number one= A plane is on there way to the east coast and suddenly the engine fails and the passengers have to jump off. But the plane is short one parachute so after almost every body is off the plane and there are two parachutes left and there is a blonde a priest  and a little boy and the priest says you guys are young and have your whole life ahead but the boy argued back and said you need to spread the gospel to everyone and then sets his back pack down and as the priest and the boy are arguing about how the other one should jump the blonde grabs a bag and jumps and then the boy says okay priest lets go and the priest says how she took one of the parachutes and the boy says no she didnt she took my back pack.
number=2 so a pilot hires a new air line stewardess and they are staying down in florida and the blonde is late for work so the pilot calls her hotel and she says there answers crying the pilot asks whats wrong she says i cant get out of my room he asks why and she says there are three doors in this room one is the bathroom and ones the closet the other one says do not disturb
number =3 a blonde calls 911 and they answer: 911 whats your emergency :she says there is a fire in my apartment  the operator responds: how do we get to your apartments: the blonde says: in the big red truck you dummy!      COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

C