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| Entitlements, and Wrestling Matches |
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"Oh, Lord, won't You buy me a Mercedes-Benz/
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends/
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends/
Oh, Lord, won't You buy me a Mercedes-Benz" - Janis Joplin
Anyone who is a parent knows that we lose our illusions in regard to our children rather quickly once the reality of the grueling routine of caring for a newborn- and then, worse- a toddler- sets in. For people like me who like life to be clean and neat and predictable, living with an infant or toddler is an extreme reality check. My son was actually an "easy" baby. Because of his large size- he was 9 pounds 9 ounces at birth, and 10 pounds 2 ounces several days later when the hospital was finally convinced that they could safely let me go- he slept through the night at two weeks. My son's infancy was only difficult because of my work schedule and the difficulty of getting a child in and out of a car seat that had to be placed in the rear seat of a two door car. He had opportunity to make up for it later, and like most "easy babies," he made up for it in spades.
By the time he was two I think I had a much deeper and richer understanding of the concept Calvin called "Total Depravity." I am not a Calvinist, but I do agree with his assertion that humanity, apart from God and left to its own devices is totally depraved. I think I discovered that concept in practical application through my son's example, somewhere between his culinary exploration in the cat box when he was 18 months old, and the time I discovered the VCR had been filled full of Chili Cheese Fritos a couple of months after that. At that age, my son considered himself to be the center of the universe, an assertion he punctuated often with tantrums and screams of "NOOOOOOO!" and "MIIIINE!"
I only wish I'd done a better job of hiding the Sharpie markers.
A two year old believes he is entitled to anything his little heart desires, whether it is good for him or logical or not. If I had him with me in the grocery store I had to be sure to keep the cart in the middle of the aisle, out of reach of the shelves or displays at all times, much to the annoyance of fellow shoppers I am sure. Otherwise I would get to the checkout with divers and sundry items that I know I didn't put there, such as 20 boxes of PopTarts, a few tubes of Prep H, assorted mystery items from the international foods aisle, or anything else he could get his meathooks wrapped around and felt like throwing in the cart.
Some days he tried to refuse to wear clothes, and would take clothing off as quickly as I could get it put on. Other days he would refuse to eat meat or eggs or bread. If he wanted a specific breakfast cereal or wanted PopTarts for lunch it was a war of wills. Finally I took his doctor's advice. She said he should only be permitted to eat what is served, and that he will eventually eat when he's hungry enough. It's a lovely thought in theory, but in practical application I will say you need to have endurance of steel and some pretty good ear plugs handy to get through the tantrums and tirades. It took several episodes of him screaming bloody murder for PopTarts and being denied them to finally realize that he wasn't going to get PopTarts for every meal no matter how he screamed. He would get a balanced meal provided to him, but on my terms, not his. Whether he chose to eat or not was his business, but his choice of whether to eat or protest would not change the content of the meal provided.
I wonder if sometimes God sees our demands and requests in the same light as my then two-year old son's. I am sure I must come across at times as a petulant two year old when I whine and cry to Him. I must be aggravating to Him when I throw things in my own cart that nobody needs and that I really shouldn't have either. God provides me with a life and a purpose (a meal, figuratively speaking,) that I can either indulge in and enjoy or that I can protest until I realize that what God provided for me really was better than what I thought I wanted anyway.
Our society is big on having the latest and greatest, and in our depraved humanity we all fall prey to that sense of entitlement that Janis parodized in the "Mercedes-Benz" song from time to time. It's the mindset that my perfectly serviceable Toyota is suddenly not good enough because my sister drives a BMW. Never mind that I have a decent and reliable car- it just doesn't have that prestige, that "je ne sais quois" that a luxury brand has. According to society's standards it's just not quite as upwardly mobile to drive a Toyota Yaris as it would be to drive a BMW or a Mercedes-Benz SL. (the Benz is truly drool-worthy I have to admit, being the lifetime motorhead that I am...but the Yaris is a lot more practical and a lot less expensive)
The problem with trying to keep up with society is that more is never enough. Even if I had the means to buy the Benz (I don't) what would be the point? Next year there would be something more magnificent, more cutting edge, and if you don't keep up you will forever be behind. Such is the pursuit of stuff.
For the vast majority of us, who might want to buy the Benz but don't have those kinds of resources available, it is a temptation to get bitter or despondent when we see those who can afford such things. My oldest sister is quite affluent according to the world's standards, and she and her husband have a lot of nice material things. Their good fortune used to really make me angry, and at times I would wonder why I was living paycheck to paycheck and scrambling to keep bills paid (and at times to cover for my husband's gambling losses...) no matter how hard I worked. I worked 80 hour weeks and sometimes still didn't have enough money for groceries or prescriptions or to keep the utilities paid. I had been brought up on that old time work ethic that the harder you work the more you should be able to show for it as far as material wealth. Sometimes I wondered, like Janis, why God didn't buy me the Benz, and the TV, and a round of drinks just to prove He loved me. I felt as if as a result of all my hard work and heartache in this life that I deserved to have the Good Life handed to me. I envied my sister her spacious house, her Beamer and her sober and even-tempered, non-gambling husband more times than I care to tell.
It's not about what you earn or deserve, and that principle works both ways. We all deserve death according to the letter of the Law, so any mercy we receive, any gifts we enjoy, come from the hand of God.
In the Lord of the Rings, the character Gandalf shares a bit of wisdom with Frodo when Frodo suggested that the creature Gollum should have been killed long ago when Bilbo tricked him out of the One Ring. I am paraphrasing here because I don't know the quote verbatim and I don't have the books handy at the moment. Gandalf replied to Frodo's wish for Gollum's death in a peculiar fashion. He agreed with Frodo that we can readily observe that some who die deserve life and some that live deserve death, but the question is, can we give it to them? Should we if we could? Even if we could reward or punish people according to their merit as we see it, might we be interfering with a greater purpose? We are only seeing a small grid in an infinite tapestry after all.
Can we have the courage to trust God to work His purpose even through the deaths of those who could work much good, and the lives of those who live on and work much evil? This is an important and ongoing round in mypersonal wrestling match with God. His economy and His larger purpose is beyond our understanding.
55:8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the LORD. 55:9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
As people who hopefully have grown past the two year old "NO" and "MINE" stage, it is clear that we are not entitled to anything whether it be a Mercedes-Benz, a color TV or another breath. Everything we have is given to us by the gracious hand of God.
God does want us to come to Him in prayer with everything, even when we are whining, not so much to view Him as a celestial Santa Claus Who gives us whatever we ask for (He doesn't) but so that He can align our wills with HIS will, and so that we are willing and grateful to receive the specific gifts and purpose He created us for.
Let the wrestling continue. |
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| January 09, 2009 |
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Wow, I can tell you this...I would take character in a person anyday over "stuff"....you may not have "stuff" but lady you have some character and it shows...GREAT BLOG. Lori |
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