"Love's Opposite is Self"

Hypothetical Situation:

Today has been a hectic day. The kids are keeping me rushed, work has me overloaded, husband needs my time, supper to cook, not to mention allllllllll the things I'm involved in at church.... Calgon, take me away.

This morning, driving to work, I saw a man with a sign "Will work for food", I don't have time to stop, I'm late for work, if I stop to help him with food, then I might not have a job to put food on my table.

I get to work. Oh dear Lord, not another whiny office day. You see, there's an old woman who complains everyday about her illness. Ok, granted, she does have a handicap, but I'm so tired of hearing her sob story. Let her come home with me and deal with my kids, then she'll have something to complain about, at least it's quiet at her home. No husband, he passed away, so she doesn't have to give him time anymore. No kids yelling "Mom!" She can relax!

Lunch break comes, thank you Lord! Then I get a call.......sheeeeeshhhhhhh, it's a friend, she's frantic, her world is falling apart. Take it to the Lord, dear, take it to the Lord! I'm working, I can't help you now and it's a long drive and I only have 30 minutes on the phone to fix your life......can't be done. Yeah, I'll pray for you, when I find the time. Sorry that life sucks right now, sorry, gotta go, lunch is over. Lord, she knows my plate is full, why does she call me during my lunch?

Day is done at work, again, Thank you Lord!!!! I've got so much to do at home...carry me through it Lord. Going to sleep, I smile. Lord, I got so much done today for you, so much and I even read your word, I'm learning to quote scriptures left and right, thank you! And I fall asleep.

Dreaming now........

I have made it to Heaven. It's beautiful!!!! Just as I had always heard, only better. Wait, there's that man who had the sign!!!! His clothes aren't tattered, he smells good, and he's fat. I hug him and smile......then God is beside us. He says " Why are you smiling?" I quietly answer " Because I saw this man, and he's no longer begging" God says, "No thanks to you, you passed him by, you were busy." My smile was quickly gone.

I walk away and run into the lady I worked with. She's got a new body and she's with her husband. Her voice is beautiful now. I laugh and reach to hug her. God stops me and says " What are you doing? You had nothing but contempt for this woman, you couldn't see beyond yourself to feel her pain, nor her loss!" I hang my head.

Then I'm brought out of this shame! It's my friend!!! Geee, I never heard from her after that lunch call. She is so happy now. I go to her, arms open wide. She looks away, not seeing me. God speaks again, " It's been a long time since you saw her. Right?" I reply "Yes". God tells me what happened that day. She called because I had been interested in her life. Her husband had left her, she had no family, all she felt she had was me. I didn't hear from her again, because she passed away. God says," You started running the race with her, then you dropped out due to not enough time, she had no one except you at the time" "I brought her home.".

End of dream....or nightmare.

The opposite of love isn't hate or doesn't have to be. The opposite of God's love is self love. We pour ourselves into our family, our jobs, our own lives, and our churches to the point we're overloaded with stuff. I've been guilty many times. I used to feel that to show God's love meant work, work, working in church. To the point it became sin. It was selfish, it made me feel good, but it didn't do much for others. I dug into my Bible. Don't get me wrong, we need to be in the Word, but I dug so deep, I didn't have time to apply it. It was for self. There are days I've been overwhelmed, to much to do. But, who placed all that on me? I did. And then there are so many people to reach, I'm not Superwoman. God didn't ask me to reach and fix everyone. That's putting myself way up on a pedestal. He does tell me to agape love. And He places those people in my corner of this world. It's not my job to fix them, it's my job to love them, He does the fixing.

Long before I became a Christian, I learned from my parents that this world is only a practice field, a preparation place for my eternal home. I pray that I'm practicing agape love, not self love. I pray that the dream in this blog will not be what I see and hear when I go home.