Wikipedia the free online encyclopedia gives the following as a definition for the word validation:
In psychology and human communication, validation is the reciprocated communication of respect which communicates that the other's opinions are acknowledged, respected, heard, and (regardless whether or not the listener actually agrees with the content), they are being treated with genuine respect as a legitimate expression of their feelings, rather than marginalized or dismissed.
(Courtesy of Wikipedia http://www.wikipedia.com)
This definition can be broken down to say that a person that is seeking validation wants to be able to voice their opinions and have them acknowledged, respected and heard because they have a right to express their feelings, rather than be ignored.
Validation can also be considered as a way to justify actions or behavior simply because the initiator has a right to express themselves in a certain manner based on their own ideas concepts or belief systems regardless of whether or not these actions or behaviors are right or wrong.
Validation and justification may have similar meanings when an individual attempts to reason within themselves that certain choices that they have made can work for good because they have to. This type of reasoning can be dangerous and self destructive because the basis for this mindset may have developed as a result of traumatic experiences or forms of abuse so that rational thoughts are warped and twisted. A young lady that has been the victim of sexual abuse may seek validation in promiscuous behavior which may lead to prostitution. A young man with an overbearing father may drown himself in his work later in life becoming a workaholic, never really happy with his performance regardless of how well he does. People look for love in all the wrong places and seek pleasure in temporary things but this type of validation only makes things much worse and never really resolves the inner turmoil troubling that soul.
When we come to Christ the old mindset must be crucified with Christ but unfortunately we drag a lot of the old baggage into the mix and instead of living victorious productive lives we live in confusion and chaos, far from what God expects from us. 2 Corinthians 5:17; Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
This verse is written in the first person singular which means that you can take it personal. The biggest word in the verse is the word IF. If you are in Christ, you ARE a new creation. This is a present reality. Everything from the old way of life is done away with, behold (see for yourself) that they are made new. That means that the slate has been wiped clean. So why do you keep doing things the way that you have always done them? That way of doing things never worked before so what makes you think that they are going to work now. You keep looking for validation in things that have no life in them yet you continue in them. You have to learn to stop being so insecure. This comes from a self-centered mindset that is not Christ-centered. It is not about you. It is about Christ.
You know what God already told you about certain issues but you don't agree with God so you go back to doing things the way that you have always done them because you want people to stop disagreeing with you and understand your feelings. Again you are making this more about you than about God. If you want things to turn around all you have to do is agree with God. It does not work the other way around. You will fail miserably and then you will take it out on God and step out of his will even further. That spirit of pride and rebellion is disobedience and sin and if we are not going to play according to the rules it could be game over. Romans 5:1-5; Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. We are justified by faith, not by anything we say and do, which means that the requirements of the law were met and if we really believe this then we will have peace with God. It is by faith that we can enter into his grace. Faith without works is dead but we are not justified by dead works. Good works are works that are done through the Spirit of God according to your gifting and ability. The works of the flesh will only produce death. Galatians 5:16-21; (BBE) But I say, Go on in the Spirit, and you will not come under the rule of the evil desires of the flesh. For the flesh has desires against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; because these are opposite the one to the other; so that you may not do the things which you have a mind to do. But if you are guided by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are clear, which are these: evil desire, unclean things, wrong use of the senses, Worship of images, use of strange powers, hates, fighting, desire for what another has, angry feelings, attempts to get the better of others, divisions, false teachings, Envy, uncontrolled drinking and feasting, and such things: of which I give you word clearly, even as I did in the past, that they who do such things will have no part in the kingdom of God. Time is too short to keep trying to figure things out. You are either going to get it or you won't. Do you think God is going to get upset if you choose not to serve him John 6:62-70;It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life. But there are some of you that believe not. For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were that believed not, and who should betray him. And he said, Therefore said I unto you, that no man can come unto me, except it were given unto him of my Father. From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him. 6:67 Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away? Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life. And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God. Jesus answered them, Have not I chosen you twelve, and one of you is a devil? If you want to leave God don't look for a good reason, just leave. The spirit might be quenched and grieved, but there are more than 6,000,000,000 other people on the earth. People pour into hell all day long and one more is not going to fill hell. God loves you but God is not going to get off of his throne to treat you any better than he treats anyone else. It is just not going to happen.If you don't like the way he is talking to you just change the way you are doing things. Start to do things in faith and obey him and things will start to go well with you. If you think that things can't get any worse they can get a whole lot worse really quick. they can also get a whole lot better but then it's your choice.
You know what may be even more messed up? You might even get mad thinking that I wrote this blog about you. Carly Simon wrote a song back in the day called you're so vain. The words went something like this:
You're so vain, I bet you think this song is about you, you're so vain, you're so vain, I bet you think this song is about you, don't you, don't you, don't you?
I didn't write this blog for you only. There are a whole bunch of people on here that are in the same mess you are in. You know who you are. One way or another you are going to straighten out or you are going to get more crooked. That's all I have to say. Revelation 22:11-13; He that is unjust, let him be unjust still: and he which is filthy, let him be filthy still: and he that is righteous, let him be righteous still: and he that is holy, let him be holy still. And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last.
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