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| As the deer... |
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Lent is the time of preparation, of renewal.
This is the Fourth Week of Lent and the antiphon of the Fourth Sunday resounds: Rejoice, Jerusalem! Be glad for her, you who love her; rejoice with her, you who mourned for her, and you will find contentment at her consoling breasts. (Is 66:10-11) It is truly a time to rejoice because those who are preparing for the life-creating mysteries of Baptism, Confirmation, and Communion as so close to realizing their joy. As one who has received these Sacraments my spirit is stirred with anticipation as I watch those coming to Faith or realizing their Faith perhaps again or even for the first time.
As priest I ponder what it means to be "born again by water and the Spirit" as I prepare to baptize this coming Easter. I ponder what it means "unless you eat my flesh and drink my blood you have no life in you" as I prepare those for their first communion. And it is here, here in Psalm 42:1 that I catch a glimpse of what these Sacraments of Initiation mean.
I live in a dry and arid land. I live in a place where I've watched not only dogs but cats and even birds pant due to extreme heat and no water. The image of the deer is the same I'm sure. A deer panting and gasping for refreshment, for life itself. Afterall, no water in a hot, dry climate equals quick death.
To me the deer, like those other animals, show me what my life is like when left to its own devices. First born into a world of plenty I trip along happily and without care, eating and drinking and otherwise giving in to my own interests and joys, wandering hither and yawn but then finding that I have strayed too far afield I am alone. Now I have before me the goal of finding my way back. But back to where, to what?
This is where I find a lot of people: they have sought their own goals, their own joy, their own happiness and they have learned that these are all passing pleasures. And with each one come and gone they seek yet another, something bigger, something better, something more - that they believe will make them truly happy. But sadly they discover that with each new joy they are plunged into deeper sorrow and so they search again, and again. What they fail to realize that is that nothing they create can give them lasting joy. They panic, they run, they search, they become exhausted, they pant from weariness. And still they are unfulfilled.
It's often about the time they are prepared to give up that I come crashing into their lives, often unexpected and without planning. I hear their story, their sadness, their brokeness, their quest for joy and their profound dispair at not having attained it. It's then that I speak a simple message, one of hope and mercy and healing. Their ears perk up, they ask how and what and when and where; they want this joy. It is the joy of new life, of starting over, of becoming the beloved of the Lover.
In my experience of Lent and preparing others for the Sacraments it is not so much about learning and parroting back "what the Church says" but it is about touching and seeing, and hearing, and smelling, and tasting Christ himself. Lent is the warm-up for a full and intimate union with Christ. It is preparing to be immersed in Him, to be held by Him, and to be both consumed by and to consume Him through the Sacraments.
Perhaps I, like the deer pant, and if I do it is for those life-giving Gifts of Baptism, Confirmation and Communion. Oh, to let my Lover wash me, and hold me! Oh, to let my Lover caress me with His kisses and there let me become lost in His embrace! Oh, to let my Lover fill me with His sweet, cool breath! Oh, to let my Lover feed me with His very self! Oh, to be lost in Him and He in me! Oh joy, infinite and vast - yes, I run, I pant, I desire You alone.
This is the joy I know, this is what I teach: I proclaim the Word of life (I John 1:1-4).42:1 To the choirmaster. A Maskil of the Sons of Korah. As a hart longs for flowing streams, so longs my soul for thee, O God. |
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| March 27, 2009 |
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| only He satisfies! |
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