wow, i can not believe that it has only been one year since I found victory.  What a year it has been.  I can honestly say the church has saved me.  I know that sounds so cliche.  Turely, when life challenges me I usually drive myself insane.  I usually end up medicated, lost, or just plain miserable.  This year my life has been challenge greatly.  More so than ever before.  Everything I thought I knew about myself was questioned.  I found that I was stronger than I thought.  I found that who I was was enough to handle what the free world had to throw at me.  I am in what the free world calls a bad situation, but I feel at peace.  I have the most serious physical condition I have ever had, again not freaking out.  Taking it all in stride.  Knowing that there is nothing I can do about it anyways.  It took me a long time to let go and understand it is not for me to control.  I still have days when I want to take back the control I thought I had.  Well all I can say is I am glad for the burden to be lifted.  It has saved me from driving myself crazy "again".  Not a place I ever want to be.  Now, with jesus and all my new family at victory I do not fear going back there.  Too many forces fighting on my behalf.  I have to just wait and see what god has in store for me.  Good or bad it is not for me to judge.  I truely believe he is going to challenge me more before all of this is done.  My job is to follow where he leads.