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| My Vows to Clay |
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When Clayton and I became engaged we began to plan a wedding that included all of our children and special honors to our fathers. We wanted something that was very personal and unique to us as a couple. Two of those things were the releasing of butterflies and writing our own vows. Sadly, as the date began to draw near we realized that we had been unable to secure the funds necessary to have the wedding of our dreams. We went to the Justice of the Peace and got married on a Tuesday evening. The home was modest and sweet, but we did not recite our own vows.
I always said that when we got the amount of money needed we would have our wedding and renew our vows and then we would be able to recite them in the witness of family and friends. That could be another 10 years.
Recently I came across the sheet of paper in which my vows are hand written; titled simply "My Vows to Clay". Upon reading it I realized how weak I had become in my role as a wife, based on the vows. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband very much and he is my best friend, but I need God's help daily to trust and honor my husband in the depth that God asks us to. Most of this is due to my own baggage and not his track record. To wait another 10 years before I recite these vows could be detrimental to my marriage. I need to recite them and renew them everyday. Before I do any of that though, I need to recite them publicly. So, with God and all of you as my witnesses, I am pledging to uphold my vows to Clayton and God, and I expect all of you to hold me accountable if you see me failing.
My Vows to Clay
God has brought us together and this is just the beginningOf a bigger plan he has for us as His servants.
My promise to you on this day in front of our family, friends,And before God is to always stand behind you and trustYour judgment that God will always lead us to where He shouldHave us go.
I also promise to make sure that you always know that You are the most important person in my life; Not a day will go by that you will have to question my loveAnd acceptance.
I further promise to be your best friend by not expectingPerfection from you or myself, and only to give healthy criticism;I will choose my battles carefully and appreciate the beauty duringThe uphill climbs.
Finally, I promise to always hold your hand when you need it,And to take a little step back when you don’t.
At the same time I promise to ask for help when I need it,And remember you may not know if I don’t ask.
To say you are God’s answer to my prayers is an understatement;You have always been a part of God’s plan for my life. I will make a conscious effort to ensure thatI don’t let you down, and that I don’t let God down.
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| To add a comment to "My Vows to Clay" |
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| July 02, 2007 |
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| Wow,that is a beautiful vow.It really got me doing some evaluating of my role as a wife. Its hard to make a conscientious effort to do those things each& every day.Thanks for the reminder. |
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| July 02, 2007 |
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| wellll...isn't that speshhhhal. all sarcasm aside, i'm glad you found that lil piece of paper and you need to put it on the dresser mirror, so you can see it everytime you see yourself. |
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| July 02, 2007 |
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Thank you racunpoodle...being married is hard work sometimes, not all riding off into the sunset.
Marsharie, thank you for you for your support...and I am glad you joined mychurch. I hope you find it as helpful and educational as I do. |
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| July 02, 2007 |
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| awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! ;^) |
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| July 02, 2007 |
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Julia;
This is a beautiful post. I just posted one on "The Miracle of finding Your Soul Mate" and I think that what I stated applies here too. Life may not be perfect, things happen and our plans seem to disintegrate before our eyes. I think giving God full control of our marriages such as what you are doing now by publicly posting your vows to your husband, and asking your sisters and brothers to hold you accountable is just what you need to do. We all need to do this. Marriage is not easy, it is hard, sometimes it's easier to not communicate, to know bring things up to the Lord, to walk away... though when you are fully dedicated to the Lord and to one another this is when you will see your marriage become all God desires it to be.
Your dedication to your marriage shows and I will be praying for you.
God bless you sister. |
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| July 02, 2007 |
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| Wow!!! Thanks for your sharing that with us!! Awesome promises for any marriage. I'm going to really try to keep them in mind for my own marriage to my best friend!! |
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| July 03, 2007 |
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| Thank You for your support and the stars. I have made so many mistakes in my life and I know it is all because I didn't trust God and follow Him the way I should. My advice to everyone is this...Don't think that just because you are a Christian and you go to church and say your prayers everynight that you are following God's plan for your life. Following requires allowing a leader to lead you. If God isn't the one leading you in your life right now, you need to submit to Him everyday each and every aspect of your life...especially your relationships with those you love. We don't have to renew all of our commitments every day...only the ones we want to keep! |
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| July 03, 2007 |
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Cool that you noted this... "To wait another 10 years before I recite these vows could be detrimental to my marriage."
Reminds me that perhaps we should "recite our vows" to God (portrayed in Scripture as both our Father and our Husband) a bit more often than we do. The parallels between our marriage relationship and relationship w/God are pretty amazing. Lord bless! ~mike |
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| July 03, 2007 |
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| It is sometimes hard to remember that our husband is also our best friend. I also struggle with upholding my role as a wife and keeping my marriage in the perspective of what God intended for it to be. Thanks for sharing your vows and for reminding me to hold my vows to my best friend in the highest regard since my vow is to our Lord and my husband. |
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| July 03, 2007 |
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Mike, God should always come first in our lives. If we put Him first, everything else will fall into place. It is hard living in a human world, but if we recognize the fact that we are only in the human phase of our life for such a short time; visitors on earth if you will, then maybe our perspective can change just enough to allow us to focus differently.
Katrina, yes our husbands should be our best friend. If we don't like them enough to consider them our best friend, then why would we marry them? LOL We need to keep our vows to our Lord, our spouse, and our self. We have to love ourselves as well, but that is another blog!
Thanks for the comments! |
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| July 05, 2007 |
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5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing. 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 5:30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 5:32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband.
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| July 11, 2007 |
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A few Sundays ago this was the sermon from my church. Those verses you just noted were what he talked about. Crystal found it pretty boring but I thought it was awesome. My favorite part was when he was talking about how you should love one another no matter what, for example...your wife may not be able to clean the house very well but you should love her anyway...hehehe..and also about the part where you can't trade your wife in for a newer version. |
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| July 11, 2007 |
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Yes, this is a very misunderstood set of verses. Many people think the word "submit" always represents a sign of weakness that is bad. As humans trying to live a Holy life...we are weak and the sooner we realize that the "stronger" we'll be. Every successful organization has a rule of order or chain of command.
Of course, the part about men loving their wives as Christ loved the church.....just imagine how happy wives would be to serve their husbands if they felt loved, adored, put on a pedestal, and respected.
It has been said that men desire honor and women desire true love and adoration. If a couple can give that to one another as well as depend on God with faith, then the marriage will be successful. |
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| July 12, 2007 |
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well i guess the thing for the husband that has been so wonderfully edified by his loving wifes vows is to say thank you so much. god has given in you to me so many wonderful things, images and experiences. julia i know beyond a doubt that i am the most important person in your life other than God. i feel that every day when you hold my hand and when i look into your eyes. there is only one problem with this picture and that is that i cannot honestly say that i deserve all of your honor, praise, and adoration because i know that there have been times that those feelings havent been reciprocated. for that i must publically ask for your forgiveness and let you know that the only vow i can make to you right now is I Promise. this vow is three fold. first, i promise to love you and that im keepin you for always and forever (hint: yes i remember that is one of your favorite songs). second, i promise to honor you. third, i promise to bring security into your life and our home. these last two i know i have failed misserably at but my promise to you is that i will strive to honor you as you deserve and that i will strive to drive away fears, doubts and concerns so that you will be secure in knowing that im keepin you for always and forever.
i love you baby and am so blessed to have you not only in my life and not only to have you as my best friend but mostly because you are the beautiful wonderful wife that i know God has always had for me. |
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