| As my oldest child prepares to graduate from Elementary School, I've been thinking alot lately about children. As she grows and develops, I am very much aware of just how many gifts are inside of her. Since I carried her in my womb, God made it brutally obvious that He expected me to "hold her gently and lightly". He always instructed me to be ready to "realease" when He calls her forth. I'm beginning to truly feel what it means to "hold her lightly" these days. As she starts to make more and more decisions with her OWN mind, I hear God's voice beckoning gently, "When I call her, let her come." I think that one of the biggest mistakes that we as parents make is to strive to mold our children into what WE want them to be. It is only natural but not necessarily the right thing to do. God has placed purpose in EACH ONE of his children here on this earth and He knows EXACTLY what gifts He has put into them and how He wants them to be used in the world. We as parents need to be ready to YIELD at all times to the Spirit of the Lord. He is truly their father . . . we are simply radically blessed stewards. What says God concerning your child? We have this desire inside of our parental hearts to mold "little mini MEs". This desire drives us to force the issue of making doctors and lawyers and indian chiefs out of our children - - - whether that is truly in them or NOT! Parents . . . we have to resist this urge. And there is terror in this resistance: What if he wants to be a Rodeo Clown?!?!?! What if she wants to work as a beach combing sand artist?!?!?!?! All of these night and day terrors rush through our minds as parents and we fight and flail against the notion of our children going on some insane quest to be the worlds greatest basket weaver. Over the years, I have watched so many of my college friends pursue careers that made the absolutely miserable. When we sit down and talk about the "hows and the whys" of how they got there, most of the time, they were simply following behind their parents advice. And now I see standing before me . . . the saddest, most unfulfilled person imaginable. Is your vision of your child really worth THAT? Would you not rather see them fulfilling what GOD has for them and BEING fulfilled, even if it doesn't quite match up with what YOU imagined? I'm still fairly new to this parenting thing. But I speak more out of my own experience as a child than as my experience as a parent. It took me almost 40 years to realize that I really WAS a writer and communicator, not a government worker, accountant or lawyer. Writing words and the ability to encourage and exhort others is what God has put in me and called me forth to manifest in this world. And I feel great joy, peace and fulfillment when I am working in that realm. But I spent most of my time as a child and young adult struggling to fit in to whatever standard and places my parents and other adults had set for me. I was in my thirties before I decided to stop pursuing what others thought I should be doing and go for what I knew was on the inside of me. Did that choice isolate me from my family and friends? Yes . . . it most certainly did. But in taking what I call the "Abrahamic leap" -- leaving my people behind to go to the place that God has prepared for me in advance -- I discovered that God already had new family and friends waiting for me to pass into their realm. He even provided a wonderful husband that was just as "crazy" as I was in taking the same "Abrahamic leap". And now we travel this peculiar and sometimes lonely and rocky road together. Pursue the course that GOD has given to you. After all, YOU are the one who will have to live out the fruit of that decision, not others. So it will be with your children . . . remember that. I say all of this to say, parents, STUDY the treasures of your children. If your child has an artists' heart, don't try to pin them down by sending them to military school. Unless you truly "see" a soldier in there, chances are great that there is NOT one in there! My second born is NOT a communicator (much to my chagrin). I WISH she loved words the way I do. But . . .her words are very few and she gets agitated when you try to draw them out of her. BUT . . . she sure does have a flare for soccer and math! I was great at soccer but HORRIBLE at Math so I am at a lost as to where a soccer playing mathematician will end up! But I'll stay on my knees praying and keep my eyes open to see where the possiblities are for her. I know that the possibilities are endless in God's sight and God has already decided where He wants her. I just need to pay attention and catch up to where His mind is! Children are treasures. All of them have wonderful treasures inside of them. Some have rubies, other diamonds or sapphires. You may be a ruby but your child might be a sapphire. They all reflect a certain beauty but their properties and characteristics are radically different -- and therefore their purposes shall be too. |
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