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| A Thought on Spiritual Love and Dating |
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As a single, young woman. This is something on my mind a lot. Feminists may get mad at me, but I know God made me for marriage. For the longest time, I got that mixed up in my identity and spirituality. I long for a husband, but that doesn't mean I need one for my validation as a person.
With my past sins, I didn't feel worthy of any Christian guy I currently know, so I started trying to put God as my husband- a kind of "shoot for the stars, because even if you miss, you'll land on the moon," type thing. This is a very hard thing to do- to treat God as your husband, your partner, in more than just spiritual. That includes spending time with Him, and sharing finances, and other things. My relationship with Him has gotten quite intimate (not sexual, none of this is sexual), but I still can't help trying to look for my husband.
I finally was able to lay it down for God to take, when boom! I was hit with a huge amount of temptation. With His help, I've been resisting, but it isn't easy. I realized the other day, that this is a test- to see if I really mean my commitment this time, to let God choose my husband, and to trust Him as my husband until He does bring me to one.
This temptation has brought into sharp contrast some crushes I was having on various brothers in Christ. I know now that what I admired in these young men were Godly attributes, and I was attracted to God in them. Just knowing that has helped me resist temptation so I can wait for the good Godly relationship with one of my brothers in Christ someday.
I'm excited to try dating the way my church lays out, but I know I'm going to have to wait for God to move first, not me. Dating in our church means furthering each other in Christ, not getting to know each other. The focus is on God, not each other. This way there is no hurt, or jealousy or anything like that. I really think it's going to work, and I want to try, but I have to wait.
If anyone wants to know more on my church's views on dating, I'll do a whole blog on them.
All for His Glory,
SB |
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| To add a comment to "A Thought on Spiritual Love and Dating" |
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| November 12, 2008 |
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SB, Thanks for sharing your story...you have it right; seek His Kingdom (righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit) first and find your fulfillment in Him right where you are! As you find contentment in Him only then is it really safe for Him to give you one of His sons and for Him to give one of His sons his daughter (you). I'm a man of course but I didn't get married until I was 34 years old and had been a Christian since I was 25. I've know quite a few sisters in the Lord who got into trouble because they started thinking things like "I just have to have a husband!." Even as a man I was occasionally tormented by thoughts about having a wife and everything that went with it. Now I know that all that is just a temptation like you said. So I encourage you to keep your mind set on the things above where your life is hidden with Christ in God...and always follow the peace. Just have Christian brothers and sisters and when the time is right Father will surprise you! But by then you will have learned to be content in whatever circumstances you find yourself and you'll then be ready for the adventure of marriage which has it own set of unique temptations and trials (like submission and a man loving his wife like Christ loves the Church! Try doing that without it actually being Him doing it through you!). I can say from a man's perspective that marriage is not the answer for overcoming sexual temptation! Romans 6 is! So keep looking up daughter--I can call you that since I have a son the same age as you in the Marines! LOL! Blessings!
Craig |
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| November 13, 2008 |
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| Thanks alot, Brother! That was a very encouraging word. I mean it. Marriage is something I really think to much about. The fact is, right now that door is closed for me. (but not necessarily locked.) The authorities in my life agree that my full concentration should be on God, and doing His will in my college classes, not looking for a mate.
As for any dreams of the future, I've been day dreaming about all the women God could lead to Himself through me, in Japan, instead of guys. My love and involvement for ministry has grown. I didn't used to think I should be in ministry because I was to much of a sinner, and didn't know enough about God. I know now, tha we can never know "enough" about God, and our testimonies are one of the strongest weapons in our arsenal.
Thanks, again Chris,and I'll pray for your son. I dated a Marine once, so I know He needs it, especially if He's been to, is in, or going to Iraq. Veterans break my heart. |
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| November 13, 2008 |
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| You have it right, Precious. Keep your focus on Christ, trusting that He has His Focus on You. Great Post. |
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