Here is the way to resolve conflicts between fellow believers. Yes, arguments and conflicts definitely arise between Christians, and being inhabitants of this present evil age, we often desire to strike out and defend ourselves or seek revenge. Where I work, the "Matthew 18 Principle" is part of the contract we sign each year: "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church, and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector [separate yourself from him]" (Matt. 18:15-17).

Our first instruction is to seek reconciliation and forgiveness. Many times in the scriptures, God voices His desire for unity in the church. See how closely these verses are followed by the parable of the unforgiving servant, who after begging before the king and having his great debt canceled, went out and found his fellow servant who owed him a comparatively small debt. "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay his debt.  When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured until he should pay back all he owed" (Matt. 18:23-34).

Obviously, we should approach every situation in the love of Christ Who reveals that we do not struggle against our fellow servant, "but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Eph. 6:12 ). Remember that our enemy takes no joy in the unity of the church, and if he can stir up trouble in it, he will do it. Jesus said, "Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand" (Matt. 12:25).  The devil aims his attacks against our families and against our church families. It is important to understand the weapon of the enemy--our public show of anger can discredit our church, our pastor who is our shepherd, and even our Lord in the eyes of the unsaved and the world system that constantly seems to look for reasons to call us hypocrites.

There does come a point when once in a while we just need to separate from someone, and there is a Biblical precedent for that. "Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, 'Let us go back and visit the brothers in all the towns where we preached the Word of the Lord and see how they are doing.' Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. He went through Cyria and Cicilia, strengthening the churches" (Acts 15:36-41). The Bible said they had a sharp disagreement, yet the work continued, and even more so as the Word of God was carried in two directions instead of just one. A public fight and unforgiveness would have hurt the ministry, because the others would have seen that they did not practice the love of Christ that they preached. Their arrangement in spite of their differences provided that the church was not damaged . They also did not gossip about one another's ministries and eventually were reconciled (see I Cor. 9:6, Gal. 2:11-13, I Pet. 5:13, Col. 4:10, II Tim. 4:11).

 I heard it said one time that the closer we walk to another, the more likely we are to bump into each other. Quarrels and disagreements will arise, even within the body of Christ. How we handle those quarrels reveals our hearts and our willingness to truly be "transformed by the renewing of our minds" into the image of Christ Who has "called us out of darkness and into His marvelous light."

Lord Jesus, You are the potter and I am the clay.  Mold me into a vessel useful to You. Take away my anger and my prideful desire to see others punished, even when they have wronged me, and help me instead to be a model of humility and forgiveness. I have a long way to go, Lord. Thank you for Your patience, and for not giving up on me. Help me to seek peace and pursue it with all my brothers and sisters, and thank You for them--the great, diverse, multi-cultural, multi-talented Body of Christ! Amen.