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| Jesus and the Monster in My Mirror |
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I had a conversation with God recently I wanted to share.
As a believer who struggles with sexual addiction (specifically internet porn), I also struggle with self image a lot. The biggest struggle with my self image is I tend to see myself as some sort of monster because of my addiction. I've been through some things recently that reinforced this. Some sisters in Christ I met on a Christian dating site seemed to be seeing me that way as well.
I was pretty depressed about this recently. I don't know what prompted me to question God about this, but I ask Jesus, "Do you think I'm a monster?"
In my heart, I heard God's still, small voice saying "I love monsters!" I didn't get the sense He was saying I was a monster. He was using how I looked at myself to reconnect with me, and to remind me the priority is His love for me.
I love that about God. He just side stepped the issue entirely to let me know He loves me. As I'm typing this, I just remembered I asked Him to go out of His way to reassure me of His love for me.
Does God see me as a monster? I think there are two answers to that:
From God's perspective, no one is a monster in Jesus.
From our perspective, if one of us is a monster, we all are.
I'm very grateful God is leading me to get rid of my Monster Vision.
God Bless! |
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| To add a comment to "Jesus and the Monster in My Mirror" |
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| October 18, 2008 |
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| Amen Bro. |
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| October 18, 2008 |
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Great blog :)
I think one of the reasons it’s so hard to grasp Christ’s forgiveness is because, as children we were raised with the concept that when you did something wrong, there was always a repercussion for the error. But when Jesus simply forgives us and it‘s just his amazing grace, we’re still waiting on the repercussion and when there isn’t one we(mentally) create our own.
One of my favorite quotes.
John Newton, "My memory is nearly gone, but I remember two things, that I am a great sinner, and that Christ is a great Saviour."
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| October 19, 2008 |
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Sexual sins, axe murder,liar,thought life in the pits,bad attitude, aren't you glad that to God all sins are the same.It's us who think we are monsters b/c we've commited what humans deem "BIG" sins.You are right there are no monsters in Christ.God met you where you thought you were,showing you His love and His great sense of humor when HE said I love monsters.Great blog Jess. |
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| October 19, 2008 |
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6:14 For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.
Jess, I still struggle with verses like this one, b/c there are certainly parts of my "old man" that I continue to struggle with. Perhaps the only reason it seems sin occasionally has dominion over us is b/c in our minds we are still under law? About a year ago I came to a life-changing realization. It dawned on me, as I meditated on certain scriptures, just how free we really are. We are so free that few of us actually realize just how free we are. For me, this was so motivating!! So much more motivating than the thought that God somehow expects me to apologize or make restitution for each and every bad thing I do!
I hope this encourages you, somehow. With God, there are no monsters. Just certain people who are more stubborn than others. |
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| October 19, 2008 |
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Thanks Doyle. I'm glad we agree. It's helpful to know I'm not alone =D
Thanks Jordan. I agree we don't fully accept God's forgiveness.
Thanks RacunPoodle. I was thinking about how all sins are the same to God one day. I realized worth is directly associated with cost. All sin, even what we consider "small" cost Christ's life on the cross. It makes a lot of sense to me that God sees all sin the same, because He had to pay the same price for each one.
Thanks Mike. Thanks for wanting to encourage me. I've been preaching at myself for years, and it hasn't changed me. When people preach at me it doesn't really help (in fact, I spent years patting myself on the back for "helping" people by preaching at them but never really getting to know them or becoming involved with them before God taught me to actually care for them). Connecting with God helps, and that was He and I were doing.
Thanks Mike n Laura. Don't forget in Romans 7, Paul says he can't control is coveting. Then in Romans 8 he says "but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live." Even Paul said it was a process. I'm in the process of God cleaning out my soul of things like my "Monster Vision". I gave you all a peek. It's one thing to be given freedom, it's another thing to be walking in that freedom. In my opinion, Paul made it very clear that walking in freedom if a process of putting to death the deeds of the flesh. I think Paul is saying we are absolutely free in Christ, and that we must learn to rely on God to teach us how to walk in freedom. |
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| October 21, 2008 |
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| Amen Jess. I know how you feel . Thanks for sharing. |
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| October 22, 2008 |
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Howdy Dennis. You are welcome =D I'm glad it was helpful. |
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| November 06, 2008 |
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| Wow, Jess--I haven't been on here in a long time and I just looked up this blog and you really encouraged me. I believe every man who has warm blood and testosterone flowing through his veins (believer or not) struggles with porn in some way. Maybe not internet, movies, or magazines--but his own imagination. I'm a 41 year old Christian woman, and I struggle with my imagination all the time. I constantly have to turn to the Lord to help me guard my mind and heart in this area. God bless you, brother for your openess and honesty here. |
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| January 06, 2009 |
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Thanks Suzanne, both for your response and your openess. Someone should start a blog where gals can ask guys about this issue... |
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| February 01, 2009 |
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Thanks Cheryl. I agree, there are no Monsters in Jesus!
Oh, BTW, I think I'm already set up there |
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| February 01, 2009 |
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| I didn't see you, I'll look again, I am getting old you know!!! LOL!!! |
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| February 01, 2009 |
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| Hm... I'm turning 43 this month, so you have nothing to say... |
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| February 01, 2009 |
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I can say...YOU are OLDER!!! LOL!!!!
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| February 01, 2009 |
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| XP (BTW that's me sticking my tongue out and closing my eyes really tight...) |
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| February 01, 2009 |
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| LOL!! I'll have to get my bifocals bro~ Be back!!!!!! LOL!!! |
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| March 06, 2009 |
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| Awesome blog! (reminds me of Jars of Clay's album Good Monsters) I really appreciate and identify with that whole "looking in the mirror" thing -- I find myself often asking, "God, why in the world do You put up with me?" The answer He gave you, "I love monsters!" both makes me smile and totally gives me peaceful relief! No wonder I love that book, "Where the Wild Things Are" so much. :) I think God must love it when we realize how unholy and undeserving we are -- and how amazingly Wonderful and Holy He is! :) :) :) |
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