The following scripture is one of the few reasons that I am about to blog about myself asking for some serious prayers from you all.

My sin, in this case, is having too much pride to really talk about my inner hurts. After all, I am a pastor, am I not, and pastors are supposed to be perfect all of the time and helping others 24/7, right? There are some that would think that way but I know for a fact that my previous sentence couldn't be further from the truth. Here is why:

1. Pastors are humans with sin like everyone else.
2. Pastors need a break in their work just like everyone else.
3. Pastors need your prayers just as much as everyone else.

The last time I picked up my direct hotline telephone to God, I got the same pre-recorded message that I always get.

"We're sorry, your call did not go through. Please step out of the phone booth and get on your face before Almighty God. You have no special "toll-free" calling card and you must labor like everyone else. Furthermore, you will be judged at a higher standard since you tell Me that you want to be a shepherd of My flock. Have a great day!"

That may sound a bit funny but it is very serious and I do not take things lightly when somebody asks for help, prayers, whatever.

My Teacher taught me what it means to go after that single lost sheep. And it is not easy. It may mean walking for days with very little food through all types of bad weather. It may take you through the most dirty of places and it may take every ounce of energy you've got. But just when you think your human body has nothing else to give; there is the lost one right before your very eyes. I feel so guilty when I think that I almost stopped a ways back because I thought there was nothing left for me to give. But then I remember, I don't see things the way God sees things. I can only see to the horizon but God see through eternity.

The "big picture" always helps when making important decisions. Good planners take in as much information as they can about whatever they are going to do. To overlook the fact that there is unstable soil where you want to put the foundation of your house can lead to problems later. You want to do anything in your power to avoid that oops! :eek: The Holy Bible is the best instruction manual that there is for building a solid life. And life is all about a solid foundation. And Jesus Christ is the best Rock to build any foundation on.

I say all of that because I know where I am headed beyond a shadow of a doubt. I stand firmly on His Word and literally believe everything He said. And when I die, I really hope that you all will have a celebration party for me! I'll miss many of you folks and will be looking forward to seeing my brothers and sisters in Christ again some day in the future! There is so much to look forward to!

Now, no pity parties! You have to promise me this! Again, no pity parties for me! I am at peace with everything and lately God has been increasing my ministry in amazing proportions. And though I am dying a slow death of neuromuscular decay, I have great hope for my future days here on Earth. If you have read my profile, you probably already knew that. And if you have visited my website, you probably learned more about me. And if you did enough "drilling" at my website, you probably found my story about MELAS.

MELAS (Mitochondrial myopathy, Encephalopathy, Lactic Acidosis, with Stroke-like episodes. If that sounds like a mess, it is. Most doctors have never heard of it. But remember, I don't want to have a pity party! And by the way, my first dog, Mito, is named after Mitochondrial for a good reason but I don't want to discuss that here. And my newest dog, Mel, was named by my grandchildren after MELAS, again for a good reason. I'll talk about my dogs' names in a future blog. It will be long but is an amazing story of love, strength and the fight against evil.

If you have made it this far with me, I know without any doubt that I can count on your prayers without feeling sorry for me. I am 51 years old, and my rare genetic disorder is only passed on through a mother's genes (maternal inheiritance). And most everyone on my mother's side of the family died in their mid-50's. They also died prior to 1988 when MELAS was identified so we have no real proof as to the cause of their deaths but I would not wonder too much based on what I am going through now. The few doctors that know what MELAS stands for are just now starting to collect enough data to begin a search for the cure. After all, 1988 was only 19 years ago. It takes a very long time to understand diseases; their cause, their effects and their "enemy" known as "The Cure."

This past Monday, I flunked a bunch of my routine, every 3 months, medical tests.

The oxygen level in my blood was low. Yes, I used to be a smoker up until about 15 years ago so I am sure that fact is not helping me at all right now. More importantly, MELAS affects every muscle in my body and that includes the diaphram that allows us to breathe. And yes, a ventilator might be in my future. But that is not my immediate concern because the eyes also work with muscles and I my vision is getting poorer. Did I mention that I am losing my hearing and am now learning American Sign Language (ASL)? Oh yes, I have very poor short term memory so that is not helping me learn the signs; much less even remembering what was taught in class when reviewing my sloppy handwritten notes (writing is controlled by muscles - beginning to get the picture? LOL). Notes "jog" the memory which is something that is not up to par for me. I am also starting to use an electric wheelchair (powerchair) because in my manual chair, even on flat surfaces, I get tired and sore in the arms very rapidly. That is due to a buildup of of lactic acid in the muscle tissue. Just like you would get when outside chopping up wood and then you are sore for the next few days. With me, just walking a few steps causes pain in my leg muscles. Like I said, MELAS is a mess. Oh yes, the heart is a muscle too and is also affected. Let's not go there today. :eek: LOL

Remember now, NO PITY PARTIES for me! I am not going to have one myself because I know that my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is my everything and where I am right now, I have been able to minister to people that I have not been able to reach in the past. I've been there and done that more times than I have time to tell you. I also know that God is not "mad" at me and that all of the pain that I suffer is from that sly little serpent that has been causing grief on this Earth for a long time. But his time is very short and he has a lot to worry about when faced with accepting his destiny. My time might be short as well but I have a lot to look forward to. It is all about accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

The latest thing to "go wrong" with my body is my diabetes, which I have had for over 10 years, has gone out of control again. Pills and diet are no longer yielding good results. So as of last Monday, I have begun using insulin by injection.

Now don't read this incorrectly with a bunch of your own man-made assumptions! I am not planning on "checking out" anytime soon. Actually, I plan on making medical history by living a long life to prove that only the Great Physician knows when it is "my time" and the doctors don't always get it right. Besides, those doctors have not even found a treatment for MELAS to slow its progression in my body; much less a cure! Silly doctors! How complicated can this be? LOL

So here is my request...

Just hold me up in prayer. God has everything under control. I just need the wisdom and knowledge to hear His voice to efficiently focus on what He has yet for me to do. Pray that I make no stupid decisions that would take me off course from His Will for my life. Pray for a clear mind to help me help not only myself but others as well. That is my ministry that He has so graciously placed me in. I know what it is like to be "terminally ill" but I also know He whom has the final say in things. There are many hurting out there like me that do not know Jesus. Many of you healthy folks have not been able to reach them. God assigns some of us to difficult tasks only because that is the only way to reach some. Wearing somebody else's shoes is an awesome responsibility but it allows you to fully relate to them. And sometimes, that is the only way by God's perfect Plan. TYJ!

Thank you and God bless you!

Dave