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| 2008: Tears and Joy |
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This has been a very trying year at some points and a very good year at some points. The amount of valleys and the mountain tops that can fit inside one year are amazing. I have shed many tears of joy, of pain, of frustration, of sadness, and of being overwhelmed. The tears come from the birth of my fourth child and second son, Isaiah. They come from seeing the teenagers in my youth group reaching new heights with God in the spiritual life. Tears also come from seeing those same teens in the battle for their life and watching them make the wrong choices on what ever level. Promotion at work is a big step and with it bring feelings of frustration and of being overwhelmed. Sometimes it can start to be too much. Tears came from nerve problems down my back and into my leg. Sometimes even big boys cry from pain.
Some of the pain is emotional. This year I watched as my parents who had been married for 36 years got divorced. I have never felt so helpless in my entire life as I did during this whole process. As this season was upon me, it led me to much soul searching. Afterall, everything I had been taught my whole life was now brought into question. This led to many tears. The divorce is final now and the issue is not who is at fault. The issue is how to continue in relationship with both of my parents when one lives here and the other moved six hours away. They are not a unit anymore. They are now mom and dad instead of parents. I am still figuring this one out.
As I look back, the one thing that never changed was my heavenly Father. In a time when I felt like I was losing everything that made me who I am, I realized that He made me who I am. What my parents taught me shaped and molded my character, but God is what defines me. My identity is not in my doctrine and it is not in what position I have in the church. My identity is in that I am a child of the Uncreated Master of the universe. I can rest in His peace. I can hide in the shadow of His wings. I can run to Him for He is my strong tower.
This year has taught me that many things you can never prepare for are going to happen. It has also taught me that when I am at my weakest, God has not changed and is still strong. God has done some things in my life this year and while some have hurt, it has all been necessary for me to go through to become the person and leader that God has called me to be. Thank You God for molding me and shaping me into your plan for me. May You never be finished as long as I breathe. Amen.
In Christ
YPM
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| To add a comment to "2008: Tears and Joy" |
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| December 23, 2008 |
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| That is really awesome. You have the right attitude about the things that have happened to you. It is the master's chisel sculpting you into the masterpiece He has for you to be. I am very proud of how far you have come and look forward to seeing where you will go next. Love, Suzie |
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| December 23, 2008 |
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I know that this has been a very trying year for you. We have had alot of emotional roller coasters. Most have been more toward you as the head of our household- our spirtual authority. I am very proud of how far you have come and taken the God road... the road far less traveled. Along with you on this journey through the year on the road far less traveled we have all followed. I am proud that you chose the honorable way even in the tough times. Our kids have seen the way you have lived out your faith in our Heavenly Father and I know that will impact them more than we will know for a really long time. I can tell you now that it has impacted me. |
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| December 24, 2008 |
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| wow matt i dont know what to say. um... well in your first paragraph it made me realize that i got close to God before and it may not have been the closest but it was a lot closer then before and now. And that made me realize that I can do it again. The when your talking about God in the 3rd paragraph it made me realize that He will never change. That He will always be there for me. So well ya. |
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| December 24, 2008 |
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I love all of you guys-
Thank You for the comments and your prayer support.
YPM |
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| December 24, 2008 |
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That is so awesome, and I am glad that you held on with Jesus!!
God Bless,
Jacqueline |
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| December 24, 2008 |
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Lots of mountain tops and lots of valleys for sure. Isaiah was a great way to start the year.(tears of joy) Jaime losing her job, and me having to find another job, wasn't so great. Then bankruptcy, that was a real down time, plenty of tears.
Every time the kids come over or see us, their unbridled joy and love overwhelm us and puts things in perspective. Noah wanting to sit in my lap, Sarah yelling what she wants to say because she wants my attention, Moriah falling asleep in my lap, Isaiah stretching his little neck to find me in a crowd. Sometimes is what I need to remind me how important I am. When I have to tell them I can't do something because of an injured body part, they understand, even though it really gets to me. Big boys do cry, that's for sure. I really try to keep it out of sight. Matt, I do understand your pain, Jaime and I will always do whatever it takes to help you and Jolene and the kids.
The thing I must never forget is that GOD is my strength, he never changes, his love is more than I will ever know and for that I'm thankful.
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| December 25, 2008 |
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| Matt reading your blog really pulled at my heart strings. I love you as a son. You have come a very long way in the past few years. Yes, there have been a lot of tears both of joy and pain and frustration. I am very thankful that you have allowed God to be your pilot and potter. If we all would only stop at the first sign of frustration and thank God for being there for us, things sure would have a brighter outcome. Things do not always go as WE would have them, or think we want them to, but when we let God do His "thing" with us it all turns out for the better. I echo what Doug said about the kids. The day brightens when I see them or talk to them. They are a very HIGH point. The hugs, kisses and love they give are unconditional, just as our Father's love for us. Our love should be just as unconditional. They are children and do childish things, some good and some bad. We praise them for the good and punish for the bad. Our Father in Heaven does the same with us. We just need to remember He isour Father. He will take us through the trying times and the happy times. Most people forget to give Him a BIG thank you for the good but seek Him in the trying times. He DESERVES our praise and love regardless of the situation. You and Jolene are doing a very good job in raising your children. The love they have for God is present and you can see it, even in Moriah who knows that Sunday is for going to church. I do know that your kids love you and they desire to be with you and share things with you. I pray that you will continue to be that strong, Christian influence in their lives. They need you as a Daddy, a friend, a confidant, etc. Don't let your frustrations with the world, (work, life, etc), get in the way of the love you have for them and Jolene. We love you, Momo |
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| December 27, 2008 |
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| I love you Matt. For always. For sure. |
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