I have read a lot on forgiveness this week and how Christians should forgive others as Jesus has forgiven us. Sometimes we know how hard that can be but there is someone that we have even more trouble forgiving and that is ourselves. Sometimes in life we hurt the ones we really care about and we must ask for them to forgive us. What do we do with the pain we have caused ourselves when we do this? Well in realility if the Bible commands to forgive others and we know the person we hurt has forgiven us and we allows know that God forgives us. The answer should be simple, but its not and it never is. You see not too long ago I hurt several people in my life that mean a great deal to me. Now they have forgiven me, one in particular has forgiven me and the trust has almost completely grown back. I have not completely forgiven myself and I do not completely trust myself, while some things change, we also know that some things stay the same. I know your going to tell me that all things are possible thru Christ Jesus. I know this is true. Jesus tells us that when we except him into our hearts as our Lord and Savoir and we are baptized that the old is washed away and a new man is born. I believe that is true as well. Maybe that is a topic for another blog, on another day.

1 John 9:  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

I don’t know why this verse is signnifigent but after a brief search this is what I found. I have confessed and asked the Lord for forgiveness and I know that he has forgiven me. So why the uneasiness, and why the uncertainty in the way things are going?

I know we will pay for what we have done. We know that Heaven there are circumstances for the things we have done here on earth. Do we pay for them here on earth as well? The answer is yes we do. If we break the law, we pay for it by paying a fine or going to jail, sometimes both. There are things that we do that the law will not get involved in but there are immoral things as well. We will answer to family, friends and even our church. When we comment these sins against others we forget, the we must answer to someone that is far worse on us that any family member or even our best friend, that person is ourselves. Let me say this because I know a few of you are thinking this and you are right. The Holy Spirit was sent to us a Christians to convict us and let us know that we are sinning.

Act 2: 1) When the Day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place.

           2) And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled whole house where they were sitting.

            3) Then there appeared to them divided tongues, as of fire, and one sat upon each of them.

           4) And they were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in tongues, as the spirit gave them utterance.

So what are we doing when the Holy Spirit is convicting us before we commit this sin, during the act and after it is done with? I can honestly say there are three answers to that.

One- we just were not listening, two- we ignored what we heard, or three- we do not know how to listen to what we are being told. I know what my answer was, and probably still is. Do you know yours; the answer is between yourself and God. Search you heart and see where what the answer is. Only you can ask God to help; only you can forgive yourself. If you think that because God has forgiven you and the person you sinned against has forgiven you then what is the big deal.

This went from a devotional to piece for my personal diary and back to a devotional. Maybe I created some new questions for you to ask yourself and maybe I answered some.

God Bless

Frank Alford

P.S. This took me a month to write. I was just unsure of where to go with it once I started. Thanks.