| Overwhelmed is the Mommy... |
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I wrote this on June 19th... I just forgot to post it on her first... It kind of explains where I'm at right now. My comments on where I was a few days ago are in pink (imagine that!)
I admit, I have a lot on my plate, and I've taken on more. But, as my husband says, "You've gotta crawl through the trenches if you wanna fly in the sky." Still trying to figure out where he got that quote of it he made it up.
I want to finish college so bad, that I'll do about ANYTHING to get through it. I'm doing online courses so that I can stay at home and do them. But, there was a catch that I didn't know about... and now I'm going to have to get a job to be able to keep my commitment. Looking back at this, I thought it would be daunting to get a job...but I remember working and going to school in college and high school... and I loved it... but then again... no kids or spouse was in the picture.
Avon isn't working out like I planned. I've talked myself purple in the face to try to get sales... and I'm VERY uncomfortable with it. So, I'm going to toss it to the wayside, I think. I'm just not a sales person. I'm not. I hate selling, I hate asking for the sale, and I hate talking to people about buying stuff when I can't even afford it myself at a discount. Thank goodness I don't need to "sell" God!
And then there's Melaleuca. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the product. And the fact that I DON'T sell anything makes it even better. I love the fact that IF and WHEN I decide to build a business with it, I can. And I STILL won't be selling it. I'll be helping people with the sign up. Not a bad deal. It's just not something that I want to do RIGHT NOW. I just want to use the product for a while.
But I'm overwhelmed. I need to get this house cleaned and organized. I need to downsize, really. I just don't know where to start. And starting somewhere like all the organizing gurus say is NOT always the way to do it. I'd like to downsize to pretty much nothing. I keep the mindset, "If there's going to be a disaster tomorrow, I know where all the important papers (birth certificates, driver's license, insurance, a bank statement, tax info, etc.) are." That way, if I run into something I can't make a decision about, I just toss it if I don't need it. This has really been helpful. I've gotten through three large boxes of nothing but paper and junk. And just doing that fifteen minutes a day is helping so much!
And I'm also overwhelmed when it comes to our finances. I'm just having trouble keeping the budget. I can MAKE the budget, and it's feasible on paper, but then I have problems keeping it.
And then there's the job aspect. I SHOULD get a job, but then I'd have to pay for childcare, and that hasn't worked out yet. If we could buckle down for a month and get the kids into a daycare/preschool, then we can get NACCRA assistance. I'm pretty sure that's the route we're going to take. There's really no other choice. We've found a great Christian daycare that is very affordable. And it's close to John's office. So, now, I'm working on getting a job. I have begun a prayer journal (again) thanks to a suggestion (or reminder) from a friend. And I'm starting to notice a difference. John and I have also started a bible study with each other. And we read to the kids every night from the Children's Bible that my Dad gave to me (it was his) before I moved to LCC. We've made friends with a great family from Grace Church, and they're so encouraging! So, all in all, things are starting to look up (as if they were really down). I just need to give God my burdens and be faithful that He will put things into place before me. In His Love, Amanda |
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