***note to self, invent bullet-proof (or flaming arrow-proof) blogosphere***

I would like to preface this commentary with the statement that ALL have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God. There is no such thing as a human perfect parent. Only God the Father is a perfect parent, and we should follow His direction in parenting our own children.

This is a subject that has been on my mind for many years, and I after prayerful consideration, have finally decided to write down some of my mental musings.

1. Parenting is a personal journey for both the individual and the couple.

Prior to becoming a parent, I had lots of theoretical parenting expertise. I even felt it necessary to point out or "gently" advise anyone making mistakes with their children. Let's see... I had lots of personal experience with my own parents, was a nursery worker at church, and had done my share of babysitting unruly children. I didn't feel that I was lacking knowledge in any way when giving out these parenting pointers or stating the obvious mistakes these parents were making.

Until I had my own children, I really didn't know what in the world I was talking about. While I had what I thought was intellectual objectivity, I have come to realize that parenting is done in love, spiritually, emotionally and subjectively.  A parent's love is unique. There is no equal in the love for a niece, nephew, cousin, a friend's child etc. Each child is different, and responds to guidance, discipline and correction in an unique way. Especially after parenting for almost 18 years, I am aware that it is not my place to criticize any Christian parent that seeks God's help in raising their children and is doing the best they know how. 

In observation of non-Christian parents, one must pray they will come to know and accept Jesus as Lord of their life. People who parent without Christ will not have the same goals in life for their children as Christian parents. Unselfish secular parents tend to want to bring up well educated, responsible, contributing citizens of the world. Sadly, many parents (reproducers), don't consider the children at all, and are more concerned with their own selfish desires.

For me and my husband, we desire to bring up our children with a love for Jesus, a hunger for the Word of God, and ultimately, that they will be equipped to handle living in this fallen world with the full armor of God as their protection, no matter what path they choose.

These days, with personal experience as my education, I try my best to only offer help or advice when asked for it.  I will speak up, however, if  I witness any abuse or neglect of children.


2. Parenting is a personal journey PART B

Ouch. Remember that old saying, what goes around comes around? Yes, I wrote quite a bit about criticisms or judgements because beside giving out unwanted and unsolicited advice prior to having any true parenting expertise, I have also been the recipient of such "well-meaning" advice. Not only that, but some of the very words that had come out of my mouth came right back to me with added conviction. (child on a leash? yeah, that's an entire blog in itself!)  I'm quite sure there are words still floating out there that will continue to haunt me for years to come.

I am convinced that continued diligence in the study of God's Word and prayer will help me be gracious and compassionate in dealing with the harsh criticisms that are casually flung my way by non-parents and parents alike. I have been given an understanding of my own foolish "theoretical parenting expertise" that I had prior to become an actual parent. This enables me to handle these difficult experiences with loving kindness (at least that is my intention). Most of the time.

When that has not been the case, my Heavenly Father is quick to point out to me that if I am not faithful in prayer and the study of His Word, it is harder for me to deal with the situation in a manner that honors Him.  As a police officer wears a bullet-proof vest for protection, I must surround my heart with the protection of God's Word. It makes is much easier to not take such judgements personally!  

In pondering the ironies of life, I love the fact that God has a wonderful sense of humor. It may not be funny at the time but in hindsight I often laugh at myself.
 

3. Parenting takes baby steps.

As a parent of almost 18 years, I have and will continue to take baby steps.

It's a sort of on-the-job training that takes place.  No matter how many parenting classes one takes or child rearing books one reads, it's the actual birth and explosion of parental love that comes forth at that moment that defines you as a parent. Mother's that have carried the child in the womb for 9 months have an advantage here over fathers. They have fallen in love with the baby already (and I'm sure father's would say they love their unborn child as well, but it's different when you have life developing inside of you).  At any rate, for me personally, it's hard to explain the magnitude of the feeling I had at meeting each of my children once they entered this world.

So there is this incredible love. In indescribable feeling of wanting to make sure everything is done right. Protection is paramount. Meeting the daily needs of an infant is overwhelming for one who is making the journey for the first time. How do you know when they're hungry? How do you know if they're wet? How do you know if they're happy? Are we doing it right? Then when you get into that groove, they start something new. Rolling over, sitting up, teething, crawling, walking, talking, playing, running, reading, learning, and so on.

Stages of life. Once on stage is mastered through the art of the baby step method, another stage surprises you. If we had all of the stages at once, we would not succeed as parents. Parents of teens have gotten where they are through the on-the-job training since infanthood. God in His Infinite Wisdom created human beings to be born as infants. He knew what He was doing!

4. Successful parenting takes teamwork!

Well, if you've actually made it this far (or just skimmed your way down here), congratulations! Your journey through my muddled mind is almost over.  The final comments I have for today on this subject are as follows:

Parents need to work together as a team.  Whether a couple or single parent, God is our team leader. He is the final authority in our parenting strategies. Without God, one cannot expect success in parenting.

Lastly, parenting should be done only by parents. There are what I call "enrichments" to the child. Kind and caring people that come into children's lives through family relationships or outside influences. These include, but are not limited to: Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Teachers, Pastors, Camp Counselors, Neighbors and Friends.  These people are not parents. These people are free to impart love and wisdom, but they are not raising the child to adulthood. They do not have parental rights or responsibilities. I just felt it important to make this distinction. 

***the preceding statements were the personal opinions of the writer, whose authority as a parent was bestowed upon her by her Heavenly Father through His gift of childbearing & rearing**