I lost an aunt in June. More like a cousin really, because we were the same age. We were closest aruond the jr. high years, not at all close recently. She lived her short life harshly. Alcohol, drugs, sex, bad language, violence, neglect, poor health from her rough lifestyle, couldn't hold a job, showed no interest in God . . . I avoided her and was afraid for those who didn't, believing there was no limit to the harm she could do to another. If ever there was a hopeless soul, surely hers was.
At the funeral her aunt shared that she had told her on the phone she was sure she was going to heaven. A friend shared that the two of them had been reading the Bible together for the past six months. Her brother-in-law shared that they had talked and he was sure she was saved. Nice platitudes, I thought, but so very improbable. Doesn't every family attempt to soothe each other with such stories upon the passing of one who's lost? I had not seen her in about a year and a half, but I had heard no evidence to lead me to believe such a story.
I didn't sleep well the next few nights. Couldn't get her out of my mind. Then in the middle of the night God placed a question on my mind. "What did you send her for Christmas?"
What? For Christmas? Nothing. Maybe a card?
The question wouldn't go away. It kept coming back, until I started to remember.
6 months earlier, in December, as I was making out my Christmas cards, I got to her name on the list. Useless, I thought. What's the use of sending her a card to celebrate a birth she doesn't care about? But I prayed for her, and was led to send something more. I mailed her a study book on the Gospel of John; a brochure about the meaning of life not being found in a bottle, drugs, sex, etc., but in Jesus; and probably a Christmas card. A waste of time, I remember thinking, but I felt God's leading and was reluctantly obedient.
Yes, I did send that. I remembered, and I cried.
Now 6 months later she was gone. I had had no idea her life was almost over, but God knows all things. Did she know Him in her last few months? I hope . . .
I am humbly reminded that no soul is without hope and that God alone is the judge of all hearts. He is capable of doing anything He chooses to do, and asks only for our obedience, even when we don't understand and can't see past our own judgments. My heart is repentant for giving up hope. Souls are not ours to save, but prayer and obedience are surely our calling. Our power is so very limited, but He doesn't ask us to be all-powerful. He asks us to place all our hope in Christ alone.
2:12 remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world.
Amen! This is an excellent example of what our job is in this world, I think I tell this to everybody only God knows our heart only him can judge, as for us, spread his word.
EXcellent blog Kathy...and I am honored that my blog prompted you to write it. I am hoping that your aunt read that book and was saved when she died. You at least made the effort to lead her in the right direction, and God will honor you for that. What she did with it was up to her. Yes, I realize you said you reluctantly obeyed God's leading, but you could have ignored it just as easily...you didn't. Blessings to you.
We all have people in our life that just seem to be TOTALLY lost to the world and for the most part they are... We as God's children should encourage them and provide the word to them. We do and they in turn look at us as if we are crazy. We have done what we are suppose to do but the old saying goes"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink:. So true. It hurts when that person has gone and we wonder, Did I do all I could do?. I have been in that situation and still struggle with some people. I pray that I do as my Father leads me to do and ask his forgiveness when I give up. I know he doesn't.
Voice and Pastor Tim, thank you! Gracias, Mariah! Que Dios te bendiga!
Mike, me too, bro!
Amen, Mary. Only God can save, but we can pray and care and obey His leading! After that, neither the credit nor the blame belongs to us. A wise softball coach once asked me when I was down about making the last out and losing the game, if I also took personal credit for all the game we had won. No, we can only do our part. Much love right back atcha! :)
Deb, your blog did indeed inspire this one! And the Michael English song was in my head thanks to Bestemor!
Oh Kathy...this is powerful indeed...you never know the effect you may have on someone's life...One of my favorite quotes: "Your public ministry will never be greater than your private prayer life" It is so true...it all starts with prayer...and staying in that attitude opens you up to hear from the Holy Spirit...to follow His promptings...it can be hard though...but you did good Kathy...though you didn't feel it would make a difference you still sent the book...one day you'll get to see just how big of an impact your life here on this earth has made...Many blessings to you...and thanks for the post!!!
I hope as you do, Kathy. The former President of the universtity I graduated from apparently had a similar spiriual hunger that was reported about your aunt because just before he died he an dhis wife did a cruise doing the Apostle Paul missionary trips and studied the Bible with his wife. Also, remember the Prodigal Son parable.
In June 1989, I wouldn't have traded my last week and a half with my dad for a billion dollars or a true permanent. I thought that I would not see him again after his death, but when I showed him the picture of the open hands of Jesus, he had a wonderful smile and I knew he had gotten saved. My children, mother, and sister are moral and ethical, but living humanistic lives. I hope they are barely saved. They think I am a religioius fanatic because of me doing fulltime ministry. Also, I have done a lot of intercessory prayer for Christian leaders who are persuading many away from the Bible truths and even for the politicians who are going against Chrisitianity. There have been many deathbed conversions.
Bill, thank you for sharing your personal stories!
Ms Suga, you are so right that all of us influence those around us far more than we are aware. Everything we say, everything we do. And I love the quote: "Your public ministry will never be greater than your private prayer life" So very true! Thank you for sharing!
I'm sorry for your loss....While you may not have been close, you were connected....you had a relationship. It can be painful to experience the relationship that never was. Life is all about relationships. This from an engineer.
I decided a long time ago to avoid people who sucked the living soul from me. The toxic nature, the language, the attitudes, the problems self inflicted are just too much for too long. But I've been praying for them that they will come to recognize Christ.
Thank you for a wonderful example reminding us that while we give up, Jesus saves.
THANK YOU KATHY, ur testimony serve us our light tower in a darkland of lost soul i was crying when i read your blog same time listening to michael english song of in christ alone yup we are all putting the seed to the soil after that its up to GOD to protect and bear its fruits ...i remember the movie shindler list many christian have same thing in common like shindler when he says if i only sell all my properties maybe many more soul of the jews will be saved in nazi concentration camp. sometimes we think as a person that no matter what we do no matter what we say to a GOD less people is all mess we would not think seriously b4 that being a seed planter its all up to the soil and sun how to grow that seed we put in the soil like an ordinary farmer we have to pray for a moderate rain and sun not a typhoon or a drought in CHRIST alone yes we can do nothing without CHRIST thank you thank you my sister for this wonderful sharing ..GOD BLESS YOU its me marc a filipino here in japan
Wow Kathy that is a powerful reminder. We don't always see the results of our obedience, but God uses it and sometimes in a powerful way. God bless you for listening and obeying. peace
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