God to reveal to you if this is the person you should marry.  THEN WAIT AND LISTEN FOR HIS ANSWER!!!!!! !!!!! DO NOT MOVE FORWARD IN A RELATIONSHIP UNTIL YOU FEEL YOU HAVE RECEIVED CONFIRMATION FROM GOD THAT THIS IS THE RIGHT MATE FOR YOU.

Take inventory of what you are looking for in a mate. Make sure you have your "checklist" prioritized correctly! And remember to pray about it and always keep God first. Do not let this desire become bigger than your desire to glorify God.