Bless you Penny! Our walk is a walk of faith. None of us are exempt, not even those that do work a regular job with a "steady" paycheck or those who perhaps have inherited a large sum. I know what you mean about having to fight off fear, that's something that tries to come on us too, and we have to stand on God's promises that He is more than able and shall supply!
The devil wants to send fear because it has two main effects: 1, it stops us from moving forward, and 2 it stops us from speaking. We need to have faith plus works, our faith expressed by the things that we say and the things that we do. So when you are giving to the work in Africa or anywhere else (your church for example) the first thing that will come to mind is a thought, or more like a mental picture, of you not having enough...not making the bills this month, not having gas, or food...Those thoughts come to make you hesitate..."wait a minute", you might think "did God really tell me to give that, or was that just me?"
But we learn as we go that God has never failed us and never will. Just look back at the many victories in your life! We are to forget the things that are behind, but that does not mean the things that God did nor what we gained in the process. There are stones piled up as reminders to this day (reference Joshua after the crossing of the Jordan). We draw upon those things of the past to give us hope for the future (hope is an anchor of the soul). When we remember what God has done, then we can rest knowing what He will do! Then, praise Him for what He has done, and praise Him in faith for what He will do! Shout to your mountain, speak and proclaim boldly in the face of the devil what God will do for you, based upon His word. Keep taking your steps of faith, keep speaking words of faith, the whole time "looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith". Read Psalm 121.
The good thing is that the tests, while never ceasing, do seem to get progressivly easier...or perhaps it's that we've gotten progressively stronger:) As your faith grows, the things that used to worry you don't so much any more. What used to take you days praying now gets done in an hour, or less. Then you can go and help someone else, encourage them, pray for them. I'm definitely encouraged by your words and do so much thank you for your prayers! Keep the faith!
Adam |