I have been reading a book called Freedom from the Performance Trap by David Seamands.  In it he makes this statement:

Today, many Christians have a sound biblical doctring of grace to which they give full mental assent.  It is a truth they believe about God, but it is not their gut-level basis of living with God, themselves, and others.  It is doctrinal but not relational; it is believed in but not lived out.                                              (emphasis in orginal)

I find that distinction to be very true.  We know in our heads that we are God's children, but in our GUT many of us still count our position with God as being dependent on our living up to God's moral standards.

When I think about this in terms of my own kids, I see the problem with such GUT reactions.  My child is still my child no matter how frustrated or pleased I am with their behavior.  The very idea that I would somehow disown them is unthinkable.  Of course the very idea that I would just leave them to live however they want without training, correction, & discipline is just as unthinkable.  I have a very clear set of moral standards that I expect them to live up to.  And as long as they remain under my control, I will do everything in my power to help them understand those standards, approve those standards, and follow those standards.

I think at the gut level, I tend to interpret God's training and discipline in my life as REJECTION and his blessings as LOVE/ACCEPTANCE.  So in some way even though I know (in my head) grace, what I end up with is a gut feeling that God loves/accepts me only as long as I do what is right.

And so I sometimes do the right thing to gain God's love, when in reality I have God's love.  I should be doing the right thing out of thankfulness and gratitude for the fact that God loves me without condition! 

For the past 13 years, I have been slowly learning about grace in a relationship way.  I am God's child and he loves me.  Period.  He has a set of standards that he calls me to live by and it is important that I as his child recognize that he will train, encourage, and discipline me in order to get me to understand, approve, and live by those standards.  But my relationship with my Father is not based on those standards.  It is based on His love and His Grace!