How is it to know what God wants us to do? How to tell the differences between His calling and our selfish desire to do something good? I have always wondered about this position. I want nothing more than to please God and doing the things He desire of me.
For a long time now this past few months, I have been debating on the needs to home school my children. I have so many reasons and so many whys that I should chose this path. My husband sort of thought ill of this decision. He only believes I am wanting to do this out of selfish desire.
Though, at first I agreed, it probably was caused by selfish reasons. I wanted more time with my children and be able to bond with them rather than sending them off and not seeing them half of the day. Then when they are off from school, they are much rather to play outside with neighbor friends than be with me.
Plus, I wanted to keep my children to develop better family quality. And most importantly.... school does not teach anything about God. I lack in this area but it does not mean I shouldn't try learning more and teach my children about Him. Schools does not provide any emotional support which are what my children lack of. I have learned from three different teachers that Mercy does well with one on one than in a group. She is a fast learner and motivator, she loves to explore and play. But with so many other children demanding same needs of the teacher, she feels overwhelmed and left out. Maybe this sounds greedy or needy, but that is just how my daughter is. And if the teacher admit that she fares well with one on one, than I should have taken into serious consideration of keeping her home and school her myself.
Granted, I am not a teacher type. I am not the kind of person that can figure out how to teach and be patient with their learning process. But that can be learned. I can learn how to do those things. Especially if I have had support and helps. Maybe if I knew just what there is to do in this home schooling deal, if I knew and understood the good positive disciplining I need to do... I can find that it's hard and unfair how I am alone in this. I kept mentioning how I asked for my husband's help in this, someone thinks it's about control. I look UP to my husband; asking for support and encouragement. It isn't about asking for approval.