I learned a couple years ago that I'm a terrible public speaker.  Like, really bad.  

What was funny though, was that I used to think I was awesome.  I gave good presentations when I worked at Intel.  And when I was in college, I taught classes with ease.  So much so, in fact, that I was awarded the Graduate Student Instructor of the Year in the EECS department (and that really boosted my ego to convince me that I was a good speaker)

But I remember the first time I spoke about MyChurch to a large audience, I completely bombed.  I shudder even thinking about it.  I got a little better with other presentations and speaking engagements, but I learned that I'm a pretty poor communicator while on my feet.  Humbling.

So for the past year, I've been turning down speaking offers and phone interviews related to MyChurch.  That's not easy for someone that craves MyChurch press, showmanship, talking about myself, etc.  Carol calls me a ham.  But I think its best for me to avoid personal spotlight.  Mostly because I sorely and embarassingly lack the gift. 

And also because I think its Biblical... I've been having conversations with a few folks about the "idol worship" that exists in some Christian circles, especially in the tech crowd.  We fawn over celebrity pastors, high-profile bloggers, mega church leaders, etc.  Something doesn't seem "Christian" about that.

Recognition of gifted leaders is great.  But it makes me uneasy when I perceive a Christian motivated by recognition or fame... basking in their own circle of influence, calling themselves thought leaders or visionaries or name-dropping until their echo chamber is convinced of their celebrity.  Maybe its because I see this sin so clearly in myself... excuse me while I go check how many Twitter followers I have.

OK, back from checking... this is also something my church, Cornerstone, is also discussing now. There, a man with an undeniable gift of speaking and communicating the Gospel is sickened by the idol worship that he gets and strives to keep a low profile.