Lara, first of all, if you tell someone you're backslidden, they should take you serious! You see when I became a christian I was 31. Well, when I was 7 I walked to the alter during a revival and the preacher said a prayer. I realized at 31, I had walked to the alter because I didn't want to be the only kid left on the pew.....I didn't have a clue about what I was doing. When I tried to come out of the choir at 31, to get things straight with God, a lady blocked me and looked at me like I was crazy! You see, she had been in the church that day when I was 7, so she JUST knew I was saved already. Hehehehe, good thing i'm a pushy person, cuz I pushed right on by her, and invited the Lord into my heart for real :)

Backslidden, ohhhhhh been there many times, and knowing me, will be again. Yeah, I too get lazy, that's one of my downfalls. The other, which is the biggest, is when things aren't going good.......duhhhhhhhh, that's when I need God the most, but it's when I withdraw from him the most.

love you lady!

Lara, we're on the same wavelength.  I hear what you're saying about the first love lost.  It happens gradually, and a lot of Christians may be in backsliding mode w/o even realizing it!  According to the verse you quoted, the solution is to "repent and do the deeds you did at first"!  Of course, that includes reading the word (discipline yourself!), praying, and serving others.  Can we do these things and feel emotionally dry?  I'm sure we can!  But somewhere along the way emotions will return.  Oh, and perhaps the most important thing IMO is...appreciation. When we lose our love, we've lost our appreciation too. In fact, the appreciation probably goes first. It's hard to love someone you don't appreciate. In fact, I think it's impossible!!

I don't mean to trivialize backsliding by suggesting it's easy to turn around.  First you have to realize you've backslidden.  You also have to want to turn around.  Many folks don't, tragically. At one point in my life, God had to literally remove me from church completely in order to restore my appreciation of it. Since coming back, I have had fire, vision, and passion ever since. And I don't think I'll ever end up in that place again, though I try to remain vigilant and humble, lest I start to slip. 

Powerful first blog, Lara. Thanks for your honesty!

Denise, details! I want more details, girl! lol I know "God", but fine details! :D  You got the fire, you send some this way!!!

Mike, everything you say makes sense, I just wonder how many more months of getting my butt out of bed and spending time with God--how many months before I actually feel something????  It's like I've done that for months and months, to no avail in the past. It stinks. I'm doing something wrong.

Hey Dora, I tell ya, who you got rooting for you and standing with you as far as fellow Christians, really does help. There's a reason the Bible says to encourage each other, daily.  I am believing with you for FIRE!!!  Holy Ghost fire.

debra,  I'd like to say I'm "glad" I'm not alone, but I'd rather there not be so many of us in this place.  But it's time we did what we gotta do, eh?  I just need some glimmer of hope that things will really dramatically change!

Denise, wow.I don't know what else to say. I wonder if my parents had known how to show love to us, if it'd have been different for me, because I was raised and immersed in the Word: youth group, AWANAS, church twice on Sundays, all the functions, daily family devotions, always saying grace before we ate....constant. But that is nothing without the love of Christ being shown. But most parents nowadays have so much baggage...like myself.  I got "religion" alright. Just no relationship.

Terry, yeah, through hardships. I have to admit it's easier when you don't have a spouse constantly bringing out the worst in you. I found that that was where my walk became a whole lot harder.  I wanna be right there with you, praising God.  I've had my share of storms, and yet....we are all so different.  Thanks for sharing, Terry, and thanks for the warm welcome back.

Thanks, all for sharing your stories and being so transparent here. I don't like wearing a mask, nor does God like it. He can move when we all confess our faults and sins and admit where we are going wrong, and then we can work together and be strong again, in Him. 

I think we have all been there, Lara (& Stevie, & Carolyn, & everyone else). We lose the emotion, and fear that the Holy Spirit has left us, or something like that. Well it ain't true, and we simply have to reassure ourselves. (Or hang with other mature Christians who can likewise reassure us.) Rev. 2:1-7 comes in the form of a letter from Jesus to a really good church - except for one thing. He says "Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love." (from which my blog on this exact topic came) We all have to avoid forsaking our first love, that "love we had at first" for our Savior when the realization of his loving sacrifice for us came upon us. I believe this essentially means we remain engaged with him in relationship. Appreciating him, and DOING all that our appreciation compels us to DO. Some very wise counsel has been given here in your comments Lara, and more will likely come. This includes, spending time daily in God's word (his word...to US!), in prayer (one-on-one dialogue with God, wow!!), and serving others (isn't it the LEAST we can do for God, after all he's done for us?). Sharing this life of faith with other believers is critically important too.

Carolyn, I can attest to the fact that you have grown leaps and bounds in just these past few months, period. So do not forget that, when you get down on yourself. I rarely see believers grow that quick in that short a time.  You've been called to intercession, as I've said before, and I guess we all just gotta keep pressing. I know you probably feel like I do when you don't pray. Like I don't have the gift of intercession in quite the same way you do, but I feel like I let a lot of ppl down, by not praying for them anymore, and broke my word. Which is the worst.  BUT it's never too late til we've drawn our last to repent. Thanks for sharing.

Voice, haha! Our pastor has been preaching the past two Sundays on God disciplining us or pruning us....one comes from being disobedient, and the other because we are producing fruit, and He wants us to produce more fruit.....the thankful thing, yes. Amen. I remember Joyce Meyer teaching on that, how we need to thank Him throughout the day whenever we think of it for anything and everything. Just get into a habit of it....the problem with "getting out" and doing this or that is, as you know, I live 40 minutes outside town, am stuck home all week, and on the one day I typically get into town a week, Sunday for church, we go to church, grab our groceries, then get home, because it's my hubby's only real day of rest, and he wants to get home and "rest." So the Lord knows I want to do those things. Our church is doing a ministry to the prison I've been in twice, and I so want to do that...but can't til we move.  And as for discipleship? I do have a mentor, who has always lived elsewhere, that the Lord has put in my life.  Anyone living around me is too busy, or, 98% of them are in the same boat, but pretend they are not.  They themselves could use some discipling.  Soooooooooo yeah. Everything you say is true, but some of those things can not be done at this point in my life.  The thankful heart thing can be done any time, of course. :-)  Thanks for sharing that. I didn't take it in any way but a  good way. I mean, it's what I asked for, right??? lol

Jen! Missed you! xoxo

Steve, you totally get me here!  You totally get it.  I know that I started to really really lose the passion after just over a year of being saved, sadly.  It was after I got married, because I went from being immersed in a community much like the Book of Acts, with tons of fellowship daily, to nothing. I was home all week except for church, getting no fellowship anymore.  It was a shock to my system. I know getting fellowship with other believers who aren't big fat compromisers, is a piece of this puzzle as well, I believe. 

Mike, I believe that we can lose our salvation, so I can tell myself a lot of things, but I know all the other Scriptures that tell me differently.  If He removes our lampstand, to me that's pretty clear.  But that's a whole other can of worms. One I've tired long ago about discussing, because no one can sway me, and most ppl won't be swayed in their belief of it, either.  So for anyone who wants to open that can of worms, write your own blog. Thanks. :D  So yeah, Mike. You summed it up well.  I can only serve others from the "comfort" of my home, at this stage in my life. I can't help but get almost anxious to get out of this place!!!!!!!

My sweet Lara,

You are perfectly right!  I too have tried to teach this to others.  I have been praying for you, but also as we have talking, if I missed anything you were saying to me about this, please forgive me. 

The blessing of walking in His fullness and not being 'Lukewarm" is a delight!  Being in His word is a treasure!!
I am so thankful God always had you in His hand!!

ALL mt love chica!!

Cheryl
XOXO
{Aka:  Smooches} LOL!! 

Oops! Pressed the wrong button.  As I was saying...  Without wanting to sound offensive ONCE AGAIN, let's see how many people here are prepared to step into that counselling role (even if its via the Internet) to help somebody out.  And I wonder how many there'd be left if the people they were counselling told them a bit of the truth to the reasons why they stopped doing what they were doing.  You never know, after hearing the truth from some people - the counsellor may need counselling...  So I'll end that with an "oops" as well.

Cheryl, I missed your smooches! lol Thanks, chicky!

Steve, there are a few, but ppl get so busy with their own lives. I totally don't mean that in a rude way. It's just the truth. I see it in my church and in other churches and everywhere else.

Mike, your wife might kick your behind if you did that, too. lol  With a wife as gorgeous as yours, I'm sure you'd happily save your smooches for her. ;-)

Brenda, much wisdom, there!  Regardless of anything else, I just wanna fall inlove with God all over again...and the rest will follow.

Preston bro, yep, and I fit right in, cause I'm a wack job too. lol Thanks for reading.

Steve, oh my. Well...we won't go there. Mike won't go there....lol.  Yeah, sometimes it's a cop out, but sometimes it's just a fact....but sometimes it's a cop out. lol

Herman, bro, Thanks. You are right. This is it for fellowship for me aside from a quicky thing Sunday at church. But really, that ain't fellowship.  Like we go, we sing to the Lord, we listen to the sermon, then we all go our separate ways again, except for a select few who hang out.  But there's a time and a season, and it's our (mine and hubby's) fault we moved so far away from civilization, and thank God, He doesn't make us suffer the consequense forever!  Yeah, I've been praying God would put a desire to even serve Him, in me. Like a real fire desire.  I hate my flesh.

Scott, I think the majority of us find ourselves in this spot. Just so many are too ashamed to admit it. I know I feel like an idiot, considering I used to be one of the key bloggers on here, with some no compromise blogs.  I feel like I've failed so many ppl.  But it's done with now.  

Cheryl, hehe. Well sometimes we are our worst critic...and enemy!

Deb, I remember your precious cat. I know how hard that is!  And it's awesome how God cares for everything we go through.  thanks so much for sharing your experience. I appreciate it.

How can we evaluate our walk?

Well, one thing would be by the amount of fruit evident in our lives. If we aren’t producing much, that’s an obvious giveaway

Are we growing?
 
Are we producing more fruit than we had before?
 
Are we closer to God now than we were, say, a year ago?

I know something’s gotta give.
 
I get discouraged when I don’t see results, then I give up.

Then I try again. Then I give up again. The cycle needs to stop. I need to keep pressing on….

So I’d like for any of you who’ve been there and are now "fired up" again, to share how you rekindled your First Love.

                                                 " FIRED UP "

This is a ongoing job to ........NEVER .......Let .......The FIRE GO OUT !
I Was Fired Up in 1973...When I had a DEATH Experience...& not a Near Death ! Went to a Real Place...
.................................................................HELL !!...................................................................
You can NOT Get any more FIRED UP than That.....The Deal Was to Serve Him & Save Me...He Did
&.........My Fire is Hotter than Ever !! 35 Years of Him Polishing Me to do something very BIG.
& Many will be part of His Grand Revival & His ADVENT.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Bible Teaches.........

The Great Co-Mission....is The Job assigned to The Church....which is....
to........[MAKE MEN DISCIPLES].....not anything Half assembled.

So The one's............. DOING........The Assembling ought to be Fully Equipped themselves
First !
Heat Generating Heat....Making Hot...Not Luke Warm !

This is Spiritual Adultery.....This means watered down relationship.
The only REAL sin of Adultery committed is a Diluted Relationship with Jesus.

The Counsel of Many has to be really carefully sought ....& then You run into the risk
of Bad Advice.........Be-Cause....the very SAD & Awful facts are that 80% of The Guys in
all the Pulpits [do not] even Believe in the BIBLE Basics........& This is of All Your
Denominations.........So How could One Be-Come Fired Up ?? or...Inspired ??

Selling a Product that is not really a product the salesman believes in &
HE himself has not purchased the product.

People sadly find comfort in Be-Ing Luke Warm Be-Cause they FEEL part of The
Big Group...Herd Mentality....Sheep Following The Big Herd to Slaughter.
Sheep following other lost Sheep rather than following the Shep-Herd.

The Form of Godliness ...Denying the POWER.

                
                                           " JESUS SAID "
Often ...........HOW LONG MUST I...tell you to have & develope FAITH.

The Kind of Faith GOD Desires US to Have....That has GRAND Results.

His Business ...The Father's Business...That Jesus spoke of
I DO what I see My Father Doing.....This is...The Same Business that We are to Know
of it's Exact Functions & Purposes.

God so Loved The [WORLD] His Masterpiece...that He desires to Blot out the Curse...
The Problem is The Free Will Exercising....It is a Voluntary Program...if Mankind wants
to reject or accept the Business ot The Great Co-Mission of Restoration & Restitution...
of All Creation...Romans 8:18...& Acts The 3rd Chapter.

I think The Biggest part of Blotting Out The Curse is That The Church MUST BE-COME
empowered ...To DO The FIXING & Repairing back to What The Jews are still waiting For
a Messiah the Makes Things RIGHT Again like the Paradise Adam Messed Up.

The Responsibility & Accountability Has Been given to the Church...to Do This.. That
which is....
Requested of US...From The Lord & Master Jesus.

YOU ARE ........HIRED !!........YOU GET The JOB       Officially assigned to My Business.......

First Task at HAND..........You Are To MAKE....Things Happen !

Not By Chance.......But by MY Plans...You WILL FIND if You ACT ON
You Will have The GREAT Results....when You execute & Review the
Results...........Jesus.....He REJOICED after He had sent them to Heal the
Sick & Cast Out Devils...& They Reported ..."it worked " just as You said
it Would....Jesus Then said..."I SEE Satan's Kingdom Falling"
READ......First John 3:8

Cheryl, I love your smooches!!! :D  and your poem!

Michael, Amen.  What more can I say? Everything you say is {harsh} reality. Harsh for me, because it's the truth that can be hard to swallow but like medicine if I take it in.

Eliza,  I knew you were in the same boat, based upon your last blog.  Part of why I thought I should be forthcoming with my situation.  I guess the thing would be, that we need to do whatever we gotta do to get out of the place we are in and get back into the groove of things with God...and keep on growing! Love ya, girl.

Joe, thanks ,bro, for reading.  Please keep me in your prayers, as well as the other awesome peeps on here that are struggling in the same way, and don't want to stay in that place. I don't believe ANY of us that have spoken here, want to be in that place!!!   Love ya too, Joe.

That's cool. the more the merrier. ;-)

ihsallthetime, almost my entire life, I went around calling myself a Christian. I figured, since I believe the Gospel message was true, and I'd "asked Jesus into my heart", then I was one.  I grew up in a church that taught extreme Calvinism, but it never sat well with me.  So anyways, here I was living like the devil.  And then there were many times I thought I was sincere, asking Jesus to take over.  But then nothing happened.  The time I finally did get born again, I couldn't believe it actually happened, because from then on, I knew that I had never known Jesus up til that point.  I had been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress disorder and a chemical imbalence and had had depression for years, but Jesus delivered me from that when I gave Him ownership of my life.  It was like a lightswitch went off.  Even my parents saw a huge change. They couldn't stand me before, but then I lived with them for a year after I got born again.  This is how I know that I know that I got born again six years ago.  If what you say is true, then that means there is no such thing as backslidders. Backslidders are people who got born again, then slack off or just take off.  I can't speak for everyone, but only for me.  And I've been in some pretty awesome spots with God of "perfect peace". It was amazing, while I was in ministry school and immersed in the Word and ministry, constantly.  Am I "filled" to overflowing with the Holy Ghost right now? No.  It's like you gotta sow into it. You reap what you sow.  Anyways, I know what you are saying, and I know there are many people who think they are saved, and aren't because I used to be one of them, but perhaps if you've never had this happen to you, it's hard for you to see it as possible.  Who knows?  But anyways, thank you for sharing.

Cheryl, you're cute. ;)

Lara...This so encouraged me! When I started reading this, my heart was enlightened. I have been there...recently...and this has been my prayer for God to rekindle the fire and the compassion and the passion back in my heart. I want that fire and that zeal back in my heart that I had when I first got saved...when He first touched my heart. That desire to do 'Whatever' He wanted me to do. I like what you said right here though:

Ask the Lord to put a hunger for Him and His Word in us, then do our part, even if we gotta force feed ourselves for a time.

I have had to do just that...force feed myself.  It seems that when we get 'comfortable' and let reading the Word regularly or prayer continually...just spending that little extra, quality time with Him, it becomes habit forming and it gets easier to 'not' do it. But, then its even harder getting back into the habit of doing it again, because the enemy has come in and cause a wall to be put up. At least, thats how it feels for me. I remember something that Kenneth Copeland said when he first was born again, he said, "When I first got saved and I wanted to read the Word of God, I would get so sleepy that I could barely hold my head up. So, finally, I determined in my mind, that I was gonna read the Word of God, through whatever lengths it took me. So, I decided one day, I would stand on the edge of the bathtub and read the Word of God, know that if I fell off I would be hurt...and I finally, after falling a few hard times, because I wasn't focusing on the Word, but on the fall itself, I begin to be steady, so it became easier and I was able to stand there and read for hours, standing balanced, because my focus was no longer on 'falling off the tub' but it was on my 'desire to read the Word of God' and be consistent in doing it". I know that sounds a little silly, but once we get our minds off of why we aren't doing it and just focus on 'doing it', it will become easier and that desire to do it will return. Ok, so I just preached that to myself....lol...Thank you for this...it was awesome....

Wow... This really opened my eyes! I've been trying to figure out why I felt so disconnected from God, and you told me in a few words.. Thanks! God bless you!

                                                  Jager

Look at Gen 3. It's a wonderful account of a couple walking in full relationship with God as it was meant to be.  Even in that relationship, we are easily deceived.  That's why backsliding is cyclic. - we go back and forth, in and out of a real relationship with Him.

Gene

Lara,

"I need to have more discipline and just..."

I've been down that road a few hundred times.....

I am becoming more and more convinced that's all part of the Big Lie, a deception placed there by the one who seeks to seperate us from God.  That deception is kind of like a New Year's resolution - we feel discouraged....and shameful....when it eventually doesn't pan out. And out of that guilt we feel like we're not good enough, so we distance ourselves from the very one we need the most.

I've learned that those kinds of thoughts place us in control when we need God to be in control.

What God wants from us is a humble and contrite heart with a hunger and a thirst for Him and for Him alone.  All these other things: discipline,dedication,avoidance of sin, right priorities, quality relationships, and the joy of life all come from God as a consequence of a good relationship with Him.  

I'm glad to hear that your hunger has been renewed.

Takiing time to look for God in me and around me includes a lot of things.  A desire to read the Bible is a part of that.

Good to talk with you.

Gene

I'm thinking that we all need help from backsliding, and that we all intentionally and knowingly do it.  We seek to feed our sense of control, we take our relationship with God for granted, we want to get even with someone...or at least relish in the desire to do so.

It is in our very nature to backslide.  The great apple incident in the Garden of Eden and the rest of the Old Testament describes for us...testafies...that over and over again God's people willfully fall away.

I took a  walk this morning and asked God why I keep falling away.  The immediate answer that came to me before I even finished asking the question..

 ..."Because you're human."

Gene

Many moons ago my wife gave me a weekend at a monastery.  It was wonderful!

It was, in essence, a fast from the clutter of life.  I ate with the nuns and they invited me to the worship services (several per day).  Each had its own style.  But by far most of the time was just me walking the grounds, contemplating the dedication and purpose with which they conducted their lives to and for God....and reflecting on the extent to which I allowed God to work in my life.....or not.

While I recognize that a monastery is not what most people think of, "getting away from it all" is exactly what most of us need to really allow the hunger for God to take hold.

....which is, after all, the point of any kind of fast.

Gene