One of the most grievous issues a pastor has to deal with is when his sheep don't get along.  Something is inherently wrong when two believers or more can not come together in unity.  This usually means one of three  things.  Either one is right and the other is wrong, or they are both wrong, or their is a misunderstanding.  Now we all know, or should know by now that Christians don't always act or behave like good Christians should.  This is a normal behavior, but really our behavior as Christians should be abnormal, meaning that our words need to be seasoned with grace.  Our actions should be motivated by compassion.  Our thoughts need to be pure.  Our attitude needs to be one of submission.  Herein lies the rub as Shakespeare would say.  What we should do and what we actually, do are two differently things entirely.  We all know we should be better than we are but the reality is we don't always attain to those lofty standards.  

So how do we solve this problem when two Christians bicker?  How does a pastor protect the sheep from one another?  Why do we as church people insist on hurting one another?  Why do we always have to get our way?  Sometimes, yes, it seems like some people give and give and give while others take and take and take and finally the one that has given gets fed up and lashes out at the taker. But why?  Was not the one that was giving indeed giving out of a heart of love, or were they giving to get something in return?  Often times it becomes apparent in our thinking that if "I don't stand up for myself" people are going to walk all over me. Why does the taker seem entitled to take?  All of these things are very delicate issues as one sheep needs comforting while another needs a butt kicking. Sometimes, they are both wrong and both get wounded in the fight and they not only need a healing but they need a stern butt kicking as well.  Ughh!  God give us wisdom!

Truthfully, it takes two people to fight.  However, it only takes one to break a relationship and one to offend, bite and hurt the other. Each one of then are accountable for our own actions.  Each one of us, must be swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to wrath. We all must be kind one to another tender-hearted forgiving one another.  Each one of us needs to let our moderation be known to all men.  Each one of us must do all things without disputing, grumbling, or complaining. So, you may say:  "Pastor Todd, I do all those things but it still hurts" good there is two things that you lack still.  1.  Meekness (power under control)  To be able to turn the other cheek requires meekness.  To go the extra mile requires meekness, to say, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do" requires meekness.   2.  The other thing that is necessary is that one of the two that are caught in the conflict has to be dead. What?  Yup, one of them has to be dead.  Dead to self that is.  In other words, dead to self means that you have voluntarily willingly given up your rights for justice and equity and fairness. You forfeit your right to be hurt, to be offended, to be wounded.  The Lord showed me this one time:  When I was hurt by someone in ministry it was if I heard Him say to me.  "Todd, You can't offend a dead person."  That made so much sense to me.  If I were standing over a corpse and began to revile and insult and accuse that corpse that corpse would just lay there.  It would have no effect on that corpse because the person was / is dead.  When we crucify our self we put to death all those selfish desires, needs, and wants and we allow Christ to live through us.  That is what the Apostle Paul was saying when he said, "I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live.  Yet not I but Christ lives in me, and the life that I live now in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me."  We put to death our selfish rights and desires by faith and when we do that we make Christ alive in us.  He then is able to live through us and be seen in us.  Truthfully, I say to you, your response to conflict is a measure of your own spirituality or lack of it.

So the next time you are tempted to fight remember, you need to practice meekness and most of all crucify that old sinful self and let the life and love of God be made alive in you!  You can do it!  And when you do it, you will find that church will be a whole lot more fun and enjoyable!