Ok, so I meant to write about this last night, but ... I didn't ... I don't remember why.

Anyways, yesterday was pretty good.  I got to minister to several people during the day, I got to spend some time discipling a new believer, and I spent a few hours with my beautiful wife before we both had to go to work.  All around, it was shaping up awesomely -- and I must admit, I have been spoiled to have this be the "average" day for the last few months.

Sounds great, right? It was. :P   Then I went to work.

I work "in the world" (at a leading worldwide plumbing supply company), and I've been trying to consistently walk a good witness, for obvious reasons.  I usually pray for opportunities and open doors, as I'm sure many of you do as well.  So I've been there a few hours, and my mind is focused on the batch of order labels I just picked up, when in the course of "half-minded small talk" a friend of mine there says something to the effect of "there's nothing like living life with Jesus, huh?" -- only it didn't really register in my head, since I was concentrating elsewhere.

A few minutes later, I was thinking back in my head to try and remember what it was he said to me last -- because I never responded to him -- and that's when I realized it.  Oh, man...the doors don't get much more open than that.  "Forgive me Lord...keep the door open until I get back to him."  Next I see him, he's venting some frustrations about an order he's picking .... I guess I'll have to wait till later.

So a little time goes by, and the Lord opens up a different door with another person I'm not all that familiar with...in the initial shock of being presented two open doors in the same night, I start thinking too much, and before I can turn back to the guy to respond, he's already motored off.  "Lord, forgive me again...I'm not doing too great for You tonight."  I spend hours mentally assessing the situations, reorganizing my approach paradigms, in short just really thinking too much.

A bit later, I come across the first guy again.  I think of how to bring the subject up again without sounding like a total dork, and my mind overrules my heart, and I chicken out...totally uncool, totally shameful....totally a failure.

I spent the rest of the night at work totally defeated.

When work lets out, I go to my car, praying the whole time, and my mind wanders to Peter that eventful night...Peter denied the Lord outright, which I had not done, but my heart is quick to condemn me, reminding me that I "might as well have"...Again I pray to the Lord, asking Him for mercy and grace.  He comforts me, but I still don't feel much better about my actions -- or lack thereof.

Any one of us in any given day can bring light and life into the world of another, and in the same day leave another empty and without illumination.  I always used to teach my kids "don't think too much...just be ready ahead of time, not with a pre-set speech, but with a reply to whatever t comes up about Jesus...if you think too much, you'll freeze, and end up missing your opportunity."  Great way to practice what you preach, teach.  :\  Prayerfully next time, I'll do better.