I am thankful but cautious today. Part of me is afraid to even mention it lest I "jinx" the endeavor, and the idea that I would entertain the validity of "jinxes" underscores just how weak my faith can be.
Today Jerry has gone eight days without drinking so much as one beer. In the past fifteen years he has not gone more than two or three days at a time without a binge drinking session.
Believe me I am thankful for every minute he is sober, and my caution in being too optimistic is that the celebration may be premature.
I don't know if he is simply trying to prove in his own willpower that he can go without drinking or if he has lost the desire for it. If the first scenario is true, that he's just trying to prove that he can go without but is constantly craving it, he will go back to the beer with a vengeance. I hope and pray that by some miracle he has lost the desire for drink and binging has lost its charm, because that is the only way he will stay free of it.
I do believe that freedom from bondage only truly comes from the hand of God. I used to be a binge drinker also, though for not nearly as many years. I may not have realized it at the time but it was by the grace of God that I lost the desire to binge drink. I simply had no taste for it any more, as if someone had flipped a switch. Becoming free of smoking was a far more challenging wrestling match- there were many lessons and struggles along the way- but thankfully by God's grace I have been free of that for over six years. I don't take that forgranted either, and I can only trust God that I will not crave cigarettes or fall back into that again.
16:3 Commit thy works unto Jehovah, And thy purposes shall be established.
At one time I had stopped smoking for three years but all during those three years I craved them- and the minute my life started imploding I was smoking again- not just the half a pack every other day or so that I had smoked previously, but my smoking habit quickly turned into a hard core two pack a day chain smoking jones. I hadn't become free of cigarettes at all, and the moral of the story is that willpower alone won't set you free of anything. This is why diets and resolutions and many other of humankind's good intentions fail all the time- the motive is wrong.
19:21 Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will be established.
It's encouraging for me to know that God wins, even at those times when it seems like His purpose is being undermined at every turn. I am struggling on a very deep level with political turns of events, especially in regard to the attitude that those who have been newly elected have regarding human life. I have deep moral revulsion to supporting ANY political candidate who fails to support and protect human life from the beginning. While I see good friends and people who I respect celebrating Barack Obama's presidency, I am deeply saddened and disturbed that the person occupying the highest political office in this country supports and is now using taxpayer money to fund the wholesale murder of unborn children both in this country and abroad. If God is the Author of life, who are we to say that a mother has a right to kill her unborn child simply because that child is inconvenient or may have a genetic defect? How can a Christian justify this?
I don't presume to know anyone's heart. I know that some people who believe in abortion "rights" claim "all children should be wanted children" and will assert that no one would want to be sentenced to a life of poverty or abuse, or to be doomed to live with a disability such as Down's Syndrome or Cystic Fibrosis. Their motive appears to be compassionate- why burden a young woman with a child she can't afford to raise, or why let a child with a defect even live to be born to be a burden on others?
The fine line is this, and the danger of "MY will" versus "THY will" is, who defines a "wanted child?" Who defines what "defect" means? I can claim to have been both unwanted and defective by many people's standards, but does that make my life less valuable in the eyes of God? The other question I would pose, has poverty and/or child abuse decreased since abortion was made a "right" back in 1973? I would propose that legalized abortion has served to perpetuate the view of life as being disposable if it isn't convenient, and society's acceptance of abortion on demand has opened the door for acceptance of even more affronts to human life such as eugenics (genetic selection,) infanticide, and euthanasia. These things are already happening in Europe.
As I have said, I find it really hard to justify abortion on demand, and I seriously question the motives of its supporters. I also believe that anyone who supports abortion on demand is inherently unfit for public office and positions of authority. If a person believes that life is disposable before birth, how much can they esteem life after birth- especially the poor, the unwanted and the disabled?
I have to trust that God has put our leaders in place for His purpose even when I have deep moral misgivings about them. It's hard when I have a really difficult time seeing anything positive about certain leaders to pray for them and to trust that God can work His purposes even through and in spite of corruption and evil motives.
Then I remember that my own motives aren't always so pure, and I would be a liar of the highest order if I claimed to be free of corruption. There but by the grace and forgiveness of God I go- as well as those who I have deep moral disagreement with.
The truth is that everyone falls short of the glory of God, and unlike us, God doesn't have categories for sin. Everyone is equally guilty of every possible sin under the law, but the converse of that is that God is equally able to work His purpose through a leader that I may perceive as being corrupt or evil as He is to work His purpose through a leader I may perceive as being more fit for his office. After all, if God could take the persecutor and murderer of Christians, Saul, and turn him into the apostle Paul, then no one is impossible for Him to transform.
The only hope for humanity is not in this or that leader but in God, that His purpose will be fulfilled and that He has good plans for His people.
118:9 It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to put confidence in princes.
I don't know from one day to the next what it will bring. While I am thankful for any time Jerry is sober, his ongoing sobriety and healing are in the hands of God. While my gut reaction to many of the newly elected leaders of this country is outrage and shock and disappointment, because either their values are in opposition to my own and/or their conduct is questionable, again, I can only trust that God will work His purpose even in and through those I would not consider to be fit for leadership.
146:3 Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no help.
God is in control. Not me. Not Barack Obama or any other elected official either, and I am thankful that it is God's purpose that prevails. THY will, not MY will or anyone else's will, be done. |
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