My spiritual walk has been highly blessed. Very shortly after receiving Jesus into my heart the Lord blessed me with grace to operate in spiritual gifts and have a personal relationship with Him. This relationship and gifts stirred in me a profound hunger to know and serve God. I was so hungry I couldn’t be satisfied no matter how many books I read, no matter how many pod casts I listen to, or no matter how many DVD teaching sets I saw. Each one seemed to stir me even more and more.

Then one night a few of us stayed late after a prayer meeting. As I sat their surrounded by the love and peace of Christ, I cried out to Jesus asking “what can I do to pay you back for all this love you have given me.” Then I clearly heard His voice, “love others as I have loved you,” before I began weeping in His Holy Presence.

Since then, I have always put loving others as a key priority just under loving and serving Him. Well, at least I thought I did…

As time went on I realized how difficult it was to love. Sometimes I think I actually mistook being kind and polite as love and I had no problem being kind and polite to those who were kind and polite to me but as soon I would encounter someone who wasn’t willing to reciprocate, love became less and less of a priority.

I didn’t have time for loving others. Lessons weren’t going to write themselves and prayers weren’t going to pray themselves so someone had to do them. Besides, I love Jesus and sitting in His love and presence is all I needed to know of love, right? Wrong!

The more I sat in the His presence the more I understood love and the more I tried to love. Until of course, someone was too difficult to love, then my attention would again turn back to the machine. Seeking more, and more and more until He finally hit the brakes by throwing me into the biggest dry season I have had to date.

I soon realized that there was no more pressing in to get closer to God, the season of doing and striving had changed. No more was He going to allow me to be distracted by the gifts that He blessed me with until I understood the big picture. All the goose bumps, the visions, the revelations, they all stopped. Now it was a time to surrender, to rest, to hear His still small voice that was calling me to holiness and calling me to be rooted and grounded in love.

Before the dry season, He told me I was to study Peter. With all the hustle and bustle I began to put it off and with outside influence I eventually assumed that it wasn’t God speaking to me. I came to the conclusion that it must have been me trying to comfort myself somehow in the flesh until a lady at a prayer meeting asked me if I was supposed to be studying something. Humbled and ashamed I look up at her and shook my head yes, disappointed that I didn’t have enough faith to believe it was God who spoke to me in the first place.

Needless to say, I again began to study Peter but this time at a much faster rate as you can imagine. As I studied Peter I began to see myself. Like me Peter was impulsive, filled with love and hunger for God yet he always seemed to miss the bigger picture Jesus was trying to portray to them. As I slowly studied the scriptures the Lord started revealing to me the bigger picture. That bigger picture was love and as I started pursuing love, God started reviving those spiritual gifts. In first Corinthians 14:1 Paul didn’t say to pursue spiritual gifts and desire love he said to “pursue love and desire spiritual gifts.” As my understanding began to be enlightened I realized that this is where I missed it.

Desiring spiritual gifts aren’t a bad thing but pursuing love should be the most important thing in our walk with Jesus besides knowing Him and having an on-gong relationship with Him. The Holy Spirit started to rebuild my foundation in the faith by revealing this truth through the most profound sermon in history, the sermon on the mound.

As I continued through the sermon on the mound the big picture became clearer and clearer. Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, don’t repay evil with evil, don’t judge or condemn but do good, give, and pray for everyone. As this big picture continued to develop I started to understand what God wanted from us so I decided that my life will change and that I would begin to strive for a sermon on the mound lifestyle. That is, until I encountered more difficult people.

As I cried out to God to give me a heart to live the sermon on the mound lifestyle in order to please Him, I soon found out some of the repercussions of not doing so.

One night at work a group of employees were discussing issues with a problem coworker. While I agreed with them I tried not to get involved with their conversation. Eventually I justified it to myself by saying it isn’t judgment if I’m merely stating the facts. Unfortunately, God didn’t agree with me. That night I woke up three times with terrible nightmares. In the morning, desperate for some good sleep, I cried out to God asking what I did to open this door.

Without delay He revealed to me that my part in the conversation opened the door for the enemy to disturb my sleep. Soon after I read Proverbs 6: 2, “You are snared by the words of your mouth;You are taken by the words of your mouth” and He also reminded me Luke 6:38, “For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you (See also Parable of unforgiving servant, Matthew 18:21-35, especially verse 34).”

I repented, was very sorrowful and began to pray for her to overcome any issues that would cause her behavior. I was ashamed of my behavior and keeping my mouth shut was my new number project. That is, until a similar situations came.

Situations just seem to present themselves in the wrong times. The enemy has a way of bringing them when we’re most vulnerable and if it’s not him, it is most certainly our own flesh. Some of these situations I sort of crept into, even if I didn’t justify it, I would start out having good intentions and wanting to help a brother or sister in Christ when I slowly crossed that fine line into gossip. For instance, one time I discovered a fellow believer I was praying for was harshly insulting me behind my back to fellow church members less than a week after calling me to see how I was doing. In an attempt to spiritually help this person overcome their issues I evaluated myself back into a situation described above, not realizing right away that I had taken offense to the behind the scenes insults. As I found myself in each situation I thought “how could anyone possibly avoid getting caught up in these situations and not have to hide somewhere in a cave?”

An easy answer would be to walk in the Spirit but as I described above, many times we can slip back into our flesh without realizing it. So what then? How do we prevent snaring ourselves with our tongue? How do we continue to walk in and pursue love in difficult situations? Before we act or speak we must be able to understand and quickly recognize what is and what isn’t love.

Fortunately, Paul tells us this in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 that “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Let’s break this down and simplify it…

Love:
Suffers long
Is kind
Rejoices in truth
Bears all things
Believes all things
Hopes all things
Endures all things
Never Fails (v. 8)

Love does NOT:
Envy
Parade itself
Puff up
Behave rudely
Seek it’s own
Get provoked
Thinks no evil
Rejoice in iniquity

As we evaluate ourselves we should ask ourselves is what I am about to say or do out of love as we see it here in scripture. An even simpler way is to ask “what would Jesus do” or “will Jesus be glorified by what I am about to say or do (1 Peter 4:7-11)?” While this concept may be more difficult to perform rather than understand, its fruit is still very important.

As we continue to grow in the faith we will begin to recognize that we are the cause of most of the problems we deal with. James 1:14-15 says “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.” Paul also confirms this in Ephesians 4:27 by saying, “neither give place to the devil.” So what then? How do we avoid snaring ourselves by our own words or actions? Peter said in 1 Peter 4:8, “above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”

So is there any doubt why Paul told the Corinthians to pursue love?

For when we love we protect ourselves. For when we love we store up treasures in heaven. For when we love we remain clean in His sight. For when we love we bear good fruit. For when we love we accurately reflect the image of Jesus Christ. For when we love we please the Father Who is Love!