Anorexia and Bulimia

God is so awesome! as I set here and think of the many times I have been blessed and I have been healed by the hand of God. I have been healed of an eating disorder Anorexia and Bulimia. I stated at a young age. For years I thought I had my life all together, I way 17 when I got married and was 85lbs. Everyone just thought I was small and that was the way I was. No one in my family new I had such a big secret in my life until one day I really started throwing up blood and not just food. I new at that time I had to do something and do it fast before I talked myself out of it. I saw my Dr. and he gave me medicines and I went to therapy no one new about that either. See, I know we all have our secrets! and it's ok to have our secrets it all depends on what kind you have. If I would have kept this LITTLE secret to myself any longer than what I did I would have killed myself. Anorexia and Bulimia will kill you it will cause your body to start shutting down, you can lose your teeth, lose of hair, it makes you hurt all over, sleep all the time because you hurt all over or you just don't have any energy to get up. It can cause your liver to fail and shut down, I know of a girl right now that is dieing because of this disorder. I came open with it about 2 years ago was I over it then? NO I still hung on to it. I would have a house full of people over at my house and would go to my bathroom and throw up everything I just had eaten with family and friends and no one still new anything was wrong. I finally came to the end of myself!! and I new if I didn't get real help, real help from God!! not man but from God!!I went to my church family and told my little secret. They prayed for me and prayed for me I can NOW say it has been 6 mouths I have not thrown up not one time. I thank GOD everyday of my life that I'm healed from this disorder. Do I still think about it? YES, do I do it? NO I now have friends I can call when times get to bad and I have those strong feelings of going back to what I was not eating or throwing up. When you have Bulima your bathroom is the enemy. I have learned that it is up to ME and me alone to go forward and not look behind me. My past is my past and so is your if you let it be. God can help you just like He helped me to live. My bathroom is no my enemy it was me. My Pastor has a great saying that I now live by. I've not come this far, fought this hard, cried my tears, conquered my past - to quit...I'm in this thing to win!!!! I am a winner!! You have to also forgive yourself as I did. I'm forgiven and it is forgotten by God, I will never forget where I have come from. I'm Blessed. I Know God has some awesome plans for our plans for lives, other wise I wouldn't be here.