I was posed a very solemn question in a very light hearted manner. I think this is a question we all wrestle with, and I would like to share my thoughts on this subject. I by no means have all the answers, but this is how I approach life. Perhaps this might help some of you, and maybe you all can help me sharpen my response to opportunities that present ourselves.
Here is the question: For instance if I give to a beggar/bum on the street am I just reinforcing his lifestyle choice?
Here are some other scenarios: A Hitch-hiker do I stop and pick him up or is that too dangerous?
A grown son who has developed a drug habit asks for money should I give it to him?
A daughter who has gotten married decides to leave her husband because of incompatibility not adultery or domestic violence and wants to come live with you until she can get on her feet will you let her come?
These are not always easy questions to answer are they? My opinion is this:
THE PRINCIPLE IS TO ALWAYS GIVE NO MATTER THE SITUATION.
Jesus said, "give to everyone"
This is one of those verses that I wish I could cut out of the Bible! Lord, isn't there a caveat? Isn't there an exception? Does it say to give to some? Give to those who you think need it? Give to everyone except the jerks and the bums and the lazy? No, Jesus said give to everyone. But what about those that are going to waste my hard earned money Lord? I worked hard for that and I need it and my kids need it too! If I give them what is supposed to be mine I will be like them! But Lord, if I give that drug addict money it will only feed his habit. How responsible would that be Lord? But Lord, my daughter should not have left her husband. She needs to stick it out and tough it out. If I let her stay here I become an accomplice to her sin right? But Lord, what if I pick up the hitch-hiker and I am alone, I don't think I should.
I am not saying that these objections are not valid. They are valid. But, what do we do? One one hand: If we see our brother in need and do not help him how can we say the love of God dwells in us? But on the other hand: If I help him, I will only enable him to keep living that lifestyle.
These are some guidelines I have been mulling over:
1. Pray and ask God for wisdom. (If any man lacks wisdom let him ask God. James 1:5)
2. Listen to the Holy Spirit. (There are times that the Spirit will talk to you it will come as a strong impression, or conviction, or impulse)
3. Be obedient to the Word and to the Holy Spirit.
4. Use common sense. Don't do things that are dangerous, or foolish.
5. Always give, if it is in your power to do so.
6. Trust God for protection.
7. Give as if you are giving to Jesus.
8. Let God handle that person, don't play the Holy Spirit.
9. Trust God to meet your needs.
10. Always give cheerfully and in Jesus' name.
As for the original question: Do I give to the bum on the street?
I say yes. Give and be gracious. Remember, but for the grace of God you could be right there with him. Let God convict, him. Pray for him and give it as you were giving it to Jesus. Cause after all, it could be Him just checking on you.
As for the hitch-hiker, I would say it depends on what the Holy Spirit says to you.
For the son maybe once or twice, but after that no more then I become the enabler.
For the daughter: I would say yes, but I would not be happy about it and would push for counseling or reconciliation.
I would be interested in hearing what your thoughts are on this and what the Lord has shown you about this?
As it stands with Jim and I, we say no when we feel the Holy Spirit telling us to. As for the kids, YIKEs, we need to SAY no! ( it's hard when it' s your kids)
I have to agree with much of what you said Brother Todd... Let God be your guide.. there will be times that you want to give and the Lord will tell you NO! you might learn why later or never learn... But God sees all. As for our Children, it's hard to say no, but if you teach them responsibility, then they well go back to it. But then if God says NO! we have to listen there also. give and don't worry about where is going, God will take care of that... We have to trust the Lord...He will take care of it, He always does
Wow, this is a very interesting one indeed and questions I have pondered myself...
1) The beggar/bum Listen give....and do it generously...go grab a coat from home, a blanket, a great home cooked meal, a Bible, stick in in a back pack with a water bottle and voila...you have given and done so generously....in fact maybe we all should carry backpacks in our cars stocked with stuff to just pass out...
2) It is illegal and dangerous to pick up hitchhikers. I'm a single mom with a responsibility to my children. I don't do it. Period. I don't feel bad about it either. We are to obey the laws of the land...now if I can give someone a ride I know I will, but not pick up a stranger....nope....
3) I believe in tuff love here, it is often not until that kiddo hits rock bottom that they will make a change, again, a Bible, food, yes, but money for their habit, nope, not on your life...cause I would have figured by this time we had been round, and round, and round the bend, and I wouldn't enable their drug habit....
4) Incompatibility? NO, that is the way of the world...I don't expect either of my kids to enter into a unequally yoked marriage anyway...now if this were someone else...I would encourage them to go to the church, seek Godly council, and spend a few nights of R & R alone for perspective only, and I would encourage GODLY council to both of them...but NEVER to leave home. That is a break of trust and not something I would support....
See as Christians I believe we are to WALK differently. Our lives are to LOOK different, and our OUTCOMES will then be different. It is not that we won't hit the same snags, just that the same snags won't hit us and break us the same way it will people in the world. That is how our lives should LOOK different to people looking in. If you compare a Christians life to a non-Christians life with the same thing happening in them...the Christian's life and walk and outlook should be totally different....Christians should make the world look from the outside in and say...."I want that" Steven Curtis Chapman and his children's response to the death of their Maria is a perfect example...who wouldn't want teenage kids like that? AWSOME....
The homeless question is often tougher than it appears though. The beggars in Jesus' day had no choice. Sick, crippled, diseased and disabled, blind, deaf, etc. Picking up handouts was a matter of life and death for them! Here, we live in the richest country in the world. Our poor are rich compared to the poor of the rest of the world. Our "poor" (or perhaps most of them) often have avenues available to them to get out of their situation.
The fact is, most of the "beggars" here are living that way by choice. Case in point, a guy in our office took one in, dressed him and fed him, gave him a place to live and found him a job. Even reunited him with family members who he had lost touch with. A couple months later he was back on the street. There are verses in the bible about laziness and slothfulness too, for example, For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "If a man will not work, he shall not eat."
I sure don't have a problem handing a buck or two to the the fellas I see everyday. But it's a complex issue, and the dollar I give them to make myself feel better would do nothing for them. I remember a homeless advocacy group in CA many years ago distributing new shopping carts to the homeless in their state. Did absolutely nothing for those homeless except give em something to carry more trash around in. Wow, there's a solution! Like saying "here, stay homeless, but let us make it easier!"
Again, great blog in fact! In our society saturated with money, there are an infinite number of opportunities to give. Lord give us the wisdom to know who/how/when to give!!
Lori: What a thoughtful response! I like your opinions and I did not know it was illeagal to hitch a ride. How about that? Any way, I think this something that is a matter of conscience. We need to obey the Lord the best we can, and I love how you are prepared to be compassionate! Wow that is fantastic. I applaud your stand on the children issue. Nice to meet you and thanks for stopping by your input is valued.
Mike: I hear what you are saying but I don't buy it. Yes lazy people will bring poverty upon themselves, but we need to remember that we are a job loss, a major illness or something of that nature away from being like them. The way I look at that is: I give it to Jesus and hopefully that will solve any annamosity I might have towards the one who won't work and mooches off of my hard work and generosity. I have children! They are the biggest mooches I know!
Todd, the verse you used is not new to us, we consider it as we live. Our financial giving simply doesn't include the homeless segment of society, directly and for now at least. They are not the only "poor" people in society, either. We have been personally convicted to help widows, orphans, divorced and victimized single mothers (unfortunately no shortage there), the sick and elderly, families in the church who work hard but have fallen on hard times, neighbors in tough circumstances, etc. All of these either DO work and see little return on their efforts, or they WOULD work, and HAVE worked when they could, but can't now. These are the "involuntary poor" whom the Lord has called us to help.
Just curious, whataya think you would you do if you lived in a city where you encountered between 15-20 (or more?) homeless/beggars a day? That would be a lot of $$! Do you encounter many where you live? I wonder if our perspectives differ somewhat based on geography.
Good conversation. Even if you don't "buy" my take. :-)
We have our share, but not 15 to 20. Mobile is about the same size as New Orleans after Katrina. I understand your argument, and know that you are not the "Federal government" LOL but, it is kind of like the story about the boy and the starfish. A boy and his grandfather were walking along the beach one morning and noticed literally hundreds of starfish washed up on the beach. The boy, was picking up the starfish and throwing them back into the ocean. The boy was working really hard at this when the Grand Father said, "son, why do you keep throwing these starfish back into the ocean? You can't possibly save them all! The boy responded to his grandfather enthusiastically, and said, I know GrandPa, but it made a difference to that one! That is kind of how we need to look at those who are less fortunate than us. We may not be able to save all of them, but we can help one or two. Our Western society of a rat race is not necessarily for everyone. There are some that choose to not run the race but make no mistake panhandling is hard work! In the summer is is unbearably hot down here and if someone can stand all day in the sun, I think he deserves a dollar! He is a salesman! Win some lose some but to him it is a numbers game. Any way, I think it would be important not to become cold and calous to the plight of others and lump them all together as lazy jokers looking for a free ride.
You are loved Mike! thanks for the conversation!
Yours is a healthy perspective Todd. All I can say is amen!
You remind me, last Oct. we were at OBX. My kids saw all these little BLUE jellyfish washing up on the beach, they would inflate w/air as they lay on the wet sand. Well, the kids spent most of our first day at the beach throwing as many of those jellies back in the water as they could, until two of my kids got stung. That brought an abrupt end to the rescue of the blue jellyfish! haha
LOL...Yeah Jellys ruin the beach experience. My son is afraid to go in the gulf now! Had horrible experience. Yeah leave the Jelly Fishin to Sponge Bob and Patrick! Love you man of God!
i am reading the responses from all of you.........mike,lori and bro.todd have some great points.........i don't run into most of the situations......so it good to hear both sides........i how ever did encouter a lady walking down the road......it was just me,my daughter and my son in the car, with all the bad things that you hear, i just passed the lady on up.........no sooner than i was going by her, the Holy Spirit told me to turn around and pick her up.........so i did.........the lady was on her way to get a sausage and biscuit from another lady that feeds those in need and the lady i picked up was a sister that had fallen out of the will of God and was in a bad way......she cried because God still loved her enough to send her a ride....i waited at the house( where she got her food) and then took her on into bay minette......when i dropped her off at the store,tears streaming down her face, she asked me to pray with her......... if i had been disobident to the Holy Spirit and not turned around, she would have missed God loving on her that day,that way and i would have missed seeing a miracle.........there was so many ways God ministered to all of us that day...........i think that no matter what the situation ALWAYS BE OBIDIENT TO THE HOLY SPIRIT..........
I still give...have been in some of the situations and they were ligitimate...I let God speak to the person if they are being deceptive....God can use these gifts as a way to show how He provided for them in a time on their lives when they look back or someone is trying to reach them by ministering to them.
I do give differently though...I make sure I am safe...I buy food and don't give money unless I hear directly from God and have peace about it.
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