One of the first lessons that I've learned in my Christian walk is called PMA (Positive Mental Attitude).

 As a youth, my friends and family have always told me, "You're too nice. You're too optimistic. You don't have any back-bone." I always have attempted to see the good in everything. Good makes sense to me. Nobody likes negative. Or at least positive people don't like negative. So I take it upon myself to never allow the negative to over-take the positive. 

 Now, I would like to take the time to explain why PMA is such a necessity and how many people often times misinterpret the meaning of PMA.

 PMA is necessary because only positive feedback can help a child mature into a positve impact on society. Negative feedback attacks the ego. Positive feedback forces the leader in you to understand a person's actions and desired results. Positive feedback searches for the purpose of an action. Negative feedback is centered on your needs and not other's needs. Negative feedback in itself has a selfish purpose. 

 When a person understands that you are not trying to hurt them with feedback, they will heed to your correction. Feedback is not correction, feedback is meant to confirm what the speaker has already spoken. Every man has a conscience. The conscience is perfect at evaluating performance. Feedback only lets a person know that there is someone who is watching and cares.

The only way to make someone do something is to make them want to do it. So before you give feedback you have put yourself in the other person's shoes. After you feel like you have fully grasped the point of view of the other person, all you have to do is explain how you now feel. And you do this from the heart. This creates a connection between the two of you.

As soon as you understand how the other person feels about the results of their actions, now both of you are humbled and there is peace in your conversation.

Note: Advise only comes from someone who has been in your shoes. Opinions come from spectators who have never actually tried on your shoes.

So what some people would actually call correction, has now become advise. What would have been an opinion, is now advise. Why? Well, because you see have placed yourself in their point of view and you are no longer a spectator.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 The only way to avoid confrontation is to avoid negative.  You should never say this, "You should've have done this..." You're waisting your breath. Your opinion is concentrated on the past and it's negative. People want to hear the positives from the past and look forward to a better future. 

When you critique someone's performance, focus on the positive. Don't overlook the mistakes. But don't oversize them. Use the mistakes as a turning point for the future.

 Example:

Our sales are higher than yesterday. Customer satisfaction is consistantly great. Tomorrow, let's focus on turn-around time. I understand that it is difficult to increase guest flow if we are concentrating on customer interaction. Does anyone have any ideas on how we can improve our turn-around time without depleting from our interaction.

Note: This was a made-up example, but it works for the situation. The lead does not overlook the fact that some employees are slow. He first examines the situation and finds the leak.

 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You know, I'm no professional speaker or trainer in people skills, but I understand one thing. God never told me I was a failure. He always left me with hope.

God doesn't overlook sin, but he doesn't kill me for it. Sin is the root of unhappiness for Christians. Those who are controlled by sin will be die in sin. Those who are under the spirit of God are not controlled by sin; rather they fall short of God's glory. In Genesis, God tells Cain to simply do right in His eyes and he will love him. That must be the ultimate pat on the back after you mess up.

 In closing, if God does not confront failure with negative feedback, why should we.

 PMA saved my life.