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| Love and Marriage |
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Through the help of The Holy Spirit and careful study of Gods' Word, I set out to Love everyone like the bible says. I continually perfect being patient and kind; never envious nor jealous, not boastful or vainglorious, not haughty, not conceited or rude or act unbecomingly.
My dealing with people is such, now, that I do not insist on my own rights or my own way, for I am not self-seeking; or touchy or fretful or resentful; I no longer account for a suffered wrong. And I do not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, instead, I rejoice when right and truth prevail.
Now, my Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. It never fails.... Right?...
WRONG!..., it does... I mean, it has failed in many different ways. Some of my mistakes are a bit more complicated than others. Here, I want to share one area that God has shown me about "marriage".
Once in a while, in my honest attempt to love others, I felt that I had fallen in Love with a person at some point. I hear myself asking God, "Is she the one"? But, this "falling in love" seems to have nothing to do with love at all.
The Holy Spirit showed me recently, that the moment I entertain thoughts of marriage, I am saying something to God that I was never aware of before. Besides the fact that I am really being self serving again, I am also telling God that I no longer trust him. I am saying to God, "I have decided that I have a better plan". Or, I have decided that whatever He had planned for this person "I say that I really Love", I have a better plan.
In a true effort to love this person, helping them, inspiring them, through Christ,... somehow, somewhere along the way I have fallen OUT of real love and into error.
Agape love is a relationship that demands a kind of freedom that is impossible when we are set on our own needs and desires. It requires a love that isn't concerned with the fulfillment of our own ends.
It requires Trusting in and Relying upon God to fulfill those needs. This means that I remain open to experience everything that HE wants for me. While marriage seems to be His gift for some, it may not be all He has planned for me.
The truth is, if I had kept my focus on REAL Love, I would want my fried to experience all that God has planned for her life.
If we can trust God and are looking to Him for our happiness, then we can pray wholeheartedly for our friend's happiness, trusting that God is going to fulfill all our needs and not necessarily all our wants.
With this "proper" approach to love, we can truly say, "I love you, and there are no strings. I just want to be supportive of you in whatever way you and the Lord want me to.
This is agape love. There is only one aspiration that is necessary for a Christian to have, and that is: to know Christ, to abide in Him. It is not Christ plus knowledge of the Bible, or fellowship, or spiritual gifts, or victory over sin.
These things are benefits of a relationship, and they gifts to those who abide, who continually dwell in Christ. Marriage is also a gift, and I believe it will come to you just as a gift and not something that you and I initiate or work out on our own.
In fact, it will the only thing you have left between you and your friend to do to glorify God,... "the most important Love, that you both share".
On the subject of marriage, the disciples said to Him, If the case of a man with his wife is like this, it is neither profitable nor advisable to marry.
I love you.
I leave you with Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary concerning Mat 19:3-12
The Pharisees were desirous of drawing something from Jesus which they might represent as contrary to the law of Moses. Cases about marriage have been numerous, and sometimes perplexed; made so, not by the law of God, but by the lusts and follies of men; and often people fix what they will do, before they ask for advice. Jesus replied by asking whether they had not read the account of the creation, and the first example of marriage; thus pointing out that every departure therefrom was wrong. That condition is best for us, and to be chosen and kept to accordingly, which is best for our souls, and tends most to prepare us for, and preserve us to, the kingdom of heaven. When the gospel is really embraced, it makes men kind relatives and faithful friends; it teaches them to bear the burdens, and to bear with the infirmities of those with whom they are connected, to consider their peace and happiness more than their own. As to ungodly persons, it is proper that they should be restrained by laws, from breaking the peace of society. And we learn that the married state should be entered upon with great seriousness and earnest prayer.
Weymouth New Testament Commentary for this same passage.
There are men who from their birth have been disabled from marriage, others who have been so disabled by men, and others who have disabled themselves for the sake of the Kingdom of the Heavens. He who is able to receive this, let him receive it." |
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