We get so wrapped up in our own feelings that we often forget to consider the Holy Spirit’s feelings, other than love and anger. The Holy Spirit has been sharing a lot of insight lately into how He feels about some things in comparison to how I’ve felt about the same type of feelings, ie, parent/child relationship type feelings that result from situations. I’ve already shared parts with you in "I Am Reminded", but I’m going to take the liberty of sharing them again for the purpose of expanding on them with what the Holy Spirit has shared with me today. Please stay with me until the end of this.

The one that I’ve already shared is regarding when I go to the mailbox hoping for a note from a loved one: a sister, one of my children, grandchild or get online hoping for an email from one of them or hoping to get a phone call from one of them day after day and when the hope is in vain as nothing happens.

The Holy Spirit laid on my heart that this is now HE feels, disappointed, sad, letdown, rejected, when His children don’t take time to be with Him in prayer and His Word. He’s there waiting, watching, hoping, expecting, and then - nothing. They got busy with less important things, didn’t make time or worse, just forgot. He feels these things: disappointment, sadness, let down, rejection.

The next one is actually two combined into one. The other day the Holy Spirit gave me a very tiny glimpse of what the first few seconds are like after one of His unsaved children dies, and today He shared with me how He feels when His children don’t love him back, reject his gift of salvation and die unsaved. Wow! What feelings! And He is feeling this for the population of the whole world! I "saw" and "felt" the first few moments (that was enough!!) After the death of an unsaved person. I felt their total utter terror as they see the demons there to drag them off into hell. I felt their realization that they had died, they have taken their last breath, they are on their way to hell, there’s no turning or going back, realize with their full being that it is forever and ever and there’s absolutely no way out ever, that they missed heaven by their own choosing by their rejecting Jesus - the truth. Man, just a tiny glimpse was enough for me!! I really don’t think my heart could take any more! I know I want no part of it!! Then this afternoon, for some reason, I guess the Holy Spirit put the thoughts and feelings there to share with me, I was thinking about while I was growing up knowing my mother had never bonded with me and didn’t love me like she loved my older sisters. After I was an adult whenever my sisters would come to town, she would call her and daddy’s sisters and brothers and invite them up to visit with my sisters. She never ever invited anyone up to see me when I visited. It was obvious that myself and my visits weren’t important to her and it always broke my heart. I felt so inferior knowing that my own mother didn’t even love me. This was obvious to my dad too because one day without ever saying a word to him about my feelings, he said that he was the black sheep of his family too. He understood my heartache. I’ve forgiven her and have loved her just the same regardless. My point to all of this is this: as I was having those dreadful feelings fresh all over again, the Holy Spirit shared with me that this is how He feels when His children don’t love Him back and reject Him. He loves them so much! He’s done all he can do for them to love Him; He even came to earth in the form of a man and died in their place so they could see how much He loves them and so they can be with Him for eternity. But they reject him anyway and refuse to even admit He exists! This alone makes Him feel heartbroken, but worse than that, He has to sit by and watch, after they’ve rejected Him, as they die and go to hell of their own choosing. This is certainly grieving the Holy Spirit!! Sharing those feelings surely made me weep for the unsaved, and it made me consider that perhaps their death just may make the Holy Spirit actually weep! It made me cry with a broken heart, and He shared that this is how He feels.

Thanks for sticking with me and reading all of this. At least I hope you have. It’s been very heavy on my heart and has really been putting a heavy burden on my heart for the unsaved! Any more when I read the obituaries and don’t read anything concerning God anywhere in the life of a deceased person’s life now makes me want to cry, even though they are strangers. That is the real tragedy in their death, no matter how young or old they were, no matter how they died or how much they suffered: they died without Jesus.

I’m not stating that the Holly Spirit feels exactly what I was feeling. If I did feel exactly what the Holy Spirit feels, I would be dead instantly. I wouldn’t be able to stand that kind of magnitude of feelings. Just what glimpse I did feel made my chest hurt for two days. I was feeling, again, just a glimpse of how He feels about those circumstances. He really DOES understand our feelings and emotions.