| Why Pray?... |
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I am confused.
I just found out that one of my family members is in the hospital having surgery. Nothing major, but surgery none the less. While hanging out with one of my good friends tonight, I told her we should pray for her before we went to bed. However, I realized that I was praying not because I felt the need to, but because I knew I should. I wasn't worried. Not that my philosophy on prayer even is to pray when you're worried that just seemed to affect my prayers this time around.
Sometimes I really feel unemotional toward situations that I think most people would be somewhat affect by. This bothers me. Only because I don't know where it stems from. Is it trust in God? Faith? Or just the fact that God has blessed my pants off so tragedy is something I'm unfamiliar with?
Why pray?
God's in control.
Here's kinda how I work....I pray.....I talk to God everyday multiple times. But I pray for things that are on my heart. I converse with God really....as I would any of my close friends. I tell Him what's on my mind and work out problems. I even pray for people....if they're on my heart. It's weird. Obviously it's the Holy Spirits prompting, but sometimes there are times when I feel like I should pray but I just don't. I don't hear the call. Am I relying on my strength? Does only God and I know the answer to this? Or do I have FAITH?
My friend and I were discussing prayer tonight and she had similar thoughts and questions. Why do we pray? I know God here's us, I know he cares, and I know he answers.....but He's ultimately in control so even if we don't pray aren't our prayers going to be answered? Doesn't God work against the enemy despite our prayers? Does that even make sense? I guess I don't see how we affect His plans. I mean if I ask God to be with my Aunt tonight, to give her peace and to protect her...if I didn't pray for those things would He not? I mean what if He wanted her to experience pain because he had a few things He wanted her to turn to Him for....would that mean my prayers go unanswered? I don't know. Whenever these thoughts enter my mind I typically just shoo them away and tell myself not to analyze it. Not tonight. It really bothers me. For some reason I just felt so messed up that I didn't 'care' enough for my aunt to genuinely want and feel the need to pray for her. And I know that's not the case. I do care about her...I'm simply not. worried. So then I ask myself...whyyyy does that matter? It occurs numerous times, I suppose that's why it bothers me and why I wonder if I'm messed up. And the whole will factor confuses me. My thoughts were that prayers only go answered if they're within God's will....which leads me back to the whole 'why pray?' question if God already has a freaking will!
I don't know. Give me insight. I respect all your thoughts and opinions.
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