You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!

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Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

No, really?

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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that's taking things a bit far!

Miners Refuse to Work

after Death

Those good-for-nothing lazy so-and-sos!

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Juvenile Court to Try

Shooting Defendant

See if that works any better than a fair trial!

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War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!

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If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Ya' think?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cold Wave Linked to

Temperatures

Who would have thought!

Enfield Couple Slain;

Police Suspect Homicide

They may be on to something!

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Man Struck By Lightning:

Faces Battery Charge

He probably IS the battery charge!

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Astronaut Takes Blame for

Gas in Spacecraft

That's what he gets for eating those beans!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chain-saw Massacre all over again!

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Hospitals are Sued by

7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they tall!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through

Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?

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