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| The Funniest/Most Unusual Sermon Title |
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What is the funniest/most unusual sermon title you have heard? Many of you have given me great material and topics with your blogs to use in messages to my church family here in Shelby and I don't mind telling you that. Your topics get me to thinking about certain things and away I go. Sometimes I have to curtail the writing so I don't go to long on Sundays. I know we can get long winded sometimes no?
A friend wrote a blog for another site titled, "How to sleep in church without the pastor knowing." Maybe I will share sometimes? Any how, I love to laugh and have fun in the Lord. Hence this blog. A friendly reminder. I may use the title if I like it.
My number one entry and it's background text.
"The Dumbass Speaketh." (though I don't think this donkey was dumb)
22:27 And the ass saw the angel of Jehovah, and she lay down under Balaam: and Balaam's anger was kindled, and he smote the ass with his staff. 22:28 And Jehovah opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times? 22:29 And Balaam said unto the ass, Because thou hast mocked me, I would there were a sword in my hand, for now I had killed thee. 22:30 And the ass said unto Balaam, Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden all thy life long unto this day? was I ever wont to do so unto thee? and he said, Nay. 22:31 Then Jehovah opened the eyes of Balaam, and he saw the angel of Jehovah standing in the way, with his sword drawn in his hand; and he bowed his head, and fell on his face. 22:32 And the angel of Jehovah said unto him, Wherefore hast thou smitten thine ass these three times? behold, I am come forth for an adversary, because thy way is perverse before me: 22:33 and the ass saw me, and turned aside before me these three times: unless she had turned aside from me, surely now I had even slain thee, and saved her alive.
Others...
About adultery..
"You can't have your Kate and Edith too."
The tongue..
"Beware of the pink tornado!"
The swine going off the cliff..
"When pigs fly"
Some of you are goinng through some mess as we speak. I won't give all the credit to the devil but his job is to kill and destroy. In fact he is..
"Number 1 in the number 2 business."
Saw that on a septic tank business card and I believe it applies to old Satan. |
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| To add a comment to "The Funniest/Most Unusual Sermon Title" |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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L'nOL big time Jerry, those are great titles!
As long as your congregation don't think that your the Dumbass that's gonna be speaking, your ok !(just kidding, but I did think they could get it confused, but it would only add to the fun if you can handle it)
I'll ask my Pastor to add to your list, and get back with you.............still laughin ! |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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| Lovin the blog and watching for the additions! |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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Ya know Tom, I didn't think of that. They might just think I am. You made me laugh on that one. I do have fun with my congregation and there is some good natured back and forth all the time. |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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Haha!!! I love it!
I busted out laughing at the "Can't have your Kate and Edith to" and "When pigs fly" LOL |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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| I am thinking of some Jerry! I like this |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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I like those sermon titles......Our Bishop preached..."What To Do When You're Married To A Fool" and
"OOPS! Basheba's Pregnant"...on April fools day I heard a sermon titled..Who's Fool are You?
I like "Can't Have you Kate and Edith To"...I like to hear that one. (Someone I'd like to sent it to.) |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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| LOL Remarkable. Do you remember the text from "What to do when you're married to a fool." |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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| I have the video around here I will look for it this week-end. |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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| Did you say "I love football?" You are a remarkable woman!!!! |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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TickleMeElmo,
Glad you liked it! |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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YES, I love football, posted it on Evangelist Kieth's blog.
My dad had 5 girls...someone had to hang out with him.
I'm glad it was me. We had THE BALTIMORE COLTS back then.
He passed away on a Sunday after the game and it was The Ravens worst game ever
......GO RAVENS |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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Aww the Baltimore Colts.
Do the name Bert Jones, Lydell Mitchell, Ted Marchibroda ring a bell? |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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YES.....don't forget Johnny Unitas |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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ohhhhhhhhh I knew Remarkable and I were meant to be friends.....I love football!!!!!!!!
I like this post, it made me laugh and I needed that! |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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SUPERBOWL CHAMPS 1970
Gino Marchetti, Earl Morrell, Don Shula...
MEMORIAL STADIUM.....The Miracles on 33rh Street..... |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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| How could I forget Johnny U., Raymond Berry, Lenny Moore and John Mackey. And I just hate that durn lucky Jim OBrien. You see, I am a Dallas man. |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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My neighbor loves Dallas, they got this big Dallas flag hanging....they did win the other night....
GO COWBOYS |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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People after my own heart. My son is stationed near Dallas now and I am trolling for tickets. They really look out for our soldiers, as they should. Be in prayer for him sister. They may ship to Iraq the first of the year. He is really a good son and I dearly miss him. |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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Ok, I cannot like Jerry, ewwwwww Cowboys, lol.....but my husband Ken would like you, LOL
I'm a Skins fan...... |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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| The Beltway Boys....Know those Skins. |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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| Remarkable, I went to school with retired Skins player who has Superbowl rings :) |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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WOW..awesome.........Jerry see what you started :)
Now where's the rest of the fans?
Cinder....Who might that be? |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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Steve Cox. I laughed one day at his mom's house, she showed me one of the first things he bought for the first Superbowl....he bought her a full length fur coat to wear to the game, LOL, she said it was wonderful, but what was she going to do with it after the game? We live in Arkansas.....not cold enough to wear it, lol
I graduated with Steve, we called him "Bud"....there were around 60 ppl in our graduating class. Ken played high school football with him. |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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| GREAT MEMORIES |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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| THANKS JERRY FOR LETTING US US YOUR PAGE TO TALK FOOTBALL......... |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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| Now he can figure out a sermon title on women who love football, lol |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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"Women who played the game."
Hagar,Rebekah, Potiphar's, wife, Delilah, Herodias etc...
I told you, you guys would give me material! |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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| woooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! |
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| September 19, 2008 |
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Jerry I want a tape of that Sermon......Women who played the Game..(and won) smiles
I have a friend getting me the info on the sermon mentioned earlier, mine was damaged in a flood in my basement. |
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| September 20, 2008 |
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| Jerry are you looking for more material for your sermom? |
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| September 20, 2008 |
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Suuuuuure Lara!
Yes Remarkable Terry, I am looking for new material, thank you very much. Well titles that is and I can supply plenty of the body. |
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| September 20, 2008 |
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If you are just looking for titles you can use the title of a poem I once wrote, GOD Gives A Dam. The scripture about the Israelites crossing the Jordan River could be used.
.....peace..... |
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| September 20, 2008 |
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| Sweet, apureheart. Thanks. The check is in the mail. |
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| September 20, 2008 |
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A Preacher was asked to Preach a funeral of a man who was a drug dealer that
abused his wife and children. The wife asked him because she said he was the
only Preacher she knew that would tell the truth.(This is a true story). He said to
her all I want to know is do I have you're permission to teel the TRUTH she said
you got it.He gave an illustration of a peanut and how the shell was not that impotant
it was the nut that was important. The preacher then pointed at the casket and
took for a subject " The Shell Is Here But The Nut Is Gone" Man some folks was mad
but he told the truth and at that funeral he did not find a way to put that man in heaven. |
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| September 20, 2008 |
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| Sermon titles can be as funny as country music titles. |
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| September 20, 2008 |
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Preacher Elam,
You are so right. It seems every dead person makes it to heaven. Have you ever seen the Vernon James story? There is a funeral scene in there that makes me laugh so much.
2m Steve,
Yes they can, but's it all good. Do you think God has a sense of humor? He must to have dealt with the children of Israel and us today. |
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| September 20, 2008 |
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| Sure is good to giggle!! Love these sermon titles! |
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| September 20, 2008 |
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| Glad you are enjoying Coreena. It really is good to laugh and enjoy one another in Christ. |
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| September 20, 2008 |
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| I JUST ENJOYED READING THIS! GOD BLESS YOU! |
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| September 20, 2008 |
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| In his name misty. |
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| September 20, 2008 |
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| I can't wait to hear how this info. will be applied in a title. Such good material..All I can say is, I'm like Sister Vivan: "Coming out of the Wilderness!" LOL! |
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| September 20, 2008 |
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Coming Out of the Closet
Matthew 6:6 (KJV) But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
.....peace.....
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| September 20, 2008 |
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| Great blog.. |
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| September 21, 2008 |
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| Thanks KC Joe. |
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| September 25, 2008 |
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| Very funny stuff, thanks for the smiles! |
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| September 30, 2008 |
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Steve, your Tennessee blog made me think of one. "A Christian with climbing gear." (Zaccheus) |
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