As she gathered the last few pieces of her heart together she left the church to clear her head.

She knew what she had heard was true but, she couldn't bare to let it go.

"God..where are you in this moment?

Here I came obediently and you're no where to be found!!!

Is that what you wanted was to leave me....and take him too?

She was in her car driving down an old country road.

She rolled her window down and just kept driving. On and On trying to find something...something she knew she'd been missing for a while.

"so," said that dark erie voice that she felt more sickeningly familiar with then Gods own voice.

"He did leave you... poor thing, took you so long to realize that is why people walk away from the so called faith. Can you blame them now? Here you are...you were supposedly CALLED of God to play music to Glorify Him....but, here you are ALONE and He's not even talking to you.

Why, what kind of God is that?"

This maddening voice made her want to throw herself out of the car in an attempt to just simply stop the pain.

" Stop it, stop it, stop it!" she continued yelling. The voice started to take over and get louder "Why just think if there really was a God would he let you suffer being so tormented by a voice in your head?...or maybe...it's the truth that the voice speaks.... Your husband DIED and you lost it all...without him you have and are nothing. You being the little hopeless sinning human you are couldn't have prayed or believed hard enough for his life let alone for your own mind. The Bible does say NOT by your works or even your own strength...

Then he let out a low chuckle...

You're going crazy....you're contemplating suicide....no one else in the world who lives life the way they wanted too ends up in your shoes. Tell me of one???

She could feel a swarm or horrible evils surrounding her mind.

"What do you want with me? she yelled.

Well, I can't use you...neither can God...you're broken and messed up. Just go for it...the longer you think about it wether or not to just STOP the pain...the more misery you're putting yourself through.

God can't use you like that and...well, you surely don't want to live life serving the devil....just, do yourself and your dead husband a favor and go spend eternity with him NOW.

COME ON! He yelled striking fear in her heart.

No, said a firm but distant voice.

You're to far away from her now...don't bother...she doesn't want to hear from the one to gives....and TAKES away.

No, said the firm voice....

All of sudden between fear brought on by the evil voice and hope carried from the firm voice she was confused.

She started shaking her head and driving faster only for it to provoke a spiritual battle like never before.

The wind picked up...howling and she could hear screaming tormented voices in it...while also hearing the marching as if an arming were near by.

She pulled her car over and got out she started running.

The wind was louder...clouds were darker and the Evil voice was yelling DO IT....GO....GET OUT OF YOUR MISERY!!! While all the firm voice said was NO!

In confusion and anger she yelled to the firm voice.

Why.... OR Why not???

I'm begging you!!! Show me now please!!!

Still more howling winds and gut wrenching screams. Then more and more marching of an army.

Yet above this seemingly louder voice and the screeching tormenting demons that plagued her mind It happened.