How can you tell if a person is motivated by genuine love or hatred?  I'm undergoing an educational experience called CPE or Clinical Pastoral Education.  Part of what we do is to be on-call chaplians at a level 1 trauma center; we work with patients on things like advance directives (living wills) and supporting families recieving bad news.  But each week we gather with our peers for IPR, interpersonal relating.  In this group, we are encouraged to confront, to speak the truth in love as St. Paul would say.  So it's not OK not to intervene or confront, but how is this different from hatred?
Hatred stirs up strife; stirs the pot for the sake of keeping things going.  Love, far from being wishy-washy may also stir things up, but for the sake of clearing the air, dealing with the offenses so that it can offer forgiveness and recieve forgiveness and the relationship can continue in a stronger and more emotionally healthy way.
What's the difference between a person who is motivated by love or hate?  Simply this; are they stirring up strife, or seeking to own and then cover a multitude of offenses?

P.S.  My opportunity to engage the congregation will be February 22nd, NOT this Sunday!