On day one, February 27th, 2004 at 2:53am it all started.... and it's still not over.  All we wanted was to have a healthy baby, to be able to hold him, feed him, and go home in three days with a wonderful, precious, perfect gift from God like everybody else.  The feeling of helplessness, the fear of what may happen, yes those feelings were there, but they didn't take us over. 

Jonah has had to go through many surgeries which we hope and pray that he is done with.  We praise God for being with the doctors as each surgery was performed.  We thank God for the strength He gave us to get through and for the strength He gave Jonah.   

Jonah has come such a long way, but it's hard not to notice the other children, even babies doing all the things that he should have been doing two years ago or should be doing now.  We see improvements almost weekly, but he is still far from catching up.  Everyone tells us he should catch up, he should be walking soon, he should be talking soon, he should be able to eat normal foods soon, but they have been telling us that since he started going to therapy almost 2 1/2 years ago.  He is a LOT closer than he has ever been to all those things praise God, but it is almost heartbreaking..... it IS heartbreaking to see all those babies doing all those things, seeing them run down the hall, when Jonah tries to catch up by crawling.  It's hard sometimes to hold back the tears, but we know that we have to keep going.  

GOD gave us this child because HE knows that we could handle it.  Sometimes, somedays I wonder where GOD sees my strength...... sometimes, somedays I feel like I can't handle it anymore, but then I remember that I'm not the only one who has gone through this, we're not the only ones who GOD has given a child that has health issues or problems.  And we're NOT ALONE and will NEVER be alone.

We have never blamed GOD for any of these trials we've had to endure, we know that every trial is to bring us closer to GOD and they have brought us closer, given us greater faith than before.  One day we will know why HE chose us, why exactly we've had to go through these trails or the trials we will one day face.  I have so many questions I'd like to ask GOD, but until then we will continue to love HIM, to praise HIM, to look to HIM for the strength, we will keep the faith.  We would not have made it here today without GOD.  HE is our rock, everything else is just sinking sand.  We will NEVER let Satan win us over by tearing us apart piece by piece because of the trials we endure, though they are hard at times, we will NEVER give him that victory.  We will praise GOD in the good times AND the hard times.  We will always have faith in GOD. 

It's easy to get caught in the flow of everyday life and to forget that GOD's there until something bad happens.  When things don't go your way or the bad things don't disappear, you cannot give up hope, you cannot give up faith no matter how hard it gets.  GOD's there, HE's right there waiting for you to climb into his lap, so HE can hold you, so HE can take the pain, the stress, or whatever is weighing you down, so HE can carry you.  Let HIM carry your burdens. 

Here's a song that Brad and I have been living by.  I pray that you let the words go to your heart, apply it to your life......
  

MercyMe - Bring The Rain
From the album Coming Up To Breathe

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through

The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind

To turn my back on you oh Lord
My only shelter from the storms
But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray

Chorus:
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus Bring the Rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain

You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain

So I pray

Chorus:

(Repeats)
Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

Label: Integrity Music

Lyrics may not be reproduced without permission from the publisher.