“Top 10” places I have regretfully entertained to meet someone:

1) Church.

Could be a great place, I guess I understand why he felt a tad bit uncomfortable to approach and discuss how he would like to take me on a date… considering my Mom and Dad are watching.

2) Coffee Pubs.

Now, I am an addict.

3) Local Park.

Nice stroll checked out the dogs and their “Masters”.

Inevitable I step in dog poop and broke out in a rash from the grass. But, their dog liked me ;)

4) Restaurant.

Dinner, I over hear the couple next to me whisper, how brave, she is by herself. At this point they WONT STOP LOOKING at me, SO, I smile at them. They use the smile as a door of invitation. In pity, they strike up a conversation; they are going to help me in my supposed state of loneliness. They offer to call Jerald, their attractive single friend that just happens to be home on Friday night..?... We all know the end of this story. Pen Protectors ring a bell?

NOTE: HEADLINE; next day in the Newspaper, woman (me) swallows her knife in a local restaurant: see page 14b

5) Market.

My favorite place in the universe! NOW, I know why it is also called a Meat Market!...I crack myself up!!lol

6) Local Bar Scene.

How many times does Bob have to introduce himself for the first time?

7) Dance Club.

How nice, I spend 4 hours getting ready for this event, to look HOT and dance with a complete stranger?

The music begins; I sweat, 100 dollars in makeup melting down my face, I am approached by someone so bombed, they vomit on the floor next to me. Even if he is saying something interesting, can I hear him? NO, because I now have permanent damage to my ear drums because the music is so loud!

Being the lady I am, I just smile, re-apply more lipstick, wipe the vomit off the NEW $220.00 shoes (now ruined) repeating in my mind “It’s not HOT and I am NOT here!”

OHHHHH I feel pretty, OH, SO Pretty… Sing with me now……

8) Day at the Beach.

Half naked, wet, sand up my you know where, not to mention sun burnt and injury from holding my stomach in all day!

9) Emergency Room.

Trying to make the best out of this situation, I ask the “single” man next to me why are you here? He replies: I have a large lump.

I say: what is it?

He replies: the doctors don’t know!

I say: NO further questions.

10) Place of my employment.

From no where he approaches, handsome, eloquent, NO RING ON HIS FINGER!.Single!?!.

NO, Married Electrician.