Today started out as just another day of work. I was minding my own business–walking out of the building to go to lunch–when it happened. Out of nowhere (actually, from behind me), a red wasp ninja leapt from the awning, intent upon striking me down.

Because of my acute hearing, I heard his sloppy movements as he approached. I turned in time to realize he was going for my head. I threw up my Black Scorpion defense posture, but his Woo Shoo was good. Very good. He got through my defenses and was able to deliver two blows to my head before I struck him with the fatal Sand Palm blow as he fled from his failed assassination attempt.

So, yes, I got stung by a red wasp in two places on my head; the back of my head. COWARD!!! He couldn’t take me head-on! I’m deadly allergic to wasp stings (and it probably compromises national security for me to divulge that), so I proceeded to the drug store to pick up some Benadryl. I popped a couple and then went to lunch anyway! I wasn’t going to let a little ninja ambush ruin my day!

By the time I got back to school, I had hives on my face, neck, back and arms. So I asked my boss what I should do, and she told me to call Workers’ Comp and to go to the Emergency Room. So I did.

That was at 12:30. I finally got home at 5:30! Got a steroid prescription and a prescrip for Pepcid!!! Huh??? Apparently, Pepcid has som whacked out side effect that quells allergic reactions to ninjas, wasps, and bees! So remember that, kiddos. Yup. But don’t assume that your experience with ninjas will go as smoothly as mine did. After all, I’ve had years of ninja training. You might not be so fortunate!

<update>Ouch! After reading up on wasps, I stumbled across an amazing fact. I was owned by a female wasp! A rarity; a ninjette! A girl ninja. Yes. I couldn’t believe it either. It turns out that the stinger on a wasp is actually an ovipositor… an organ used to deposit eggs or–in this case–sting the living crap out of the head of an innocent passer-by!But it doesn’t matter now. Because, you see, I have been vindicated. The ninja that attacked me is dead now. As is her entire clan of Red Wasp Ninjas. My boss called in a chemical strike on the hive just moments after the attack. Nerve agents were deployed on the Ninja lair in severely lethal amounts. There were no survivors. My vindicators spared none. Even the little wasplings were slaughtered with no remorse!

Let this be a warning to all of the ninja clans in the world. If you mess with me, you mess with my clan!