The Lord tapped on my shoulder a few months back about something, and I wanted to write about it.  Things happen (as you all know), and I'm sure the enemy was throwing some of those things in my way to keep me from sharing what I was thinking about, and for the last couple months all those distractions accomplished what they were sent to do: distract me. :)

Then today, beloved Mike posted a blog that reminded me about it (since they're about the same basic topic, though with a bit different substance), so here I am to present my thoughts to you for (hopefully) your edification and encouragement.

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So a couple months ago, some circumstances arose that really led me into a bit of an emotional state...circumstances that seemed (to me at least) to cause some of my own family members to think of me as some sort of dishonest, no-integrity people-user -- basically the complete opposite of how I approach ANYone, let alone family! -- and on the trip home after visiting one of them trying to "clear things up" I just sat in the back seat, mostly silent, with hot tears coming from my eyes.

You probably know what kind of tears I'm talking about.  They're the "hot tears" pouring forth out of a mixture of anger and sadness, kind of like a mixture between "the neighbor just ran over your dog" and "your wife just ran left you for your business partner".  Tears that mix those things with feelings of betrayal with the completely offensive thought that someone would assume you'd intentionally do thus-and-so to them.  If you've never experienced them, I pray you'll never have to, especially not from something that happened within your own family.

So anyways, I'm sitting in the backseat mulling this stuff over (and we all know how productive that usually is), so reaizing the futility I tried to think about  something else.

At the time my wife had just started a new job (well similar job, different company) and the discussion between us had intensified concerning getting the ball rolling in the arena of adopting a child, so thoughts about that mixed with thoughts regarding finances and jobs and schedules and all sorts of things began swirling in my head, until finally out popped the question (in my head):

"Lord, how come you're not showing me any open doors right now?"

Before you think me arrogant to ask such a thing, keep in mind that up to that point I had been "doing the right stuff" that us Christians (carnally, I should add) feel we "have to" do to keep God happy enough with us that He'll keep us informed of all the things we think we need to know.  I had been in prayer constantly regarding whether He wanted me to move on in certain areas, get more planted in others, etc., and I really felt as though I had been asking and asking and He was basically ignoring me.

So I did what we all "naturally" do (that is, in our human nature): we throw a mental temper tantrum and start pointing fingers at Him.

So yeah, great....now instead of continuing in "the good things" (and thus retaining some semblance of spiritual maturity), I'm watching myself im my mind having this 3-year-old's attempt at getting his own way.

And then the Lord totally blessed my socks off:  He said "Let Me show you something."

So in my mind, I asked the Lord to open whatever door He wanted me to walk through, and then I was looking through my own eyes at the door of a building, and it was closed.  So I asked Him again, "Lord, can you open the door for me?", to which He replied, "I already did".  Looking at the still-closed door in front of me, I was a bit perplexed, so I walked over to the door and tried to push it open -- futile, it was latched -- and then I tried the knob -- no luck there either, it was locked.

So then, in the wacko emotional state that I was in, I basically used the "nice and fluffy" way of calling Him a liar, and He said "You know I would never lie to you."  Remembering that this of course was true, I watched myself use all my tremendous problem-solving skills, concentrating all my mental acumen towards trying to figure out how the door could possibly be open (since the Lord after all HAD said that He already opened it) while it appeared to be so obviously still closed.

Seeing my apparently obvious frustration and fatigue from trying to find the round-peg solution to the square-hole problem, the Lord said "here, let me help you."  So I was again looking through my eyes at this still-closed door, and the Lord then began to lift me up, and I was more and more having to look down at the door rather than straight across at it.

I could barely see the door now, as the overhang of the front portion of the roof was blocking almost all of it.

Then the Lord put His hands of the sides of my face, and angled my head upa several degrees.  Now I could see many rooftops, and streets, and lightpoles, and city parks, and people riding their bikes and playing with their dogs.  You know, regular day-to-day life stuff.

And there, several blocks away, I saw an open door.  Between where I had been on the street and this open door, there were many left turns and right turns, a squiggly line that looked like a 4-year-old's attempt at drawing Sonic the Hedgehog.

"Wow, Lord, is that the door You were talking about?  But it's way over there!  What's up with that?!"  To which He replied: "You told me to open whatever door I wanted you to walk through, didn't you?"

"Ok Lord, you got me there.  So now what?"

"I'll nudge you left and right as you walk day to day, and when you get to the door, I'll let you know you're there so you can walk through it."

Realizing at this point it would be ridiculously pointless to ask Him to give me the "MapQuest" directions to the destination door, I made myself shut up and ponder what this fresh realization meant in my circumstances back in real-life.

It meant to walk as I already was walking, and I would have the assurance that if the Lord wanted me to turn left, He'd nudge me left, and if He wanted me to go right, He'd nudge me right.  And when I finally got to that door He opened for me to walk through, He'd make it clear that this was the door, so I could walk through it.

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The point?  We get tunnel vision, looking at only a specific door (or at best, a few specific ones) and we get disappointed or upset when we don't get any information about whether the door is supposed to open or not.  But the Lord may be answering your prayers of "open the doors, Lord" five blocks North, two blocks West, along the alley under the third carport on the right -- one of those doors where, even if it was in your hometown and you were given the address of it, you still probably wouldn't know where it was.

When we ask the Lord to open doors, He is always faithful to do so, because He wants His people to walk in the good things that He has prepared ahead of time for them to do.  So be encouraged that the door has been opened...now you just need to trust Him to give you the turn-by-turn directions daily to get you there. :)