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| Openness may not be what the church needs |
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Afterall, Church (with a capital C), thrives better with genuinity instead of anonymity. - Using Your Real Name... thanks to Facebook
I started this Labor Day weekend believing this was true. I'm always thought I was a huge openness fan. I ended this weekend realizing this was just another example of a mask I wear. As many folks know I became beligerrent over the weekend. Let me explain parts of what that happened. 1) I went to my actual church. Do you know on the back of the prayer cards at our church, they have a little check box that says "For staff only"? (Maybe others don't have that, but I'm guessing they have something like that) As I walked out, there was a benevolence offering. In case we are unique here, this is an opportunity to give money in case someone is struggling. This is usually done with as close to anonymity as possible. Then I started thinking about the men's prayer group I attend. And the lunch group I attend. And I realized, part of the reason for the openness we have is anonymity. We know it's not going to go outside the 4 walls of those rooms. Yes others know our names, but there are many groups that were formed precisely because people didn't want others to know their names. And that's part of why they work. Things like Alcoholics Anonymous, and other 12 step programs. And I think of HopeFiendDave and wonder if he would have started shared knowing one day the anonymity he had might be gone. I think of the prayer request I had for a brother on here, and wondered, for him would it have been better if I had been open about his name? I started thinking of the conversations I have on Facebook. Most of them incredibly shallow and wonder if part of the reason I don't share more there is because I know who knows me there. It's easy to look at folks who don't appear to share as much on here and think, you know if only they'd be more open. If only they would give a little more information. Maybe they can't. Maybe they don't have anything more to give? How do you live? Do you share everything that goes on in your life here? Are you completely honest? Or are there masks you hide behind because you are known? Truths you don't tell? I'm not saying you should share all of that, or that you should be feeling guilt about not sharing that. I'm just sharing what I found out about the masks I wore. 2) Saved for another time. |
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| To add a comment to "Openness may not be what the church needs" |
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| September 08, 2009 |
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| September 08, 2009 |
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Great thoughts, Normal Norm! I also see you and Just Sarah have already figured out how to be someone other than your real names. :-) |
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| September 08, 2009 |
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| That's the problem I'm having, because people are missing that that's not the point. I thought (at the time I posted this) that there had been a reprieve because folks came to their senses (because when I came in I was still showing as Norm).
2) If myChurch does not obey their own privacy policy for this, what's to say they will next time? (What's to say they will even give us any warning?) This is a very slippery slope to head down. And btw, there are a couple of things that were removed from the privacy policy during this release that do raise a concern. |
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| September 08, 2009 |
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| Such as..... |
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| September 08, 2009 |
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I'm quite open and blunt, but wisdom tells me not to share every intimate detail to the vast majority. I have been too open before and given opportunity for the devil to use a well meaning believer to kick me while I was down. I don't pretend my marriage is easy, b/c it's HARD, sometimes unbearable. I don't pretend I got it all together, b/c I don't. I still get angry and swear when in a rage. I still pull away from clingy people God wants me to help b/c I hate clinginess. I still struggle as a mom to be attentive. I am a horrid wife in so many ways. What else ya wanna know? There's a lot going on in the natural realm of our lives (as in my fam's). All sorts of huge things, but I don't magnify the problem by telling everyone when not necessary. We need people to pray for us, yes, but we gotta use our judgment and discernment on who to share certain things with. I put on a mask---I put on Christ. Which means when that brother in the Lord is being a big fat hypocrite, while Lara would love to put him in his place and probably would, Christ would overlook the offense, which is sometimes (becoming more often than before) what I do. When that sister-in-the-Lord is boasting in this or that the old Lara would like to slap her silly, but Christ would again, overlook it. So I'm being real, even when I don't say or do what my flesh wants, b/c I'm told to put on Christ. I know this blog is pertaining to the change in Mychurch, but people could change their "real name" settings before they switched over so it didn't come up. Me, I use my real name b/c I don't care. I ministered to homeless/druggies/prostitudes/johns/ex-cons, etc. so I'm not overly concerned about weirdos knowing my name. lol |
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| September 08, 2009 |
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Bolding and spacing seem to be an issue in Google Chrome. Compare the middle portion of this with what is out there now. However, even beyond that *if* they do not follow the policies as they are stated even now, why should I be believing they will in the future? Specifically check out "Changes in our Privacy Policy" down below in "Terms & Privacy". Unless it changes soon, you'll see why I say they aren't following it. Information Collection and Use by MyChurch.org
Mychurch.org collects user submitted information such as name, email address, and age to authenticate users and to send notifications to those users relating to the Mychurch.org service. Mychurch.org also collects other profile data including but not limited to: personal interests, gender, age, education and occupation in order to assist users in finding and communicating with each other.
As a matter of policy, except where you are expressly informed otherwise, we do not sell, rent, share, trade or give away any of your personal information unless required by law or for the protection of your membership. However, MyChurch.org may share profile information and aggregate usage information in a non-personally identifiable manner to third parties in the future in order to present to members targeted advertising, products and services. In such situations we will never disclose information that will be used to personally identify you.
User Profile information including members' pictures and first names are displayed to people in order to facilitate user interaction in the Mychurch.org social networking community. Email addresses are used for the purposes of inviting new friends to join MyChurch, to add users to members' friends' networks, and to send notifications related to the service. With the exception of inviting friends, adding friends, and notifications, a user's email address is not shared or displayed to people within a user's personal network Users within a personal network communicate on Mychurch.org with each other through the Mychurch.org service, without disclosing their email addresses. Users' full names are never directly revealed to other members. To facilitate searching and finding friends and acquaintances on the service, Mychurch.org allows users to search for other members using first and last name, email address, and schools/churches and/or companies where users may have attended or worked. |
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| September 08, 2009 |
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By down below, I meant the link at the bottom of this page. Also, Lara, I know the dangers having been around a long time. My issue is that people come to me all the time with computer questions. They don't always know these things, so if I say something to them, I feel responsible for them. I would say the majority of "my Church" on myChurch have not longed in over a year. (Again this is an example, albeit real) Some of them are kids (younger than 18), some of them are *my* kids, and some of them are not incredibly tech savy. They signed in with one set of expectations. Those have changed and in general those people didn't get informed about them. The reason I've kept (or wanted to keep) my nickname is that is how people know me here. And it reminds me of Cheers (the theme song), where there are people who are always glad you came. Actually it's generally a good reminder of how I should be. |
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| September 08, 2009 |
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| lol Everybody knows your name...or at least they used to. ;p |
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| September 11, 2009 |
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| [star!] |
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