Sometimes I struggle with what to write in my blogs.  Not sure what to put out there by fear of being judged.  Sometimes I feel everything I write is supposed to be super uplifting and encouraging.  But then that would make me fake because I am human and go through struggles like anyone else and want an outlet to write about it.  And where better than a  Christian website, where if we read anything that concerns us we should pray for one another.   With that being said I will continue todays thoughts.  But I am not writing about my personal struggle but about a family issue.

When I was born my parents were currently practicing in the Catholic church, however my mom was raised in a extremely legalistic pentecostal church.  When she met my dad she had no choice but to convert to catholicism.  She went through all the rituals even though she says in her heart she didn't want to but she didn't have a say.  We were all baptised under catholic and both of my brothers did confirmation.  While growing up we lived next to a Pentecostal Pastor.  My mom use to send my brothers to church with him.  Both brothers became believers in their teens.  By the time I was 12 years of age my parents then converted to Pentecostal.  However when my siblings and myself all came of age to leave the house we all left the Pentecostal church.  Both my brothers went to the Military.  I am the youngest.  We are all married now with our own families.  I am the only one that has returned to the Lords path.  My parents still practice in the Pentecostal church.

 All of our spouses have a catholic background.  However all of us were married non-denominational.  When we all married none of us (all siblings and spouses) were involved in any church.  I would say that we hadn't entered a church in over 10 years.   My middle brother was the first to have children he gave into his wife request to baptise their son under Catholic.  My parents did not attend and that turned into a war.  Ugly.  My brother says he knows that its wrong but he just did it to please his wife. (this happened 5 years ago)

When my daughter was born I had my strict Catholic Aunt calling me asking me when I was going to baptize my daughter and my mother in law asking her son the same.  My rule was that neither my husband nor myself had attended a church in a decade so therefore we were in no position to baptize her and answer questions about how we would bring her up in church before a priest/pastor/bishop, etc. My other argument was when she is old enough she can choose what religion she wanted to follow. But all along in my heart I knew what was write and I dreamed of bringing my child up in church and her learning about the Lord like I did.  Not necesarily with all the legalities I had to deal with but just to love the Lord and see/feel his beauty, mercy and miracles.  I would silently ask the Lord to do something to make it easy for us to find our way back to him.  I didn't want a split household with my husband going to one church and I going to another.  My husband had made it clear he wasn't going Pentecostal.  The most beautiful thing is when god answers but he answers so clearly.  There is no mistake about it.  The Lord brought us all the way from New York to Florida in a house right across the street from the church where he brought both my husband and I back to him.     Praise the Lord!  We love our church.  The Grace Place.

 Ok back to the story. 

 Now my older brother just had a little girl and he too is pleasing his wife and baptising the baby catholic.  I actually feel sorry for him.  This is happening in a few weeks.  He actually sounded very upset and angry about it.  But one thing he said was that he hoped it wouldn't start a family war.  He really doesn't want it to be done.  But he is just giving in. 

I am actually sad right now.  So many things go through my head.  I spoke with my mom (she has no idea that my older brother is baptizing his daughter in a few weeks) and I made sure NOT to deliver the news.  However strangely enough she mentioned that she hoped my older brother would not do that. 

I am sad because rather than this being a huge issue - having a priest do a ritual to a child for them to be cleaned of the sins of Adam and Eve (even though babies are already born sin free) i think its pointless.  I think what we should really be doing is praying that god shows us to be good parents and how to instruct them in the ways of the Lord.  Why does some water on a babies head have to be such a huge ordeal?  We should be fighting for a way back to christ.  For our salvation. Not for a kind of baptism.

My mom says she feels that my brothers have no say in this situation.  However I stop to think what can they stand up for if they have no leg to stand on?  What argument would they give?  They haven't gone to church in a decade maybe two decades.  It wouldn't make any sense.

This takes me back to yesterday when I was driving to work the song "All we need is You" came on.  And I started contemplating that it is so true.  Really all we need is him.  No ritual or anything like that.  Just the Lord and the Lord will guide us on what he wants us to do.  Then we will have a voice in what to stand up for and when to say NO!

This is my favorite verse

You see no matter what my brother decides even if he does agree for the baptismal.  My family's ONLY WAR should be that we pray for all the grandchildren to be trained in the way of the Lord.  No matter what rituals have already been taken place.  because once they are trained/introduced to the Lord and his love it stays in your heart, in your soul.  Once you experience Gods love it stays with you forever and if for some reason you stray - gods love will always guide you back.  I know it.  He did me. 

God bless.