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| Building Relationships On What |
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My wife and I are leading a couples class where the study material is based off the movie Fireproof. In the latest session, we discussed the foundation of relationships. The common denominator in the discussion was that if the relationship is built on anything other than God's love, it will crumble.
Of course the main focus of the lesson was the relationship between a husband-n-wife, but I have been thinking about how God's love should be the foundation for all relationships. Feelings and emotions can be manipulated and in that, taken advantage of. Look at Hollyweird and see the marriages that last 6 months or less and you can understand what I am talking about. That is on a grand scale, so think about the friendships we had in school. To this day, my wife's best friend in high-school will not even talk to her when they see each other in public. This is because she got offended that Jolene chose to spend what little free time she had with me. I have asked myself at least a hundred times why that was such a problem and still haven't figured that one out.
Then we can look at all those "friendships" we have with the people we work with. I have 44 people that work under me, and I spend time with about 10 of them. Is this because I like or care about the other 34 less than the 10? Maybe it is because the 10 all have at least some kind of relationship with God and so we have something bigger than any of us in common with each other. We have a built-in relationship because we are sons and daughters of the living God. We have experienced the love of the Father to some degree, so we have an impulse to love each other rather than exist with each other. We are moving past acquaintance and toward relationship. The kind of relationship that can weather the storms of life and survive each other's bad days.
Jesus has to be the third strand in the rope for the unity to last in a relationship. Emotions and feelings can be deceived. 1 John 4:8 says that God is Love. 1 Cor. 13:13 says ...the greatest of these is Love.
I have been convicted of this- If we are going to show anyone the Christ in us, we must love them. No matter how they look or how they smell or where they live. We must show humble love with no strings attached. We love them because they are who God made them. Regardless of national origin or sex. We do not need to love their sin, but we do need to love them and show them that God loves them no matter what they may have done or where they may have been. LOVE has to be our impulse and not judgement. There is none righteous, not even one. God is the righteous judge, that is not our place.
Just some thoughts
Let me know what you think
YPM
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| To add a comment to "Building Relationships On What" |
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| February 05, 2009 |
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| That is so true. I think that is why we are closer to many of our Christian friends than to our own family. When there is no God connection, it seems that we cannot really have a meaningful relationship with a person. Great thoughts! |
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| February 05, 2009 |
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| is God not like suppose to be like the first string? |
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| February 05, 2009 |
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| Yes Abby, He should be. The problem is that most relationships are only two stranded, meaning the two people that are involved. What most people are craving in a relationship is what can only be provided by God being in the picture. God should be the first and the two be brought together around Him, but in most cases, it just is not so. God should be the beginning of the relationship, or the foundation if you will. The whole thing should be built on Him, and not built apart from Him. |
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| February 05, 2009 |
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| but like what do you mean when like you say what most people are craving in the realationship? like i get the rest but i dont like get that. |
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| February 06, 2009 |
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| I agree with you 100% If God isn't in the picture then it's doomed from the start |
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| February 06, 2009 |
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Matt,
School kid friendships aren't usually based on anything other than convenience, (riding the same bus, having classes together,etc.) so it don't take much to wreck them.
Now that you've gotten older your friendships, at least the ones that last, are based more on respect and common interests than anything else.(examples for me are Eeyore and Becky/Lonnie) The other 34 that you don't hang out with, Proverbs 14:7 says, "Stay away from a foolish man, for you will not find knowledge on his lips." and Proverbs 13:20 says,"He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm." (Guess what book I've been reading this week..Ha Ha) Back to the subject, the other 34, yes we are to love them and I am concerned about them but I can't believe for them, I can only sow seeds and be an example that might make them think. Sometimes they ask questions(Byron) and I answer the best I can and I've even gotten back to him after I've had time to think and research what he said (I think I surprised him...I cared). That is what we must do...CARE. Everyone I listed has seen me on a bad day, it wasn't pretty,but they understood and still respect me. The ones that don't, I still care about but I can only influence the ones that I can.
To show the kind of love your describing you need to establish some kind of communication with them. Most people now days to be safe prefer to think that others hate them or at least don't care.The opposite of love is hate. The best way I have found to show I don't hate everyone, is to look everyone in the eye and smile. At Walmart it's the 10 foot rule, and it really works. If you want to mess people up, look them in the eye and smile, lots of people don't know how to react. If your not willing to smile at people then you aren't going to get the opportunity to share the good word, That Jesus loves you.
Well, that's what I think.
Doug aka "PoPo" |
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| February 06, 2009 |
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I agree. If we don't love, how can we establish relationships? 2 Cor. 5:14 says that the Love of Christ compels us. What does it compel us to do? To get out of our comfort zone and show love to those who are different than ourselves. We show them the love of the Father inside us, and His spirit draws them to Himself. Caring is part of love, but is not the fruition of love. I can care without getting moved out of my comfort zone, but when I truly love the dregs of society, that will move me out of my comfort zone.
Jolene |
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| February 06, 2009 |
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| God's love. What is it? How do we get it? |
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| February 07, 2009 |
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These are the exact questions I was asking myself when I wrote this. I do know some of these kind of people, and yes they all deserve God's love. Jesus died for them just as He did me, so who am I to say that I deserve it and they do not? Someone may be gay, but they deserve the love of God all the same. What else will change their state of mind and pattern of behavior? Being gay is no different than murdering, lying, stealing or what ever( you know what I mean). These are choices and the incomprehensible love of God is the only thing that will change a person from the inside out.
I am glad that you understand where I was coming from and trying to end up with this blog.
LU
YPM |
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| March 26, 2009 |
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| okay so i know this blog was from a long time ago but i just read it again and all the comments. i was thinking exactly what mr.matt just said. wether there gay or homeless or as our world would call it "normal" it doesnt matter. God still loves them. and that guy being gay. well were no better then him. and you know we should treat him like he was our brother because in the Bible it says he is. if one of our brothers were gay would we ignore them or talk bad about them? i know i wouldnt. so why would we if hes not our brother? and even if the Bible didnt say he was our brother it still says love thy neighbor as ourselves. well we wouldnt treat ourselves like that. and we wouldnt want to be treated like that. were suppose to show people Gods love and if you show them nasty and mean and rude there not going to want to know about God and all of that becasue they wont see the wonders He brings. well ya. thats what i just thought. |
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