LOL, me Mike?? :)

You KNEW I was gonna find this, man! Hey Jason, it's good to hear from ya. You know, life gets busy, that's just the way things go. Hopefully we do get to hear from ya a bit more regularly. I always enjoyed your perspective. Just be patient, I'm pretty busy these days too! :-)

Well, I can honestly say that it has not been an episode of running from Him.  More of a thing of just having life-stuff bring discouragement and trying to discern what exactly the Lord wants me to do in certain areas.

I've never really been one to balk at "steps of faith", but I'm not sure if that's the spot I'm in right now.  There's an opportunity for ministry open to me, but it would mean leaving my job (and thus my paychecks as well) which would make it pretty near impossible for a household which is just barely getting caught up from some past financial difficulties to continue to operate. We're in the process of trying to adopt, a process which does kinda like when you actually have the income to support the child you want to bring home (go figure!).  My wife is very much in the "nesting" stage right now, preparing our (rented) home for whenever the Lord decides to bring us a child (either naturally or via adoption). I could go on, but you probably get the point.

I see Paul's wisdom in stating that it's easier for ministry when a person is single, though this experience is not causing me to "wish I was single again" by any means. I have long seen glimpses of future events where my wife is ministering right along side me, and have always been certain that she's who the Lord intended me to spend my life serving Him with.

I know that whenever someone says "There's an opportunity *but* <insert random financial worry here>", the first thought that comes to mind is "Yes, but if the Lord has plans for you to minister there, He will always take care of your financial needs."  I have shared that counsel numerous times before, and have "counseled myself" with it a few times as well.  He has never given me any reason to doubt that fact.

The only concern comes from whether this opportunity is *the one* He wants me to serve in.  There are ministry opportunities aplenty, especially nowadays when people are hurting so much from the whole economic and world situations.  I *can* fill just about any spot, but I don't want to jump into *any* spot just because it's there; I want to fill the spot that He wants me to serve in, to reach the lives of the people He has prepared.

I still "help out" in this particular ministry, just volunteering some time, and they've mentioned they'd like to have me there full-time again (I did a stint with them a couple months back, also volunteer but 40+ hours a week), but don't know if they'd be able to pay me anything if I was to leave my job to dedicate my time there.  After talking with the head honcho, the phrase "Looks like it would be a big leap of faith, eh?" came up, and yes, it truly would be.  But just taking *any* leap of faith doesn't in any way obligate God to catch me, does it?  If He's standing in one spot with arms wide open to catch me, and I jump off the other side of the building because I wasn't paying attention, what then?

This is my dilemma, and it has effectively paralyzed me for the moment.  I have always counseled people to never make the choice based on money, because where the Lord guides, the Lord provides.  But being barely able to scrape by on top of paying someone else rent, trying to bring a child into the family, and all that goes with trying to ensure you're providing well as a husband and head of the home makes trying to discern what the *right* move to make all that more important.

Well, the timing of writing a long blog made your blog pop up when I needed to see it. I am always glad to read an honest blogger. Yours smacks hugely of honesty. I look forward to seeing more of you, including the journey of bringing a child into our home.

I will add you to my list of prayer needs. hugs juanita 

Thanks, Juanita!  I'm not on here near as much as I used to be -- hoping to change that soon ;) -- but hopefully those who've been longtime readers could attest to the fact that I have always approached this medium not as a popularity-building exercise or a formulaic "a+b+c=fantastic!" assignment, but simply as a place where I can share the things God has put on my heart so that hopefully anyone else He desires to minister to through my experience could have a chance to glean from them what He desires them to.

To that end, I'm glad you came across it, and I'm glad it prodded you in whichever way was necessary at the time.  I pray the Lord would continue to move mightily in your midst, and that you would be able to shamelessly and robustly continue to follow and share Him with those you interact with daily. :)

Subscribe if you like...that's the best way to guarantee you're always kept up-to-date with whatever's going on here on this end.  Your prayers are all I covet, and I thank you dearly for offering them. :)

Nice to meet you, and hopefully we'll be more in contact soon!

Juanita, I love you sister! (sorry, impulsively had to say that!)

Jason, in my experience, it strongly seems that God has spoken to me, and to our family, through circumstances. We follow God as he opens doors. Then as we've walked along with him "easily" (that is, not fighting through obstructions) we've been able to look back in hindsight and clearly see how our choices and his leading have lined up to bring him glory and grow/benefit ministries. It sounds to me like God is saying "continue to provide for your family". Take that for what it is, an outsider's perspective. (I just read through a section in James this a.m. on wealth, and the commentary tied in 1Timothy 5:8 as well.)

ps... MyChurch has discontinued the "subscribe" feature for the time being. I know they hope to bring it back, but it's database intensive to implement (as I understand) and so its return will be delayed until they get some things straightened first.