It began sometime last year as a challenge to myself while reading through the whole Bible. A friend of mine says he can take any verse of scripture and direct it to the Gospel: the saving news that Jesus died for our sins to remove the emnity God has for us and allow us to enter into His presence for eternity. If all of scripture is God-breathed, useful for teaching and rebuking, surely every single verse will have value. I was like, "Really?" I fed him a few random scriptures, and sure enough, he directed topic straight to the foot of the cross each time. Amazed, I told him I'd stump him eventually. So I read the Bible with that in the back of my head. In my readings, I found a few good ones, but at the moment only one comes to mind: 31:33 seventy-two thousand cattle, I can't imagine any preacher in all of history quoting this scripture, can you? And sure enough, after a few seconds of stumbling, he gave up and we all laughed. Have you got any random verses like this? In my travels, I've run across a few other verses that can be taken out of context to mean something completely different and completely funny: Concerning Santa Claus: 2:6 Ho, ho, come forth, and flee from the land of the north, saith the Lord: for I have spread you abroad as the four winds of the heaven, saith the Lord. Concerning food fights (or TPing): 5:1 Then I turned, and lifted up mine eyes, and looked, and behold a flying roll. For overly-friendly young ladies: 13:9 Is not the whole land before you? Separate yourself from me. If you take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if you take the right hand, then I will go to the left." Concerning Christmas trees: 10:3 for the customs of the peoples are false. A tree from the forest is cut down, and worked with an axe by the hands of a craftsman. 10:4 Men deck it with silver and gold; they fasten it with hammer and nails so that it cannot move. Concerning severe bouts of gas: 4:19 My bowels, my bowels! I am pained at my very heart; my heart maketh a noise in me; I cannot hold my peace, because thou hast heard, O my soul, the sound of the trumpet, the alarm of war. Scripture to post over leftovers in the fridge you want left alone: 2:21 "Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch" I hope you enjoyed these as much as I have. Post your own! |
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