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| A Case Of Euthanasia? |
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Our pastor talked today about the preciousness of human life, and when murder is considered murder and when it is not. Murder is essentially the taking of an innocent life. If someone who killed an innocent person is put to death for that murder, then that is not considered murder. I point you to the passage in Numbers that he used for the majority of his sermon, Numbers 35:9-32, and specifically for this blog, verses 16-21.
35:16 But if he smote him with an instrument of iron, so that he died, he is a murderer: the murderer shall surely be put to death. 35:17 And if he smote him with a stone in the hand, whereby a man may die, and he died, he is a murderer: the murderer shall surely be put to death. 35:18 Or if he smote him with a weapon of wood in the hand, whereby a man may die, and he died, he is a murderer: the murderer shall surely be put to death. 35:19 The avenger of blood shall himself put the murderer to death: when he meeteth him, he shall put him to death. 35:20 And if he thrust him of hatred, or hurled at him, lying in wait, so that he died, 35:21 or in enmity smote him with his hand, so that he died; he that smote him shall surely be put to death; he is a murderer: the avenger of blood shall put the murderer to death, when he meeteth him.
Our pastor talked about seven different subjects that are highly controversial, and everyone has an opinion about, but the one that I am zeroing in on is Euthanasia. This is a subject that hits close to home for me. You see, for my brothers and sister and I, we were faced with a choice that essentially came down to choosing euthanasia for our father. He had had a stroke at some point, actually he had several “mini” strokes. Unbeknownst to us, he had one that affected his swallowing. At the time, no one knew that this was the cause for his lungs filling with fluid. Everyone thought, including the doctor, that he had congestive heart failure. He was put into the hospital for that, since he was having such a hard time breathing. They discovered then that the process of swallowing was not working as it should, and that when he swallowed, stuff went into his lungs. They were going to put a permanent feeding tube into his stomach, actually wheeled him into surgery to do the procedure, when they discovered that they couldn’t get in through the stomach because of an obstruction. The other option was to put a feeding tube in through his nose. Either way, he would not have been able to eat normally again, probably for the remainder of his life. My father by this point was extremely agitated. He couldn’t understand why he wasn’t allowed to eat. He was so hungry, but they could not feed him because if they did, he would either choke to death or get pneumonia. We had him sedated because he had gotten out of his bed and fallen, and had also called the police because the hospital was “starving” him. I agree that my father’s situation was horrible. He was obviously miserable. He would have been miserable with a feeding tube. He still would have wanted to eat. He wouldn’t have cared if he died from eating…to his way of thinking, at least he would have had food in him. He would have had to go to a nursing home, and knowing his temperament, he would have pulled out his feeding tube over and over again. My father was not a pleasant man most of the time. No matter the choice his children had made, he would not have been happy. If we had elected to put the feeding tube in through his nose, he would have said “Why didn’t you just let me die?” If we elected to not put the feeding tube in he would have said “Why are you starving me to death?” My father did have a living will. In the state of Ohio a living will is binding as long as no family member contests it…at least that is my understanding of it. My sister and brothers and I all agreed to not put the feeding tube in. Essentially, we let our father die of starvation. We made the choice to take his life. We took it out of God’s hands.
Although it could be said that since he had a living will he was giving his consent for no heroic measure to be taken. Is a feeding tube a heroic measure? In this case, what would you have done? There was no hope of him getting better, at least according to the doctors. He would have lived the rest of his life with a feeding tube. He was a miserable man, very depressed (extremely so since my mom died), probably unable to go home to live ever again, and have to be cared for in a nursing home. Is the decision that my family made considered euthanasia/murder? |
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Wow, this is tough stuff. I appreciate your ability to openly discuss something this controversial and taboo. This is not the stuff 'christians' are supposed to talk about. So it took a lot of courage to put it up, and I admire you for it. In my opinion, it was neither euthanasia (assisted suicide) nor murder. It was mercy. If your father had been 30 years old, the story would be completely different and I would certainly make it clear the possibilities available to a young man with medical complications. However, having worked in nursing facilities for the elderly, I'm all too familiar with the chronic depression and abandonment most patients experience daily. This is a tough decision. I pray the Lord will give you clarity by proving to you for certain what He has to say about it, by using his own Word. Jonathan |
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Deb...I hope that I never find myself in your position. It would seem to me that, because he had a living will, you are not responsible. It was his choice and you by no means killed him. As it says in Ecclesiastes "there is a time for everything under the sun" including death. In my way of thinking, God is sovereign even if the choice we make is the wrong one. We are all appointed a time to go and when that time comes, we will go, one way or another.
I hope I made sense...
God bless you |
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Deb,
I agree with the comments that have already been left. I don't think this would qualify as assisted suicide.
I do think a feeding tube is considered a heroic measure in this case. Had your father not had the living will, maybe not.
You're right though, this is a tough one. Like Jonathan said, go to the Word. I feel as though the Lord is going to give you a peace about the situation with your father with His words.
And who knows, Deb, maybe He will use this storm in your life to minister to someone else!
As a side note, my PawPaw has Alzheimer's disease, diabetes, congestive heart failure, etc.
At least once a week I bring him a Strawberry milkshake (he lives at the VA). Some say "How can you do that, he has diabetes". My response "I know, but he's 86 and he wants one!". I think the decisions you and your siblings made were not made lightly and went with the stipulations your father had already made known.
Blessings! |
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Cathy |
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July 16, 2007 at 7:30am |
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Hi Deb,
I went through the same thing with my dad. |
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Hi Deb -
You are in my prayers, because I know that this was and is something that was terrible for your to face.
Our opinions don't mean much, but if they help, I am glad to chime in and say that in no way do I think what you did was euthanasia or murder or any kind.
If you step back and think about the situation, without the attachment you had - the feeding tube was an extraordinary mean to keep your father alive. I'm not even going to use 'your father's wishes' as a platform, because that is still based on the law of man...not God. It's not like you removed a tube, or added something to cause his passing...you simply did not prolong the life that was obviously meant to be over. You used the medication to let him pass peacefully, and it was the best solution for an obviously painful situation.
God bless you and your siblings. |
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Steve |
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July 16, 2007 at 9:37am |
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Deb,
Two thoughts from your preacher
1. I hate the way our medical establishment puts us in these types of situations. In many cases the fact that something can be done is enough to do it and the question of whether it should be done or not is never even raised. And when it is raised, the myriad of complicating factors and opinions makes it almost impossible for us to work through. My hope is that by preaching this sermon, people will think about what to do BEFORE they get in the situation. It was not my goal (although I knew it would happen) to raise doubts and fears about the past.
2. As your brother in Christ, I want you to know that I love you and Jim. This blog indicates to me that the pain and struggle you are dealing with is either the Holy Spirit teaching you and helping you grow OR the result of my failure as a communicator of God's truth. If it is the first, then I encourage you to look courageously at the dark places of your life with the Holy Spirit at your side. But realistically it is probably more of a BOTH/AND then an EITHER/OR and at least some of the struggle comes from my human failure to adequately communicate. For that part, I am most terribly upset at myself and humbly beg your forgiveness. I do not enjoy bringing hurt to those I love.
Steve |
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Precious Deb,
This is such a painful experience. I've been through it twice now--with my father last summer and my grandmother. With my father--my family left me in charge of making those decisions and left me alone at the hospital to handle it.
In the end, I only had the support of a hospice worker who helped me through that ordeal. He was able to observe and give me guidance, both medical and spiritual and it was a tremendous comfort to me to have him explain the process of the body shutting down and counsel me to direct the nurses (asking for more sedation, ect.) His goal was to help me relieve my father's suffering. I honestly don't know how I would have made it through that day without that man--who I'd only met hours before my father's death.
I am a firm believer in letting nature take it's course. Your decisions, as difficult as they were during that time were acts of mercy motivated by love. It's a haunting experience, for sure. We always tend to second guess or doubt if we did the right thing or wonder if we could have done more. The thing is we have to be merciful to ourselves as well. When faced with such decisions there is no right or wrong answer when what you decide is motivated by your love and desire to ease pain and suffering.
Blessings!
Birdie |
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Deb |
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July 16, 2007 at 12:00pm |
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Johnathon, I worked for 14 years with the elderly, so I know too the depression and abdonment...as well as the loss of being able to do what they once were able to do, which I think is what was the main cause of my dad's depression. He was 87 years old when he died, and he lived a long and fairly healthy life. Thank you for your thoughts.
Zach, you did make sense, and I hope you never find yourself in the position to have to make that decision either. Make sure that someone you love knows how you feel about the situation should it ever happen to you, so that they are not faced with making the decision.
Angie, as I said above, I used to work with the elderly, and so many of them were on special diets. I was the activities director, so I got away with a lot more than a nurse would. We would have parties and such, and I would let them have some of the treats if they wanted to. Goodness, they are going to die at some point, and right now they are in one of the worst places, why not give them a little joy? And you are right, the decision that we made about my father was not made lightly. We all discussed it at great length, and discussed the other options we had.
Cathy, since you went through the same thing with your dad, how did you make the decision of what to do?
Growing in Faith, I did, in fact, step back from the situation when it happened. I remembered a lady in the nursing home where I worked, who had a massive stroke, and was unresponsive, but she was still breathing on her own. The family had a feeding tube put in, and she was kept alive for probably another month. At that time, seeing that there was no improvement to her health, they elected to take it out, and she died within a week. This woman was a much loved mother and grandmother, and these people did not take the decision lightly, but I felt that they made the best decision they could considering the circumstances.
Steve, I commented to you separately and privately, but I want everyone to know that my preacher did NOT cause me hurt by his sermon. That is something that I do all by myself! I have really worked through this situation, partly on my own, and partly with the help of a counselor. But as I said to you privately, sometimes there are things that bring it back again, and this was one of them. Thank you for your comments, and for caring. |
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Deb |
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July 16, 2007 at 12:03pm |
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| Birdie, thank you for your kind words. I am so thankful that my family stuck together through the situation with my dad. We have always gotten along, and we were all supportive of eachother through that process, and I know it was a little easier having someone to share the burden with. I feel badly that you had to go through that alone. Blessings to you. |
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| I Love you and Jesus does to. You have confessed and are forgiven I am sure. Now let you forgive yourself. when I have more minutes to say so I have more on the subject. Till then god be with you. |
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Hi Deb, Pretty difficult to pass any comment. But I personally think it was a brave thing that you and your siblings did. At times, I really do not know what to say. But I would most certainly done what you did. One of my close friend's is faced with a similar situation now. His grand father (in his 80s), is really sick. He is almost an invalid. He cannot pass urine on his own, he's has a tumour which the doctors are scared to operate on because he might not survive the operation, and he suffers from complete memory loss. My friend's mother says that they often consider the option of just letting him die. He has lived his life and lived it really well. But is faced with a moral question of, "Will we be interfering with God's plan for his life?" A very valid question, and answers surely are not easy to find. God bless you and thanks for sharing such a personal and difficult experience. love, johns. |
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Deb |
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July 26, 2007 at 9:40am |
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| Devilsnitemare, thanks for your comments. I am sorry that your friend is faced with a situation like this. There are no easy answers, and you keep hoping that God will just take them home. I used to work in a nursing home, and have seen so many people like this. You wonder "why is God keeping them here? What purpose could they possibly be serving on this earth?" I guess we aren't supposed to know why though, only God has the answer to that. Thanks for sharing. |
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