You know you’ve had too much caffeine when…

     Juan Valdez names his donkey after you

     Your eyes stay open when you sneeze     
    
     Your only source of nutrition comes from sweet n low.

     You don’t sweat, you percolate.      
  
     You can type sixty words a minute with your feet.

     You sleep with your eyes open.

     You attend AA meetings just for the free coffee.

     Your life’s goal is to “amount to a hill of beans.”

     Instant coffee takes too long.

     Your first aid kit contains a double espresso with an I.V. hook-up.     

     Your so wired you pick up FM radio.

     Your lips are permanently stuck together in the sipping position.

     You put your co-worker in a headlock for trying to switch your
            regular coffee with Folger’s Coffee Crystals.

     You haven’t slept since the Johnson administration.

     You named your twins "Espresso" and "Cappuccino."

     You can jump start your car without cables.